Latest items:
Renato N. Mascardo, 28 july 2023
Stemming the Flow
nullity
under
the bridge thoughts flow
what should have been held back
to coalesce slide through open
sluice gates
over
the dam down to
splashes of lochan each
spit unconnected each
thought lost
fragments
floundering in
muddied marsh the graveyard
of recalls of water under
the bridge
look at
me my love you
go to leave me helpless
here unable to change places
with you
stay with
me longer love
slow the waters flowing
off my love for nothing compares
2 U//
renato
thursday 27 july 2023
Ref: Prince Nelson (1990): Nothing Compares 2 U. Sang by Sinead Marie Bernadette O’Connor aka Sinead O’Connor aka Magda Davitt aka Shuhada’ Sadaqat (b1966-d2023).
Renato N. Mascardo, 8 march 2023
TO A FRIEND
being my friend at 3am
i can’t
even imagine
please let me try what you
feel right now in this darkest hour
before
the break
of dawn being
so alone so short of
breath half reclined in bed so so
tired but
too tired
to sleep instead
my wheezes keep time with
the wall clock that keeps vigil as
best as
it can
conducting this
cacophony of pain
within and without rising and
falling
my tongue
nails skin eyeballs
nude scalp bowels all clamoring
to be
heard by
an audience
captive and one trying
to sort out and plan what still lies
ahead
too much
to learn way too
many steps that can be
taken detours to hurdle when
will all
this end
initials like
notes chirping around me
her2+ adc dfs pfs
leave me
alone
quiet my heart
the war proceeds recedes
the siege continues but i’m far from
alone
but in
this deep lagoon
of ennui in this the
coal black hour of the night please let
me live
an hour
or two of quiet
desperation so that i can
savor all the more another
new day//
renato
wednesday 8 march 2023
Renato N. Mascardo, 2 march 2023
OF SATELLITES, TRAVELS, & FRIENDS
occasional sputniks
fellow
traveler each
one of us was is and will
be from birth to our last gasp
whether
we choose
to or not the
elisions we build merge
and consume parts of us with
pleasure
and pain
companions in
hurt and healing love and
hate being around even when
ignored
off and
on together
we have become casual
sputniks yet we persist or at
least
one of
us who reaches out
to keep the sputnik flame
burning til our discrete journeys
dissolve//
renato
wednesday 1 mar 2023
Renato N. Mascardo, 5 december 2022
PARAPHRASING ADELE
holding on
life is
a game for fools
you win some you lose much
and you keep coming back daring
for more
losing
your wholeness your
silent partner your health
feels like your lover scudding off
from you
you feel
nothing at first
before the ache begins
to engulf you in a maelstrom
of bile
for your
loss you blame so
many her him it self
in the end you know that life is
a game
steadfast
patient you hold
on to your core for no
body else can hold on as well
but you
after
the loss after
the grief time to fight back
to cherish to enjoy to wait
dauntless
without
funk without joy
without pain without bliss
you don’t have life the ultimate
gamble//
renato
sunday 04 december 2022
Renato N. Mascardo, 18 june 2021
Dumpster Blues
the leavings of a past
the maw
of this monster
remained wide open was
ready to gulp down the morsels
of my
recall
a chipped coffee
stained mug a squeaky chair
an old vcr that almost
always
worked a
half full or half
empty jar of royal
blue quink ink that my thirsty pens
would miss
among
the debris and
treasures that ended down
the gullet of the thirty yard
beast as
brandon
the young dumpster
handler pushed the rear gate
shut with a clang draped its top with
a net
trapping
all inside for their
final journey to the
the gehenna of things in the
belly
of the metal
behemoth leaving me
with my memories behind and
forlorn//
renato
friday 18 june 2021
Renato N. Mascardo, 15 april 2021
unreeling a tangled skein
may old acquaintance be forgot – or not
you
strike the match tip – suddenly
the hiss
the flash
the whiff
the splendor
captivates – like
remembrances of a love
long gone – until
the flame and now
reach and sear
