Latest items:
Renato N. Mascardo, 28 july 2023
Stemming the Flow
nullity
under
the bridge thoughts flow
what should have been held back
to coalesce slide through open
sluice gates
over
the dam down to
splashes of lochan each
spit unconnected each
thought lost
fragments
floundering in
muddied marsh the graveyard
of recalls of water under
the bridge
look at
me my love you
go to leave me helpless
here unable to change places
with you
stay with
me longer love
slow the waters flowing
off my love for nothing compares
2 U//
renato
thursday 27 july 2023
Ref: Prince Nelson (1990): Nothing Compares 2 U. Sang by Sinead Marie Bernadette O’Connor aka Sinead O’Connor aka Magda Davitt aka Shuhada’ Sadaqat (b1966-d2023).
Renato N. Mascardo, 8 march 2023
TO A FRIEND
being my friend at 3am
i can’t
even imagine
please let me try what you
feel right now in this darkest hour
before
the break
of dawn being
so alone so short of
breath half reclined in bed so so
tired but
too tired
to sleep instead
my wheezes keep time with
the wall clock that keeps vigil as
best as
it can
conducting this
cacophony of pain
within and without rising and
falling
my tongue
nails skin eyeballs
nude scalp bowels all clamoring
to be
heard by
an audience
captive and one trying
to sort out and plan what still lies
ahead
too much
to learn way too
many steps that can be
taken detours to hurdle when
will all
this end
initials like
notes chirping around me
her2+ adc dfs pfs
leave me
alone
quiet my heart
the war proceeds recedes
the siege continues but i’m far from
alone
but in
this deep lagoon
of ennui in this the
coal black hour of the night please let
me live
an hour
or two of quiet
desperation so that i can
savor all the more another
new day//
renato
wednesday 8 march 2023
Renato N. Mascardo, 2 march 2023
OF SATELLITES, TRAVELS, & FRIENDS
occasional sputniks
fellow
traveler each
one of us was is and will
be from birth to our last gasp
whether
we choose
to or not the
elisions we build merge
and consume parts of us with
pleasure
and pain
companions in
hurt and healing love and
hate being around even when
ignored
off and
on together
we have become casual
sputniks yet we persist or at
least
one of
us who reaches out
to keep the sputnik flame
burning til our discrete journeys
dissolve//
renato
wednesday 1 mar 2023
Renato N. Mascardo, 5 december 2022
PARAPHRASING ADELE
holding on
life is
a game for fools
you win some you lose much
and you keep coming back daring
for more
losing
your wholeness your
silent partner your health
feels like your lover scudding off
from you
you feel
nothing at first
before the ache begins
to engulf you in a maelstrom
of bile
for your
loss you blame so
many her him it self
in the end you know that life is
a game
steadfast
patient you hold
on to your core for no
body else can hold on as well
but you
after
the loss after
the grief time to fight back
to cherish to enjoy to wait
dauntless
without
funk without joy
without pain without bliss
you don’t have life the ultimate
gamble//
renato
sunday 04 december 2022
Renato N. Mascardo, 18 june 2021
Dumpster Blues
the leavings of a past
the maw
of this monster
remained wide open was
ready to gulp down the morsels
of my
recall
a chipped coffee
stained mug a squeaky chair
an old vcr that almost
always
worked a
half full or half
empty jar of royal
blue quink ink that my thirsty pens
would miss
among
the debris and
treasures that ended down
the gullet of the thirty yard
beast as
brandon
the young dumpster
handler pushed the rear gate
shut with a clang draped its top with
a net
trapping
all inside for their
final journey to the
the gehenna of things in the
belly
of the metal
behemoth leaving me
with my memories behind and
forlorn//
renato
friday 18 june 2021
Renato N. Mascardo, 15 april 2021
unreeling a tangled skein
may old acquaintance be forgot – or not
you
strike the match tip – suddenly
the hiss
the flash
the whiff
the splendor
captivates – like
remembrances of a love
long gone – until
the flame and now
reach and sear
you//
renato
wednesday 14 april 2021
Renato N. Mascardo, 25 january 2021
if love were a multiple-choice exam
tell me how you prefer this love
like a deep well where light cannot penetrate
where darkness with secrets becomes the norm
like a rivulet rushing down a slope
just to die a rueful death on the dry flat ground below
like an armchair ride that goes nowhere
a stationary rocker lulling you to sleep
tell me how you prefer this love
before you leap across the precipice edge
