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	Angel
	PROFILE About me Friends (5) Poetry (36) Photography (1) Diary (2)

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Angel, 23 december 2012

Blood smeared pages

Open the book,
And turn the page.
You'll see what I,
Went through at each age.

Years one through ten,
I was perfect as can be.
But after eleven,
Things changed as you will see.

As I grew older,
My pain became clear.
My eyes were always shining,
Because they were holding back the tears.

I started getting into,
Things I know I shouldn't have.
Then I saw,
How it made my friends sad.

A few began,
To see the scars.
Not knowing the pain,
That made me go far.

Hardly any warning,
Would I heed.
Then you turn the page,
And it's hard to read.

The next few pages,
Were smeared with blood.
The words you could read spoke,
Of blood flowing out like a flood.

The words you read,
Are too painful to repeat.
It was so horrifying,
You couldn't stay in your seat.

It was hard for me to write,
When the pages were being stained red.
But I needed to write out my life,
Before I was dead.

I felt that if I didn't,
I would have been of no use.
Like there was no reason for me to be good,
I might as well have let the monster loose.

It's getting harder for me to write,
Because my blood keeps smearing.
I can barely see,
Because my eyes are tearing.

So I'll be quick,
I will be fast.
For the life I have left,
Will no longer last.

I'm sorry for all the pain,
That I have put you through.
Through these blood smeared pages I'm saying to my friends and family,
Good bye, I'm sorry, and I love you.

number of comments: 2 | rating: 4 | detail

Angel, 21 april 2012

It's all for you too

You said you loved me,
When you looked into my eyes.
I should have known,
Your words were lies.

Through you,
My heart was opened.
Because of you,
It is now broken.

I want you to know,
Go away.
For with me,
You'll never stay.

I can not stay here,
Anymore.
This is what,
A knife is for.

I'll ball my hand,
Into a fist.
And slide the knife,
Straight through my wrist.

I will sit there,
And let my blood flow.
All of it,
So you will know.

Exacty what,
You did to me.
Now at rest,
In peace i will be.

All alone,
Will i be in death.
Where i can live,
Without regret.

There is no saving me,
No matter how hard you try.
That is why i now,
Choose to say goodbye.

I hope you love your life,
With me now gone.
Cause my ghost will forever haunt you,
Until you're dead on your lawn.

And i'll make you suffer,
Everything I went through.
Just remember that all my pain,
Is meant for you too.

number of comments: 1 | rating: 2 | detail

Angel, 21 april 2012

I'm alone

I will stand up, and I will fight,
I will work to show the light.

I just want the world to see,
The girl who is the real me.

I am a girl, who is afraid,
Of everything the world has made.

I'm not as strong as you think I am,
I'm not as clean and pure as a lamb.

I have cut and I have bled,
But still the world has not found me dead.

I have not been able to kill myself,
But I know that I need help.

Every cut ends with a scar,
And never again do I want to go that far.

The love of my life left me in the rain,
And now I'm drowning in the pain.

No longer do I know who my life is for,
I just don't want to be alone anymore...

number of comments: 1 | rating: 0 | detail

Angel, 21 april 2012

I'm alone

number of comments: 1 | rating: 2 | detail

Angel, 23 december 2012

The words she says

The words she says,
Pierce me deep.
She doesn't hear me,
Even if I weep.

She claims she's not saying,
My sisters better than me.
But no matter how hard I try,
She will never see.

The girl that's hidden,
Deep inside.
So scared to come out,
She always hides.

No one believes in me,
So slowly I die.
Barely lives,
Drowning in lies.

"Why should I try?"
Is what I think.
No one gives help,
So in the pain I sink.

I'll never be good enough,
For anyone.
And no matter what,
No one will come.

With everything she says,
And everything she does.
She's killing me softly,
Never again to be the angel I was.

Because the words she says,
Pierce me deep.
And she'll never hear me,
Even if I weep.

number of comments: 1 | rating: 5 | detail

Angel, 16 may 2012

What's the Point?

At home I always,
Feel alone.
No one there,
Just me on my own.