you//
renato
wednesday 14 april 2021
Renato N. Mascardo, 25 january 2021
if love were a multiple-choice exam
tell me how you prefer this love
like a deep well where light cannot penetrate
where darkness with secrets becomes the norm
like a rivulet rushing down a slope
just to die a rueful death on the dry flat ground below
like an armchair ride that goes nowhere
a stationary rocker lulling you to sleep
tell me how you prefer this love
before you leap across the precipice edge
the instant when there is no return
before you fall head on and free hearted
through a cloud of unknowing
into the maelstrom that is love//
renato
sunday 24 january 2021
Renato N. Mascardo, 21 january 2021
awakening
january 20
hope in hibernal
unrepose finally stirred
from its nightmareland
of carnage and frenzied rapture
of trumpery waking up
to a new day at noon//
renato
20 january 2021
Renato N. Mascardo, 19 january 2021
each little loss
with each little loss
not a portent of total ruin
or a herald of perdition
each minor separation
a note kept in the inbox
too long a reply idling
in the draft box a friendship
going slowly to seed
slow slow
tau proteins accrete
united they stick they
entangle fibrils in the brain
letting go the recollection
of a face perhaps
the remembrance of a smile
slow slow
no need
no urgent need to haste
to bridge the breach so tiny
when you still can hear
the sound of her laugh
savor her humor
marvel at her wit
no need
no urgent need
each day
becomes an inertia
sluggishly entangling grows
a memory peels off
seeds your garden of remembrance
leaving confusion behind
still there is tomorrow
no need to hurry
with each little loss//
renato
monday 18 january 2021 (mlkjr day)
Renato N. Mascardo, 9 january 2021
falling leaves
forty eight
the years since
we parted
you went your way
so did i
between then and
now
things and nothings
happened
and did not
leaves lucent and dark
have touched
our heads and hearts
we’ve seen the glitter
of lights so brief
we’ve felt the touch
of shadows so long
laughs and sobs
our ears have hearkened
our tears have washed
yet we are
you and i
after forty eight
still here//
renato
friday 8 january 2021
Renato N. Mascardo, 3 january 2021
partying in pestilence
at the next reunion
(for jh bacaling)
at the next reunion
when and where ever such
will be/ shall we claret and
champagne with panache
with abandon at the rave
or shall we be deliberate
at the next reunion
quaffing corona the lager
not the bug to such a precogitated
state of divine tipsiness
that we labialize vowels
gutturize sibilants all with a grin
at the next reunion
while we confabulate shared yesterdays
inebriated tonights hungover tomorrows
so we wait for the fete to come
with bated breath and bateless patience
when we can drink our mugs of corona
the lager not the bug undaunted unmasked
at the next reunion
but if
non compos mentis
sets in before then
all bets are off//
renato
saturday 2 january 2021
Renato N. Mascardo, 2 january 2021
in the absence of light
sensory
two pupils rotate
behind their lids
the two dilate
behind their shutters vainly
in the dark
two nostrils expand
inhaling the aroma
of her neck
the nose tip digs into the musk
in the dark
the pliant tongue slides
across and lingers
on each of her moistened lips
its tip basking in her yielding firmness
in the dark
the pupils finally
no longer stray
remain still at last
content in their imaginings
in the dark//
renato
friday 1 january 2021
Renato N. Mascardo, 1 january 2021
reparations to a bounteous mother
stewpot of memories
(for gene baňez)
like pipe
smoke embedded
in my father’s jacket
your tuitive musing of med
school days
wells in
me the scents and
flavors of the past we
all shared/ the anamnesis of
affairs
long gone/
the piquant and
the bitter we choose to
ignore/ savoring instead the
haut-gout
of past
dalliances
of faded friendships of
minionings that persist through time
that have
become
sweeter and sharp
the umami in the
stewpot of memories/ and
now in
this fagged
transactional