the instant when there is no return
before you fall head on and free hearted
through a cloud of unknowing
into the maelstrom that is love//
renato
sunday 24 january 2021
Renato N. Mascardo, 21 january 2021
awakening
january 20
hope in hibernal
unrepose finally stirred
from its nightmareland
of carnage and frenzied rapture
of trumpery waking up
to a new day at noon//
renato
20 january 2021
Renato N. Mascardo, 19 january 2021
each little loss
with each little loss
not a portent of total ruin
or a herald of perdition
each minor separation
a note kept in the inbox
too long a reply idling
in the draft box a friendship
going slowly to seed
slow slow
tau proteins accrete
united they stick they
entangle fibrils in the brain
letting go the recollection
of a face perhaps
the remembrance of a smile
slow slow
no need
no urgent need to haste
to bridge the breach so tiny
when you still can hear
the sound of her laugh
savor her humor
marvel at her wit
no need
no urgent need
each day
becomes an inertia
sluggishly entangling grows
a memory peels off
seeds your garden of remembrance
leaving confusion behind
still there is tomorrow
no need to hurry
with each little loss//
renato
monday 18 january 2021 (mlkjr day)
Renato N. Mascardo, 9 january 2021
falling leaves
forty eight
the years since
we parted
you went your way
so did i
between then and
now
things and nothings
happened
and did not
leaves lucent and dark
have touched
our heads and hearts
we’ve seen the glitter
of lights so brief
we’ve felt the touch
of shadows so long
laughs and sobs
our ears have hearkened
our tears have washed
yet we are
you and i
after forty eight
still here//
renato
friday 8 january 2021
Renato N. Mascardo, 3 january 2021
partying in pestilence
at the next reunion
(for jh bacaling)
at the next reunion
when and where ever such
will be/ shall we claret and
champagne with panache
with abandon at the rave
or shall we be deliberate
at the next reunion
quaffing corona the lager
not the bug to such a precogitated
state of divine tipsiness
that we labialize vowels
gutturize sibilants all with a grin
at the next reunion
while we confabulate shared yesterdays
inebriated tonights hungover tomorrows
so we wait for the fete to come
with bated breath and bateless patience
when we can drink our mugs of corona
the lager not the bug undaunted unmasked
at the next reunion
but if
non compos mentis
sets in before then
all bets are off//
renato
saturday 2 january 2021
Renato N. Mascardo, 2 january 2021
in the absence of light
sensory
two pupils rotate
behind their lids
the two dilate
behind their shutters vainly
in the dark
two nostrils expand
inhaling the aroma
of her neck
the nose tip digs into the musk
in the dark
the pliant tongue slides
across and lingers
on each of her moistened lips
its tip basking in her yielding firmness
in the dark
the pupils finally
no longer stray
remain still at last
content in their imaginings
in the dark//
renato
friday 1 january 2021
Renato N. Mascardo, 1 january 2021
reparations to a bounteous mother
stewpot of memories
(for gene baňez)
like pipe
smoke embedded
in my father’s jacket
your tuitive musing of med
school days
wells in
me the scents and
flavors of the past we
all shared/ the anamnesis of
affairs
long gone/
the piquant and
the bitter we choose to
ignore/ savoring instead the
haut-gout
of past
dalliances
of faded friendships of
minionings that persist through time
that have
become
sweeter and sharp
the umami in the
stewpot of memories/ and
now in
this fagged
transactional
age of truthiness and
quid pro quo you may ask/ the price
that we
owe her
the exchange that
is really fair between
her and us/ the tuition-fee that
we paid
against
all that we got
are getting and will get
back from her plus memories so
priceless//
renato
thursday 31 december 2020
Renato N. Mascardo, 24 december 2020
cinquain
nativity in the year of corona
no joy
in this age of
the desolate yet there
is comfort in the isolate
of two//
renato
25 december 2020
Renato N. Mascardo, 21 december 2020
seclusion
passers
in time
many become
few friendships' circle shrinks
diametered and circumferenced
by strife
boredom
and loss until
fellowships in the end
join solitude in reluctance
as one//
renato
sunday 20 december 2020
Renato N. Mascardo, 15 september 2020
A Beautiful Day
belle de jour
the blue
sky touches the
water that covers and
uncovers the sand because of
the wind
it is
a beautiful
day to fly a kite a
glorious morn to build castles in
the sand
the sheer
joy of being
on the beach in childhood
