Under My Skin

Why do I let you get under my skin?

Like “tick” that buries in and stays there
Last night I laid in bed and stared into the dark
Wondering “was it love?”, then I chuckled No, not by far

Why do I feel like the biggest loser
When you revel in my ineptness
When “you” were the abuser

Your hand never rose yet I felt your slap
Leaving scars on my heart
Your words…Oh how they struck

Maybe it’s because you made me feel
Inadequate as a wife and mom
Sometimes you had a heart of steel

Maybe it’s his way of re-assuring his decision
So he can say that divorcing me
Has made him a better person

Or is it his way of making sure
That I continue to pay for the hurt
He feels everyday with regret


** About an Ex-Husband