age of truthiness and
quid pro quo you may ask/ the price
that we
owe her
the exchange that
is really fair between
her and us/ the tuition-fee that
we paid
against
all that we got
are getting and will get
back from her plus memories so
priceless//
renato
thursday 31 december 2020
Renato N. Mascardo, 24 december 2020
cinquain
nativity in the year of corona
no joy
in this age of
the desolate yet there
is comfort in the isolate
of two//
renato
25 december 2020
Renato N. Mascardo, 21 december 2020
seclusion
passers
in time
many become
few friendships' circle shrinks
diametered and circumferenced
by strife
boredom
and loss until
fellowships in the end
join solitude in reluctance
as one//
renato
sunday 20 december 2020
Renato N. Mascardo, 15 september 2020
A Beautiful Day
belle de jour
the blue
sky touches the
water that covers and
uncovers the sand because of
the wind
it is
a beautiful
day to fly a kite a
glorious morn to build castles in
the sand
the sheer
joy of being
on the beach in childhood
on this perfect day makes the day
endless//
renato
sunday 13 september 2020
Renato N. Mascardo, 27 august 2020
quantum physics of feelings
this space between
nothing
in life is set
instead of finding that
all we feel is digital we
have to
make do
with sentiments
that are more analog
though we try to grip things around
us in
feelings
deemed binary
alas neither zero
nor one do they turn out to be
for when
life deals
us its blows we
end up uncertain like
Schrödinger's cat neither living
nor dead
as we
wait for what the
morrow brings let us dote
on this space between total grief
and joy//
renato
thursday 27 august 2020
Renato N. Mascardo, 17 july 2020
lemon = lemonade
equation
from one
moment to the
next is always a new
equation two sides split by an
equal
symbol
a nullity
resulting from a loss
on one side balanced by a gain
on the
other
the way to be
content in the midst of
losing is trying to find what
is gained//
renato
thursday 16 july 2020
Renato N. Mascardo, 24 june 2020
Poems on Virtues 2
in praise of humor
so Job
was put to the
test this just and blameless
man disaster struck not once not
twice but
countless
times he lost
his wealth loved ones friends and
wealth yet he persevered and he
endured
his faith
unbending in
the midst of his sadness
and despair he battled on day
after
day a
serious man of
virtues of fortitude
gratitude fidelity and
patience
for want
of humor a
risible virtue the
holy man sank into deep
despair
armed with
humor he could
have grasped the absurd
in the morass of affliction
and said
“my body sores are many and really bad
but if yours are worse then you are dead”
renato
wednesday 24 june 2020
Renato N. Mascardo, 18 june 2020
Poems on Virtues 1
if you were a virtue
to be
simple is not
to be a simpleton
simplicity is just being
a grace
simplest
among virtues
it is light lucid clear
a part of all other major
virtues
encased
in occams blade
buried deep in genes and
epigenes it needs nurture to
be learned
unlike
the virtue of
generosity that
is dynamic it is one of
repose
opposed
to the vice of
duplicity it is
natural unselfconscious free
of the
lapse of
self absorption
a virtue of the intellect
of the
moral
of the spirit
to be simple is to
be devoid of complexity
it is
a state
of quiet ease
in just being without
pretense or dissimulation
nothing
else but
being simple
a virtue of
ease that is so exacting to
attain
i ask
if you were a
virtue what will you be
i say you are simplicity
my friend//
renato
wednesday 17 june 2020
(to Will Liao)
Renato N. Mascardo, 29 may 2020
Loneliness of Being One (To Will Liao)
against solitude
sunrise
sunset these mean
nothing to you who slip
in and out of awakening
alone
the pain
comes in waves but
never goes away it
stays to harry and heckle you
alone
in health
in illness and in
dying the most pain is
the thought that you are solitary
alone
yet we
who love you stand
in close proximity
we stay so you know you are not
alone//
renato
thursday 28 may 2020
Renato N. Mascardo, 8 may 2020