on this perfect day makes the day
endless//
renato
sunday 13 september 2020
Renato N. Mascardo, 27 august 2020
quantum physics of feelings
this space between
nothing
in life is set
instead of finding that
all we feel is digital we
have to
make do
with sentiments
that are more analog
though we try to grip things around
us in
feelings
deemed binary
alas neither zero
nor one do they turn out to be
for when
life deals
us its blows we
end up uncertain like
Schrödinger's cat neither living
nor dead
as we
wait for what the
morrow brings let us dote
on this space between total grief
and joy//
renato
thursday 27 august 2020
Renato N. Mascardo, 17 july 2020
lemon = lemonade
equation
from one
moment to the
next is always a new
equation two sides split by an
equal
symbol
a nullity
resulting from a loss
on one side balanced by a gain
on the
other
the way to be
content in the midst of
losing is trying to find what
is gained//
renato
thursday 16 july 2020
Renato N. Mascardo, 24 june 2020
Poems on Virtues 2
in praise of humor
so Job
was put to the
test this just and blameless
man disaster struck not once not
twice but
countless
times he lost
his wealth loved ones friends and
wealth yet he persevered and he
endured
his faith
unbending in
the midst of his sadness
and despair he battled on day
after
day a
serious man of
virtues of fortitude
gratitude fidelity and
patience
for want
of humor a
risible virtue the
holy man sank into deep
despair
armed with
humor he could
have grasped the absurd
in the morass of affliction
and said
“my body sores are many and really bad
but if yours are worse then you are dead”
renato
wednesday 24 june 2020
Renato N. Mascardo, 18 june 2020
Poems on Virtues 1
if you were a virtue
to be
simple is not
to be a simpleton
simplicity is just being
a grace
simplest
among virtues
it is light lucid clear
a part of all other major
virtues
encased
in occams blade
buried deep in genes and
epigenes it needs nurture to
be learned
unlike
the virtue of
generosity that
is dynamic it is one of
repose
opposed
to the vice of
duplicity it is
natural unselfconscious free
of the
lapse of
self absorption
a virtue of the intellect
of the
moral
of the spirit
to be simple is to
be devoid of complexity
it is
a state
of quiet ease
in just being without
pretense or dissimulation
nothing
else but
being simple
a virtue of
ease that is so exacting to
attain
i ask
if you were a
virtue what will you be
i say you are simplicity
my friend//
renato
wednesday 17 june 2020
(to Will Liao)
Renato N. Mascardo, 29 may 2020
Loneliness of Being One (To Will Liao)
against solitude
sunrise
sunset these mean
nothing to you who slip
in and out of awakening
alone
the pain
comes in waves but
never goes away it
stays to harry and heckle you
alone
in health
in illness and in
dying the most pain is
the thought that you are solitary
alone
yet we
who love you stand
in close proximity
we stay so you know you are not
alone//
renato
thursday 28 may 2020
Renato N. Mascardo, 8 may 2020
remembering the missing & missing the remembered
and then there were five
and a half
those were
the days when life
was now and tomorrow
had nothing to do with the past
we were
we thought
forever the
gang of eight and a half
Jess and Jun Ray and Roy Cris and
Chito
Rudy
and Edgar with
Bobby the great one half
we all had high hopes for life was
so good
Rudy
was first to go
with a burst vessel in
his brain while asleep leaving just
seven
and a
half of the gang
next went Roy felled slowly
by a virus he denied he
had to
very
end followed now
by Edgar the kind who
was taken by Azrael the
crowned one
too soon
too soon they have
left and gone leaving five
and a half of us to wonder
who’s next//
renato
wednesday 6 may 2020
Renato N. Mascardo, 2 may 2020
under siege
while we wait
in this
time of the crown
this deadly devouring
scourge love persists and distancing
unites
renato
saturday 02 may 2020
Renato N. Mascardo, 26 october 2019
A Hymn to Him
rondeau en rondeau
round he is not my little pet
ten will he be but not just yet
I love him like an only child
but his feelings for me are mild
t'was love at first sight when we met
nine years later love has not set
it will remain lest I forget
with time's toll we are reconciled
round he is not
French is his name yet he is nyet
all day asleep and he is all set
just don't expect him to run wild
my puppy and I are just mild
being laid back he has no regret
round he is not//
renato
26 october 2019 11:37am PHL time
Renato N. Mascardo, 13 october 2019
