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Poetry

	Kahlia Mazacalletti
	PROFILE About me Friends (66) Poetry (77) Diary (53)

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Kahlia Mazacalletti, 29 december 2012

ANXIETY

I am up again at 3am, once again to my chagrin
I try and try to stop the fight, it's just another anxious night
I feel like I am losing my mind, I have tried to leave the memories behind
It's such a crazy place to be, I can really, really see
That none of this makes any sense at all-but someplace I have dropped the ball
I can't seem to get control again over me; So I just scream "God , help me, Please"
Why must this continue on, I think of it as a punishment
But then I stop and I lament
About my family and such and how I loved them oh, so much
The car crash killed them all, you see
That's why I have anxiety
God took them all that day, but I know where they are
That helps me a lot-each one is a star-
In the southern sky and in Heaven way up high
So anxiety will stop someday, I will just muster through
I will think Of All Of You
Until my grief goes away, I continue to pray each day
Dear Lord hear my prayer; keep my anxiety in your care

For Susan Powers, my dear friend

number of comments: 2 | rating: 3 | detail

Kahlia Mazacalletti, 27 january 2013

Mindframe

I sat on the beach and I looked at the sky, I asked myself a question and I wondered why
How many heartbreaks and how many traumas have to happen before I can cry
It has been a long 10 years and now I am done , trying to reason with all of it still
If, I don't leave it and move on it can possibly kill
My mind as I know it, my heart and my love for man
I've went to therapy, I have done all that I can
I am happier now than I have ever been
I can laugh at a laugh and grin at a grin.........
My life has not been so easy but I am not alone
I've met other people like me; who are in the mindframe of not going on
I realize that certain people help, they brighten your day
You don't have to see them, Just a freindly hello or hey
I want my friends to know I am really O.K., just sometimes sad...
It is normal you see, but better than always "acting" and being mad
So, I wrote in the sand..."It's a good day today" and then I said my blessings
Then I wrote this , so no-one is guessing

After visiting the graves of my family........

number of comments: 1 | rating: 3 | detail

Kahlia Mazacalletti, 21 february 2013

Illusionist

For it is fine with me now; if you go away, leave without a trace
It has been coming for some time
You wear so many masks; you could be in a carnival of clowns
I have tried for 4 years to get change
But change is hard when you are a master illusionist
I feel like I have been cut in half more than once by your words
Do you believe I still care for you; I don't, it is a convienience
Like the one you get the BIG GULP from, it has been banned in New York
You should be banned as well
Sitting like a King in the living room; with your crown on, know it all
And know nothing; except , you need to walk out the front door
Please let me enjoy the silence once more
As if I were deaf to you
Go on your way and leave me alone

number of comments: 5 | rating: 3 | detail

Kahlia Mazacalletti, 19 february 2013

PATHWAYS

Stay away from those who use you
For they are the wicked and deceitful
Being forlorn is not the answer
Your insides will turn to stone
For you have been hurt so desperately
Do not sit on the spinning ball
For it will keep you complacent
In your future ; there is such hope and dignity
Much love and mutual respect
Don't you see that you deserve so much more
Than just remnants of a broken heart
The pathways to a lost soul
Now is your time, your day
Pick up the pieces and move along
For it is your time to shine....

number of comments: 2 | rating: 3 | detail

Kahlia Mazacalletti, 7 january 2013

Somewhere in Tiajuana

She sat up late to contemplate, what life would be like with all the strife
Problems here, Problems there-some larger than others, but still everywhere
It seems that her time has taken its toll;but she's still fighting to reach her goal
To be the woman she wants to be, with all her wealth in her memory
For sometimes dollars aren't worth a dime
It's what she had stored for all her time
She spent looking back over the years of lost and found and planted her feet on solid ground
It's not easy going down memory lane,and re-hashing heartache all over again
But she stayed in time with herself-one on one; until her inventory was done
She forgot about the bad and kept the best;threw away the garbage and kept the rest
Put X's on some boxes and closed those doors;she'd already been down those roads before
Then she smiled and let it all go.......
On a dusty road in Tiajuana, Mexico

number of comments: 0 | rating: 3 | detail

Kahlia Mazacalletti, 10 march 2013

Hurt

Be yourself in all things you do.
You are fortunate to be alive
After all the things that you have done to me.....