remembering the missing & missing the remembered
and then there were five
and a half
those were
the days when life
was now and tomorrow
had nothing to do with the past
we were
we thought
forever the
gang of eight and a half
Jess and Jun Ray and Roy Cris and
Chito
Rudy
and Edgar with
Bobby the great one half
we all had high hopes for life was
so good
Rudy
was first to go
with a burst vessel in
his brain while asleep leaving just
seven
and a
half of the gang
next went Roy felled slowly
by a virus he denied he
had to
very
end followed now
by Edgar the kind who
was taken by Azrael the
crowned one
too soon
too soon they have
left and gone leaving five
and a half of us to wonder
who’s next//
renato
wednesday 6 may 2020
Renato N. Mascardo, 2 may 2020
under siege
while we wait
in this
time of the crown
this deadly devouring
scourge love persists and distancing
unites
renato
saturday 02 may 2020
Renato N. Mascardo, 26 october 2019
A Hymn to Him
rondeau en rondeau
round he is not my little pet
ten will he be but not just yet
I love him like an only child
but his feelings for me are mild
t'was love at first sight when we met
nine years later love has not set
it will remain lest I forget
with time's toll we are reconciled
round he is not
French is his name yet he is nyet
all day asleep and he is all set
just don't expect him to run wild
my puppy and I are just mild
being laid back he has no regret
round he is not//
renato
26 october 2019 11:37am PHL time
Renato N. Mascardo, 13 october 2019
and so it goes
muscae volitantes
floating
pieces of my
memories just beyond
the pale of the eyesight of my
dim mind
in the
morass of my
past the flotsam of what
I thought I knew flit by out of
my reach
still in
blind hope I wait
unwittingly for thoughts
long gone for wit long lost to me
I wait//
renato
13 october 2019
Renato N. Mascardo, 22 february 2019
departures
in this empty room
no chats
day in day out
for days and days the room
stands still almost forlorn until
someone
departs
leaving the rest
still remaining to grieve
and touch before our room goes
empty//
renato
21 february 2019
for Rebecca Toledo and Liwayway Ibasco
Renato N. Mascardo, 1 january 2019
recension
every
decision that
we make we always think
we ought to rethink not leaving
what is well enough
alone//
renato
monday 31 december 2018
Renato N. Mascardo, 1 january 2019
heartstrings
before
poets troped the word
anatomists knew the
aortic and pulmonary
vessels
hollow
cables holding
down the fort we call
our heart//
renato
monday 31 december 2018
Renato N. Mascardo, 19 august 2018
The Choices We Make
RSVP
in her
hilltop home with
seven columns wisdom
had set her table with ample
meat and
wine for
her invited
guests all simple sans nous
most went to the house of folly
instead//
renato
sunday 19 august 2018
Renato N. Mascardo, 14 august 2018
Tongue in Cheek
remembering nitoy (b 21-08-1946)
if there
really is an
afterlife i am still
waiting for a postcard from you
maybe
you were
right after all
but in case you're wrong let
bygones be bygones my email's
unchanged//
renato
tuesday 14 august 2018
Latest comments:
29 april 2024
violetta
Jesteś w niebie:)
29 april 2024
sam53
wg. pisma ... ? ...ale nie na 100
29 april 2024
Weronika
Promieniowanie ciała doskonale czarnego.
28 april 2024
samoA
dziękuję. uśmiech posyłam
27 april 2024
Jaga
Bardzo, widać że dobrze mu z oka patrzy ;)
27 april 2024
On tak dostojnie chodzi, że to czysta przyjemność
27 april 2024
kb
hm tutaj pokazano niejako wprost sprawcę światła.
27 april 2024
sufit, uśmiech i barany... no tak to jest, sama
27 april 2024
"wszystkie modlitwy wymyślili grzesznicy"
27 april 2024
social-real. bardzo fajnie ujęte
26 april 2024
jeśli tylko
właśnie :)
26 april 2024
Adam Pietras (Barry Kant)
Dzięki, Violetta!
29 april 2024
Satish Verma
28 april 2024
Jaga
28 april 2024
Satish Verma
27 april 2024
Jaga
27 april 2024
Satish Verma
26 april 2024
wiesiek
26 april 2024
Satish Verma
25 april 2024
wiesiek
25 april 2024
Satish Verma
24 april 2024
Satish Verma