and so it goes
muscae volitantes
floating
pieces of my
memories just beyond
the pale of the eyesight of my
dim mind
in the
morass of my
past the flotsam of what
I thought I knew flit by out of
my reach
still in
blind hope I wait
unwittingly for thoughts
long gone for wit long lost to me
I wait//
renato
13 october 2019
Renato N. Mascardo, 22 february 2019
departures
in this empty room
no chats
day in day out
for days and days the room
stands still almost forlorn until
someone
departs
leaving the rest
still remaining to grieve
and touch before our room goes
empty//
renato
21 february 2019
for Rebecca Toledo and Liwayway Ibasco
Renato N. Mascardo, 1 january 2019
recension
every
decision that
we make we always think
we ought to rethink not leaving
what is well enough
alone//
renato
monday 31 december 2018
Renato N. Mascardo, 1 january 2019
heartstrings
before
poets troped the word
anatomists knew the
aortic and pulmonary
vessels
hollow
cables holding
down the fort we call
our heart//
renato
monday 31 december 2018
Renato N. Mascardo, 19 august 2018
The Choices We Make
RSVP
in her
hilltop home with
seven columns wisdom
had set her table with ample
meat and
wine for
her invited
guests all simple sans nous
most went to the house of folly
instead//
renato
sunday 19 august 2018
Renato N. Mascardo, 14 august 2018
Tongue in Cheek
remembering nitoy (b 21-08-1946)
if there
really is an
afterlife i am still
waiting for a postcard from you
maybe
you were
right after all
but in case you're wrong let
bygones be bygones my email's
unchanged//
renato
tuesday 14 august 2018
Renato N. Mascardo, 11 august 2018
Elijah's Lament
hearth cake and water
pursued
by ahab
and jezebel prophet
elijah ended up in the
desert
thirsty
hungry tired and
so unlike job he asked
his lord to end it all under
the broom
tree with
a noosed rope but
gabe the angel smacked him with its
wing and
said you
are a man not
a mayfly elijah
you need to climb horeb so eat
and drink
grumbling
he complained what
am i a horse that drinks
water i prefer ale or wine
so gabe
smacked him
again and he
ate the hearth cakes drank the
water and slept under the shrub
until
gabe smacked
him a third time
with its trumpet this time
shouting wake up sluggard and go
to the
mountain
already for
the lord has things to do
other than waiting for you there
as a
burning
bush and so
the prophet went to the
mountain because the mountain won't come to the
prophet//
renato
friday 10 august 2018
Renato N. Mascardo, 4 august 2018
exodus and le boulanger
first red ribbon
each dawn
bar Sabbath day
flakelets fell upon the
ground bewildered we asked manna
manna
meaning
what what without
knowing we could eat them
til one baked bread eaten on the
sabbath//
renato
saturday 4 august 2018
Renato N. Mascardo, 3 august 2018
Poem of Being
habagat
ah the
southwest wind brings
thunderclaps and raindrops
playing staccato notes keenly
upon
the roof
it's been awhile
since i have savored the
vapors of alimuom before
the rain//
renato
3 august 2018
Renato N. Mascardo, 29 july 2018
just being
po
strange it
sounds at first to
the ears after all the
years away back home again this
stranger
in a
strange land where age
at long last bestows a
monosyllabled title on
the old
when prose
is riddled with
honorific after
honorific it takes some getting
used to//
renato
sunday 29 july 2018
Renato N. Mascardo, 30 may 2018
alternate landing
linguae ignes
legions
upon legions
of tongues of fire flew out
from the spirit in search of the
chosen
on that
Pentecost day
most found their marks in the
city of david except for
a squad
that lost
its bearings and
entered a roomful of
cooks in caesarea perching
on the
crowns of
bewildered men
these fiery tongues flamed
out and so the shish kebab
was born//
renato
tuesday 29 may 2018
Renato N. Mascardo, 19 february 2018
Schroedinger's Cat
yes and no
asking
whether she loves
me or not she merely
smiles in her quantum way leaving me
hanging//
renato
sunday 18 february 2018
Renato N. Mascardo, 14 february 2018
Asymmetry
asymmetry
love when
less than requited
bears bitterness in
its wake//
renato
wednesday 14 february 2018
Renato N. Mascardo, 20 november 2017
lure of the dance
terpsichore
the muse
tapped Anetand
you to share with us your
joy on the floor void now of a
bel-esprit//
renato
monday 20 november 2017
Renato N. Mascardo, 21 october 2017
holy haptics
simeon
enough
enough oh lord
this babe in my arms has
heard my beating heart full of joy i can now
depart
renato
saturday 21 october 2017
