Zmiana sposobu prezentacji
The end of school is in sight. I only have 20 exams. And i can learn it in 2 hours.
Most of the time i'm bored to death.
I love to sleep and i can sleep all day but i'm so tired.
I can't sleep at night.
I'm always up listening to music or watching a series.
I don't know why?
I don't feel like doing anything except kickboxing.
I guess i just really need vacation, i'm so tired of school and all the crap they give.
A few days ago, i was on my bike. I was on my way home when i finished my training. There they were, my neighbourhood kids. Very rude and they never say anything. My sisters once found something on the street. It belonged to one of them. My sister gave it back to him and he just took it. He didn't even say "thank you."
I received a phonecall while cycling, it was a friend of mine asking about how i was going to spend my evening. Those annoying neighbourhood kids were also by bike and were cycling in the opposite direction, they were going to the park to play soccer. They saw me calling and one of them started saying rude things to me for no reason. Next time when i see him playing football on the street, i'm going to stop and ask him what his problem is. I'm done being pushed around by macho-trippy faggots.
Distant cries and weeping
Echoing
through my hollow skull
mind is numbing
barely awake
hard to breathe
i pull you near, the surface
of the abyss of my heart
lost at sea and shipwrecked you wallow through dark waters, that reflect in my eyes.
a stare of corpses
starlight crosses
and breaths entwine that what lives and that what is about to die
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Light at the end of the tunnel
Things are on the bright side most of the time.
I finally found someone special in my life, we are together 4 months now. I wouldn't know how i would get throught the day without her.
I finally found the energy to pick my life up again and do what i love to do.
I'm sporting again like i used too before my emotional breakdown.
I'm kickboxing, I always loved contactsports.
It's very heavy and disciplined, but i love it.
Pain strengthens the body and the discipline is good for me.
It also helps me to let go of some rage i need to stow away every day.
Not everything is good.
I'm attending college to become a teacher in history and Dutch.
But the teachers there are fools.
They can't organize anything but blame the students.
I hate people that think they are better than the rest.
A few weeks ago the told me that I had to be at school, so i hurried to get there in time.
When i got there, there was nobody.
It was like they were playing a joke with me.
It's been like that a few times.
I got very angry and then they tell me it's not their fault.
If i didn't do some kickboxing i probably would have thrown a few punches on the teacher.
And then there's Tom. The biggest moron of the entire school.
He (...)
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Lonely leaf filled with grief
Floating amidst the waters of disbelief
Shed its colours into the deep
a climb that was too steep.
Draped in dread and discontent
my feet bury themselves in melancholic sand.
Our carvings overgrown
Drifted apart
living on our own
The statue reduced to a chunk of stone
the soft vibration of your skin that flakes like snow
and pours like tears over that lovely face of yours
and the eyes
of lush spring and blissful green
that carried me to worlds unseen
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They once told me that a heartless person is someone who cared too much about something once in his life.....
They once told me love starts with a smile... ignites with a kiss and ends in tears...
They once told me love blinds the eyes and clouds the mind....
Here's my story.. again.
of a reflection so beautiful it could break water...
a thing that cannot be painted or photographed...
because the hands of men cannot capture the shapes and details of her..
A smile that makes every frown vanish...
Teeth as white as snow...
Eyes like lush forest groves....
And hair like copperwires....
She shocked me and one jolt was enough...
How she guided me to the gates on angel wings...
Angelic glory and the trumpets of thousands..
hid the failure that was lurking underneath the surface..
A flash of thunder struck my skull and my eyes opened..;
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Je reste sur place
Tu continues …….
J’arrête à toutes choses que tu dis ou fait, je continue à accrocher dans les rêves…
Et tu continues……
J’arrête.. à chaque photo que je vois….
Et tu continues….
Je reste sur place, un oasis stagnant..
Tu fluxes plus de la source à la chute d’eau… et tu emportes beauté où tu vas…
Je reste derrière, soif de rêves de toi…
Je reste derrière, avec riens d’autre que la poussière dans mains….
Et tu continues
Un de ces jours tu disparaîtras…. Un de ces jours tu auras trouvé le bonheur ..
Un de ces jours tu auras oublié moi… Peut – être tu as fait ça….
Et je suis la poussière sur ta pantalon que se détache avec le premier coup de vent…
Si tu sais… combien de temps je reste.. à tout moment je peux jouir de ton visage…
Pendant que ça reste…
Encore quatre mois et ensuite tu départes… disparu…
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Wings flapping like leather...
Sewn and stitched together.. these abominations take flight..
Fleeing from everything that is mundane... that is human
Failures of human fabrication...
Minds destroyed and twisted..
By the face of war...
Ingestion of chemicals..;
Forcefed stigma and indoctrination.
Free will is useless..
Spin sins together into a long web to catch innocent flies
Leech of their life...
a major parasite...
Broken, heartless and breathless these angels take flight up to the sky... their leathery black wings scorch underneath the rays of a dead sun..
On wax wings of despair....
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Collecting dust (on the road to defeat)
Your eyes like open windows,
I am the thief who jumps right in..
Steal all your thoughts and memories, keep them close to my chest..
close to my heart...
They said you're gone, but I know you're not.
You're always here, you never left...
I remember your bones, how they used to snap...
how you bled all over the floor....
but you're still here... you never left...
But...
No I am wrong...
your bones never snapped, nor was the blood yours...
It was mine....
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Couldn't get out of bed for school....
Had no energy to haul my carcass out of the bed...
Almost fell asleep on the bus.
After 3 dreadful hours of observing theater, got a task about phonetics to keep me busy during vacation.
Met this girl called Iris, she seemed nice enough, we were going to talk on skype.
found a nice zombie survival game to kill the time, i stored it in my favorites.
Anyway, douzed off. After the 3 hours of school, I spent 2 hours in the rain waiting for the busses i had to take just to do 20 km.
Came home, soaking wet, didn't have too much apetite.
Skyped with Iris, turned out to be another hopeless creature.
Another girl with no morals or respect for her body, only out to find guys to get in her bed.
I wondered , where has the world gone too...
Listened suicidal-depressive metal and Damien Rice until 2 am and wrote a small poem: The hope I crave, with bleeding fingers.
I kept thinking about Iris and it bothered me so much...
Why do I keep running into obstacles.. is there never an easy part...
She keeps bothering me on my cellphone...
acting all childish, sometimes calling me when she's drunk again..
She's only 16.... where has this world gone too?
I try so hard to think of good things, but i'm running out of options...
Anyway (...)
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The hope I crave, with bleeding fingers
Nothing.....
After all attempts
It was a waste to begin with....
Hope was buried beneath gallons of filth, fornication and lies....
Was this another sign??
Will it ever stop??
To be so close....
only to find myself on the losing end again...
She came dwindling into my life..
Of all cliches...
this was the worst....
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