Always crying,
Myself to sleep.
Drowning in pain,
That is always deep.

The smile I wear,
Is only a shell.
Behind the mask,
I'm living in hell.

My parents sure as hell,
Don't care.
Like it matters,
Because they're never there.

My friends they care,
But they'll never see.
The dying girl,
Inside of me.

My life doesn't matter,
Because I'm always wrong.
No matter how hard I try,
I'll never be strong.

Acting all the time,
Like I'm okay.
Is killing me slowly,
More and more each day.

In truth I don't know,
How much longer I'll last.
Or if my pain,
Will ever pass.

I just know,
I'm dying inside.
And every day,
It's getting harder to hide.

People always say,
I'm perfect and sweet.
But to me,
Even that is an impossible feat.

I'm sorry the life that I live,
Is a lie.
And I feel the only wat to fix it,
Is to die.

I haven't come to that point yet,
Because I'm looking for truth.
Something good inside of me,
Just a bit of proof.

But everything I care about,
Has been taken away.
So what's the point of living,
If there's no reason to stay?

I'm tired of acting,
Like the pain is not there.
It hurts too much,
And nobody cares.

Tell me why should I live,
If I don't know what for.
What's the point of living,
If you don't want to anymore.

number of comments: 1 | rating: 1 | detail

Angel, 21 april 2012

Recovery

We were together,
For almost a year
Everytime i think of you,
I shed a tear

I dont think i'll be able,
To open up again
Cause i already lost,
My best friend...

number of comments: 1 | rating: 3 | detail

Angel, 26 april 2012

I'm Not Alright

I'm not alright,
I'm broken inside.
I'm slowly dying,
With nowhere to hide.

So many lies,
And so much pain.
I rather be dead,
Than living in the rain.

I remember the time,
Where I would ball my fist.
And slowly drag the knife,
Across my wrist.

I remember the blood,
As it flowed out of me.
But not enough,
For the world to see.

I hid the truth,
From all of my friends.
So they would not see me,
At my end.

Ya I've stopped,
And ya I've been clean.
But my past still haunts me,
In my dreams.

So next time you ask me me if I'm alright,
I'll say no.
Then the truth,
Is what you'll finally know.

number of comments: 1 | rating: 3 | detail

Angel, 11 april 2012

Because of him

I've been sitting and waiting inside my
shell
Living inside my personal hell

Waiting for something to happen to me
Something to bring out the real me

I'm tired of hiding all of my tears
And tired of running from all of my fears

Finally came that one special night
And never once did I put up a fight

I never thought I'd let him in
But finally I let him win

All we did that night was dance
Truly for me a divine romance

A few were surprised to see me like that
Because at every other dance all I did was chat

Of all the guys I danced with there
He's the only one who seemed to care

Because of him I opened up
Instead of being stuck in a lonely rut

Now my life has left me feeling fine
I really hope this is a sign

Of greater things that are yet to come
Hopefully a boyfriend because hell ya I want one

He is sweet, as sweet as can be
And from now on the real me is the one people will see.

number of comments: 1 | rating: 2 | detail

Angel, 11 april 2012

Secretly In Love

You look at her and think she's okay
But her boyfriend sees her as a girl to play

She walks around with him at school
But he really thinks she isn't cool

She knows her "friends" are completely fake
And they're the reason for the cuts she make

She'd rather live a life of lies
Than be the lonely girl who cries

You want to see her leave them behind
And find a guy who's actually kind

You wish that she would look at you
And see you as someone who'd actually be true

A guy who wouldn't want to see her cry
And give her no reason to always lie

But to her you're another face in the crowd
And a voice that isn't very loud

Maybe someday she'll give you a glance
And maybe even give you a chance

And you'll have that dream again and again
But until it comes true you can't wait 'til then...

number of comments: 1 | rating: 3 | detail

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Latest items:

Poetry

Blood smeared pages

It's all for you too

I'm alone

I'm alone

The words she says

What's the Point?

Recovery

I'm Not Alright

Because of him

Secretly In Love

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