Renato N. Mascardo, 21 october 2017
trickster time has the last laugh
in time
has it
been that long since
our minds touched
has it
been ages since
we spoke in whispers
has it
been such a long
while since we looked at each other
and smiled
like oil
time smoothens the
the jagged edges of
the memories that we shared in
the past
but now
that you are no
longer here i wait for
memories of life without you
to smoothen
in time//
renato
friday 20 october 2017
Renato N. Mascardo, 2 october 2017
carnage field
carnage field
the hate
paddocked in your
deranged mind you let loose
dead dying maimed lay on the ground
but why//
renato
monday 2 october 2017
Renato N. Mascardo, 26 september 2017
a parthian shot at an ex
non sequitur
please do
not when we kiss
my lips against your lips
sweet dreams call the act our late night
suction
just 'cause
you're ticklish it
still sucks//
renato
tuesday 26 september 2017
Renato N. Mascardo, 25 september 2017
lacrimae rerum
lacrimae rerum
let it
peep between the
lashes of your lid for
the briefest of moments but don't
hold it
back but
let it let it
brim over the edge down
the precipice that is your now
pale cheek
taste it
as it slides through
your trembling parted lips taste
the bitter saltiness of your
deep loss
let it
herald the start
the endless cascade of
grief after the numb denial
has gone
he was
you are
let what you shed
link you//
renato
monday 25 september 2017
Renato N. Mascardo, 24 september 2017
in names we trust
in names we trust
there's a street in new jersey named after
her you know/ lara looked it up googled
it really/ a pusill piece of unimagined
fact/ keilana drive in wayne new jersey
it's hawaiian for adored one
I wonder what nickname nitoy would
have thought of/ his first apo/ he loved names
ending in oy and ay/ I came to be forever an atoy
he was always nitoy far back as I know/will number one
granddaughter be kay/ short a long y I wonder
it would have been nice if he thought of a pet
name it would have been fun//
renato
sunday 24 september 2017
Renato N. Mascardo, 23 september 2017
love is
love is
between
two hearts love is
like learning to drive there
shall be scrapes dents and near misses
before
now and
along the way
but newness never ends
each find a wonder a skill
to love
the other
more//
renato
saturday 23 september 2017
(based on the movie learning to drive c2014)
Renato N. Mascardo, 23 september 2017
first twilight
first twilight
two years
have passed since last
we met the yew leaves dance
with the breeze you found me again
this fall//
renato
friday 22 september 2017
Renato N. Mascardo, 23 september 2017
coywolf
coywolf
there it
stood longer limbed
than the coyote bitch
that bore it gray furred standing still
alone.
renato
thursday 21 september 2017
Renato N. Mascardo, 4 april 2017
katie's birthday
lauriat
hot tea in our cups
chopsticks click as tales rush forth
together we laugh.
renato
04-01-2017
Renato N. Mascardo, 26 december 2016
Sliver
sliver
i keep
hearing it the
sliver of an echo
something about your loving me
deeply
it cuts.
renato
monday 26 december 2016
Renato N. Mascardo, 13 october 2016
Nuthatch
nuthatch
unlike
the chickadee
and titmouse that peck at
the seeds spread on the garden ground
instead
you choose
to scamper up
and down side to side the
gnarled trunk of the beech tree seeking
in the
many nooks and
pits the seeds that were
left for tiny you and your mate
white breast
grey back
and dark blue wings
are all i see before
you fly with your hoard drunkenly
away//
renato
thursday 13 october 2016
Renato N. Mascardo, 10 june 2016
new day
new day
with each new day i
meet you my dear old friend i
fall in love again//
renato
thursday 09 june 2016
Renato N. Mascardo, 15 may 2016
sunny breezy day
sunday afternoon
robin
is strutting in
the backyard back and forth
round and round like a high-strung
cadet
blue jay
mourning dove and
blue jay are eating grain on
the grass side by side uncaring
sharing
a soft
piano piece sneaks
out of the stereo on
this day it's good to be back home
again//
renato
sunday 15 may 2016
Renato N. Mascardo, 21 april 2016
left overs
piece by
piece love's cherished
moments go leaving just
the hurts stark remnants of love that
ended
renato
19 april 2016
Renato N. Mascardo, 12 april 2016
oscine cantata
quiet
of daybreak torn
by a lone sparrow's trill
a matutinal song longing for
its mate
renato
12 april 2016
Renato N. Mascardo, 31 march 2016
gone
sipping
my cup of hot
sake i no longer
taste its sweetness
gone like your smile
just before you left.
