13 lutego 2012

When pain becomes the remedy

Gazing over a coloured night, stars shining like little diamonds..
Me, a chair and a small table, a pack of smokes an ashtray...
Nothing else needed

for a perfect night..

A chance to muster and embrace nocturnal's blanket...
A chance to berelieved.. through a shroud of suffering...
 
   
 Gazing through a broken mirror.... glue can fix the pieces.. but never heal the cracks..
Playing with the shards of the past can cut you deeply...
 
As we look to passing days...
 
Worrying for tomorrow
 
Fearing for today

Will we embrace the shroud
And fly freely..
Like angels with torn wings, downwards into  
rotting earth...
Inside catacombs
As the moon and sun battle over and over... and seasons die and come to life...

This constant feeling, this burden keeps gnawing at me...
Slowly working it's way up my brain...
Slowly streaming poison through my veins.. 
In vain...
To battle this overmight...

Slowly we come to a point.. where the pain make us forget...
Where loss of blood and convulsion... are a way to let go...
 
A meaningful mutilation...
 
A broken body...
To mend a broken mind
 
A bleeding vein
to mend a bleeding heart
 
A stomach upset...
To get rid of the feeling that robs men of their apetite..

Each passing day.. cutting the pain away...
Carving meaning into life...
 
We slowly enter into a stadia where pain becomes a remedy...
Whereall emotional pain ceases to excist
andthere's only the extacy of open veins rejecting their life...


That burning pain... but comforting snooze like feeling...
Like anesthesy

Were vision is covered in haze...
When the brains pounds to the rhythm of your heartbeat...
And when you finally fall asleep in a warm blanket... never to wake again
 
Truly I dare say.....
 
Nothing could make this night more perfect...
 
I have found my remedy....
 

- Neverending_Nightmare now known as Shadowpain-


Jock Engelman,  

I very much like this poem. especially because i have been there before... now if i may, the main thing i would have to "critasize" or "criteque" would be your lyrical structure... you may want to check out different ways of structuring your poem, as to deliver the lines at the correct tempo which you would like your readers to read it...? just a suggestion :) i am always happy to hear people critique my work... :)

zgłoś |

Shadowpain,  

Yes I appreciate your tips very much but it's weird. I typed this poem in a special structure and it shows like this and it is indeed very annoying to read.

zgłoś |

Jock Engelman,  

yeah i can sort of see your structure now that i read it close but never the less thought provoking, just as poetry should be :)

zgłoś |

Shadowpain,  

Thanks for reading. I'm glad you like it

zgłoś |




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