Hatred and contempt over cloud your judgement and at times you take it out on me.

Why must you be so stubborn and emotionally abusive to me
Did I not say I would stick by you til the end?
I have kept my promise but you treat me like a bag of dirt
Use some then throw it all away.

I loved you once but now the flowers are in bloom and I haven't enough time to weigh in on my feelings.
Love is blind but you read braille............get it?

I just want you to know I have no afternoon agenda here.
So please leave out the same door you came in and do it peacefully.

Maybe, I sound harsh but I have told you in so many ways...I do not love you anymore

So you end your own life and I am left to pick up all the puzzle pieces.

It is called hurt...........

number of comments: 2 | rating: 3 | detail

Kahlia Mazacalletti, 16 january 2013

Raising Me

Being born into a family Black and Blue was hard; to say the least
I was not the prodigal daughter; I was a black sheep
A shirt with two double zero's on it...........
Never doing anything right was just oh so wrong
Sitting on a curb; dangling my feet off
Going to sleep in the basement; lower than my self esteem
EMERGENCY
Always undermined by my older brother; the Golden Child
Beaten in my mind til I was purple
Kept on lock down in my own home
Should I have held up a white flag?
EMERGENCY
I never realized the toll it took on me til I got in therapy
Her always asking me the questions......how did that make you feel?
It felt like an EMERGENCY......God, I needed Help.................
Twisted and worn, I left that HOME at age 17, and I am the person I am today, because of it
I asked GOD for help and HE listened every time
No More Emergencies

number of comments: 1 | rating: 3 | detail

Kahlia Mazacalletti, 16 february 2013

GREEN EYES

He loved her green eyes; they told him so much
Her wild and tameless hair blowing in the wind
Will it ever stop, he wondered, that unbrideled spirit she has?
Her long muscular, but lean legs, her tempting rosy, red lips
He longed for her, he ached for her; she was unique
Like a wild animal; she growled a little moan at times
She was always thinking of new and interesting things to do
And ways to do them........it made him crazy
He dreamt of her in his sleep; he dreamt of her while he was awake
Her perfectly poreless skin; so soft like a babies
He loved her so; did she know it, or was his imagination running wild
He could only see things in her green eyes
We all covet things we cannot have ; things we want so badly
But she was different, living next door was so hard
Seeing her daily, it was like a job
So, until he could find the words ; he would have to just look at her
Beautiuful sparkling Green Eyes........

number of comments: 2 | rating: 3 | detail

Kahlia Mazacalletti, 10 february 2013

A Broken Heart

It has been so calm in the house
Since our last argument; you could beg for more than silence
I surmise that it is almost over
The tension is unbearable; who dares, wins
I know my heart will be broken , but will keep beating, nonetheless
Why must you be so distant in your efforts to make me feel so alone
Love to me is like a war, easy to start but hard to stop
We were more than lovers once; we were friends
Friends who smiled at each other and didn't go out in a crowd to smile at strangers , instead
Why must you be so heartless in finishing our lives together, so cold
Like the snow gathering on the window pane
Once more I beg you to finish it as it started; a tear runs down my cheek
Please take your leave and I'll take mine; a fine goodbye and a good wish for the future

number of comments: 2 | rating: 3 | detail

Kahlia Mazacalletti, 5 march 2013

Question Mark

How do you know when you've fallen out of love
The embers die in your soul and the dam in your heart breaks
We are like a flood of water pouring out all over
It seems as though I find myself pondering; people don't know how dark I am within my head at times.
The visual of true love gone awry...gone astray
There are many facets and masks that have been worn...........too long
Like a prom king being crowned but she's the town tramp
So love is a stranger to me but to love again will come
A protector of my own world and heart
You can waste years of your life; you never can have back