renato
wednesday 30 march 2016
Renato N. Mascardo, 29 march 2016
backyard feeding time
little sparrow first
to peck on scattered seeds soon
sent off by big jay
renato
tuesday 29 march 2016
Renato N. Mascardo, 28 march 2016
payola
lent ends
easter begins
church pews overflow with
occasional faithful alms giving
bribers
renato
sunday 27 march 2016
Renato N. Mascardo, 27 march 2016
spring
the cherry blossoms
are almost out will be here
soon but when will you
renato
saturday 26 march 2016
Renato N. Mascardo, 21 march 2016
a passerine sacrifice
it's the
sparrow that pecks
first at the newly strewn
seeds a lowly forerunner of
the flock
renato
monday 21 march 2016
Renato N. Mascardo, 20 march 2016
cinquain
dark sentinel
like an
apparition
a blackbird stands on the
stone rampart immobile silent
at dusk
renato
saturday 19 march 2016
Renato N. Mascardo, 19 march 2016
crepusculum
the scarlet macaw climbing
up to its perch settles down
the hillside hues dim
sounds around dwindle away
dusk blankets its cage
renato
friday 18 march 2016
Renato N. Mascardo, 17 march 2016
vegetarian festivity
afternoon repast
my app
predicted rain
in forty minutes yet
the afternoon sun still bathed the
busy
backyard
the birdseeds on
the ground were almost gone
feasted on by the sparrows wrens
mourning
dove and the four
cardinals until the
chipmunk Chico frightened the birds
away
only
to be chased from
the scattered grains by the
belligerent squirrel Isco
who had
to leave
when Gerry the
shaggy groundhog scooted
in and stayed to savor slowly
kernels
yellow
black and brown on
the abandoned grass and
ground proving once more that size did
matter//
renato
thursday 17 march 2016
Renato N. Mascardo, 16 march 2016
esmeralda
hierarchy
first the
sparrow then the
wren gliding down to peck
the birdseeds hiding between blades
of grass
followed
by a pair of
cardinals which were mates
bright red and light brown scratching the
dry ground
next came
the large and blue
cardinal mates hogging
the sunflower seeds scattered on
the grass
and then
they flew up all
in a rush and the dove
no longer mourning landed and
feasted//
renato
wednesday 16 march 2016
Renato N. Mascardo, 15 march 2016
birdseeds on the grass
birdseeds on the grass
when cardinals fly away
when sparrows begin to leave
the red cardinals
the chirping sparrows scatter
dusk is almost here
renato
tuesday 15 march 2016
Renato N. Mascardo, 15 march 2016
bits and pieces
bits and pieces
i see
your smile on the
face of a stranger who
greets me in peace with a handshake
at mass
you rushed
by the end of
the lane between the stands
at the store/ i followed to find
it was
not you/
the voice on the
phone sounded so like you
until the caller said her name
not yours/
i see
i hear i feel
scattered bits and pieces
of you around me now that you
are gone//
renato
monday 14 march 2016
Renato N. Mascardo, 6 january 2015
life of quiet desperation
gone by in time
like a thieving nutmeg that spoils and spreads
the eldering crawls unentreatably in spurts
the buon fresco of the past up in the ceiling of my mind
its plaster having brittled and flaked
has let loose the painted fractals of what i was
down a swart and endless void
the tense pluriperfect no longer holds for me
even the simple past begins to go
i hear the soundless brittle brattle of fragments of what had been
falling slowly and fast away
leaving the remnant of my self
alone in the stark wilderness of my mind//
renato
friday 02 january 2015
Renato N. Mascardo, 28 december 2014
After the Wane
affair
at the start titillation was what we shared
in the end drudgery was all we felt
and in the midst we missed the meaning
of the experience we now call an affair
beyond the pale of the experience we built
pointed palisades and deep furrows between us two
but time dulls the sharpened stakes of ire
and shallows the deep-mined furrows of hurt
until we come to accept that absent of
a relationship we can still choose to relate//
renato
saturday 27 december 2014
Renato N. Mascardo, 25 december 2014
on goings and comings
in penduluming back
like autumn
leaves in free fall
the years have pirouetted down and
away/ the hegira was mainly mine to keep
the hurt colleted and at bay/
after all these years
i find
in penduluming
back that you still
are steadfast and true/ it was
i who have changed in the exodus of
my heart/ the hurt is gone
i am thankful you
are not//
renato
wednesday 24 december 2014
Renato N. Mascardo, 9 december 2014
a tedious turn of a loved one's mind
turn of the screw
when you
catch a lucid
moment we share it with
such delight then you let it go
turning the screw that foils
your mind to break
my heart//
renato
monday 08 december 2014
Renato N. Mascardo, 1 december 2014
just before you extend your claws
purr
you purr
in pleasure and
in need; in bed you do
it with aplomb; i need to ask:
are you pure hominid
or are you part
felid?
renato
sunday 30 november 2014
Renato N. Mascardo, 23 november 2014
Exodus V
haiku
at 2 in the morn
a thought: without you my words
mere bricks without straw.
renato
sunday 23 november 2014
Renato N. Mascardo, 23 november 2014
dwindles
dwindles
so slowly
regressively they go
the dwining and the dwindling
instantaneous
no longer
there is a pause
longer and longer
before retrieving
a name an action a creation
the neurons and dendrites
they hobble they trip and almost fall
suspended until
they finally clutch a will-o-wisp of an idea
in desperation and relief
the nows and tomorrows
are replaced
tossed away by
the distant yesterdays
the simpler pasts
looking forward matters no longer
when the cataract of old memories
inundates
going to seed is so much easier
oblivion is such a comfort
ah
time to change my Exelon patch//
renato
saturday 22 november 2014
Renato N. Mascardo, 22 january 2014
lines written on her birth date
remembering again
among the dwindling dendrites and dying neurons
where stored memories ineluctably ooze out and
dissolve into the nothingness of growing old
one thought clings steadfastly to the ruins of the past
a face a date a sense of friendship remain
untouched by the apoptotic forgetting in the old
bright flashing embers within the dying smokeless flames//
renato
on 22 january 2014
Renato N. Mascardo, 15 december 2013
remembering
orb
such is the slippery surface of this hueless globe
cold to the touch so smooth and hard
its solidity hides the dark emptiness within
palpable yet ungraspable
this ball of void remains and cannot be flung away
after all these years since you went
and left this orb of solid emptiness
to vex the cockles of my heart//
renato
sunday 15 december 2013
(in memoriam: E.T.A.)
Renato N. Mascardo, 13 november 2013
autumn
like yellow butterflies
turning over tip to twig
leaves are cartwheeling down
towards winter //
renato
wednesday 14 november 2013
Renato N. Mascardo, 11 june 2013
skirting isolation
in the act of knowing
separated for most of the day
disjoined for a tad less than forever
we meet always as complete strangers
memories of the past of what passed between us
make each meeting less awkward and just as new
making the joining as adventurous each time
we never can get used to each other we hope we never will
every time we come together to fuse your solitude with mine
to ward off the isolation that leads us to crave and repine
trying to really know what we can only imagine
when separated in our individual cocoons of singleness
you and i meet anew in the act of knowing//
renato
sunday 09 june 2013
Renato N. Mascardo, 5 june 2013
missing a muse
Mnemosyne’s child
the long downpour that
never ends obscures my view
the foggy greyness
the misty coldness of the day
remain since you went away
in lieu of your memory-haunting face
the shade of emptiness now fills the space
mnemon upon mnemon loosens
untangles and drops like one yellowed leaf
after another in the spiraling apoptosis of fall
words no longer linger once you left
like memory’s child with a new toy
words do not stick together
so slippery they can not intertwist
leaving me in the void alone and bereft
with every loss there must be a gain
without your company
your warm nearness being gone
one feels the loss that is so obvious
it is so much harder to find the gain//
renato
tuesday 04 june 2013
Renato N. Mascardo, 22 december 2012
Complexities and complications
touches
they fondle
intermittently
so soft
so subtle
so sharp
like the palm of a babe
like an early prickly heat
seesawing
caressing
stinging
a pleasure
a hurt
a burn
your words//
renato
friday 21 december 2012
Renato N. Mascardo, 2 december 2012
another of life's little ironies
choices
and so my dearest dear
will we two burn our boats
and on this island you deem love
shall you and I remain
forever free
or stranded?
renato
saturday 01 december 2012
Renato N. Mascardo, 1 december 2012
Image
a chance meeting after all these years
shyly we shook hands
suspended awkwardly in the moment
of recollecting
what was
what could have been and
what did not
your hand went limp and
the moment faded//
renato
saturday 01 december 2012
Renato N. Mascardo, 25 october 2012
Autumn
the rains have finally stopped
their leafy casualties all strewn
down on the cold wet ground
yellowed crimsoned and browned
left abandoned and unburied
lanced by the blades of grass underneath
the fallen foliage lies cadaverized
casual victims of abscission and time//
renato
saturday 20 october 2012
Renato N. Mascardo, 2 august 2012
seasons
lunes
1
the whirring of fan
air slips off
heat remains summer
2
yellow leaves twirling
to the ground
goodbye goodbye fall
3
so silent and light
it deafens
it blinds first snowfall
4
blades of grass so sharp
on their guard
raring to grow spring
renato
monday 30 july 2012
Renato N. Mascardo, 20 july 2012
paradox
degrees of separation
a gap exists when our lips meet
there is a divide when we hold hands
in the throes of love something slips between us
apart we hunger for union
together we can only be more than one
in love there has to be a separation
without it there can be none//
renato
thursday 19 july 2012
Renato N. Mascardo, 9 june 2012
thumb-nail sketch
vignette
in that unguarded moment
i caught a glimpse of the hidden hurt
you’ve hoarded in your broken heart
an intrusion i regret
for which i’m sorry//
renato
tuesday 29 may 2012
Renato N. Mascardo, 26 may 2012
assuaging a craving
the words of paul rewired
leavenless is
this bread with which we
celebrate his passing and his promise
untainted by the yeast of malice and ill-intent
formed free of the foam and froth of troubled waters
let you and i break
this bread of truth and sincerity//
renato
sunday 20 may 2012
(1 Cor 5:6b-8)
Renato N. Mascardo, 18 may 2012
degrees of solitude
company
encaged by the glare of the late
afternoon sun on the windowpanes
of the reading-room you and i
sit intimately apart sharing in
the silence that surrounds
two communers enjoying
the clutter of common
memories feeling free
unconfined by the slowly
sinking sun//
renato
thursday 17 may 2012
Renato N. Mascardo, 11 may 2012
disremembering
best forgotten
the awkward unfinished
first kiss
the now perfunctory
embrace
hands that hold but
no longer touch
the intimate exchanges
turned syncopated
the strophe of a romance
twirling back into
the antistrophe of reason
moments best forgotten
moments remaining
seared in one’s mind//
renato
wednesday 02 may 2012
Renato N. Mascardo, 26 april 2012
particle physics of the heart
in the act of choosing
like the cosmos above and around us
the past between us is studded with
memorables that sparkle so plain to see
luminous points separated by a vaster void
the cold dark matter of what could have been
but was not to be
the now is what we are left with
everlasting and finite
the past between us is done
never completely gone
in the act of choosing to remember
you and I have Hobson’s choice
to pick the cold quintessence of what was not
or the piercing feelings that we once shared//
renato
tuesday 24 april 2012
Renato N. Mascardo, 11 april 2012
marking time mutually
event horizon
in time
incompatibilities are dissolving
recasting into complementarities
we two
are learning to speak
the idiom of compromise
two sets
of cogs wheeling
rather than grating
anointed
by the yielding feelings between us
through the years
finally
we hold hands together
poised precariously in this
event horizon of our lives
facing the darkness of the unknown
holding fast unfazed by the tumult of the past
cherishing
this moment between us while
it lasts//
renato
sunday 08 april 2012
Renato N. Mascardo, 18 march 2012
the reason for writing
postcard
i could have phoned i know but i did not
i could have skyped or texted but decided not
instead these lines in my slanting cursive
halter the skelter of this headlong day and
for a moment remind that i remember you
and will exist not between two hard covers
but just between me and you//
renato
sunday 18
march 2012
Renato N. Mascardo, 3 march 2012
in the company of aloneness
ambivalence
its beak tapping
tentatively against the window pane
the cardinal with feathers crimsoned
by the winter
breaks the hissing silence in my study
giving pause
to the still sociality of my solitude and
reminding
me that you are not here//
renato
saturday 03 march 2012
Renato N. Mascardo, 14 february 2012
valentine
wearing off
no longer indelible
the ink stains of my present
still wet they start to fade
out of the tapestry
of my mind
grasping
at my lived particulars
shingles loosened by tau proteins
fragments of my recent past
sliding over the edge into oblivion
i watch them dwindle down
leaving me and my muddled smile
i see your face
my heart feels a passing warmth
my eyes view a stranger still
my lips decline to say goodbye as
you watch the slow unlinking of
my heart and mind//
renato
tuesday 14 february 2012
Renato N. Mascardo, 25 january 2012
sounds of silent ironies
mishaps and misalliances
one
unburied
the hurt
must have been overmuch that
you had to hang yourself
fresheting
your pain
inundated with guilt the ones
you left behind
two
beyond the besotted
muddle of intimacies and ethanol
after the flaying Santa Ana winds
of your passion falter no
longer propelling the windmills
of your errant heart
when the slow grindstones
of your mind finally catch up
in the coldness and clarity
of the break of dawn
you find yourself alone
free
finally
renato
tuesday 24 january 2012
Latest comments:
29 april 2024
violetta
Jesteś w niebie:)
29 april 2024
sam53
wg. pisma ... ? ...ale nie na 100
29 april 2024
Weronika
Promieniowanie ciała doskonale czarnego.
28 april 2024
samoA
dziękuję. uśmiech posyłam
27 april 2024
Jaga
Bardzo, widać że dobrze mu z oka patrzy ;)
27 april 2024
On tak dostojnie chodzi, że to czysta przyjemność
27 april 2024
kb
hm tutaj pokazano niejako wprost sprawcę światła.
27 april 2024
sufit, uśmiech i barany... no tak to jest, sama
27 april 2024
"wszystkie modlitwy wymyślili grzesznicy"
27 april 2024
social-real. bardzo fajnie ujęte
26 april 2024
jeśli tylko
właśnie :)
26 april 2024
Adam Pietras (Barry Kant)
Dzięki, Violetta!
29 april 2024
Satish Verma
28 april 2024
Jaga
28 april 2024
Satish Verma
27 april 2024
Jaga
27 april 2024
Satish Verma
26 april 2024
wiesiek
26 april 2024
Satish Verma
25 april 2024
wiesiek
25 april 2024
Satish Verma
24 april 2024
Satish Verma