Poetry

'I'm never going back...'
These are the words I said
To my most trusted friend
He enever knew that it was a lie
I never knew it was a lie...
You broke my heart
So many times in the past
And yet
I keep going back to you
Running at full force
Only to be hurt again...
I hurt myself because of you
I couldn't speak without crying
I couldn't look at you without my heart breaking
I avoided everyone
For they all reminded me of you
They knew something was wrong
But they never bothered to ask
I was always wondering to myself:
'How can someone be so cruel?'
'How can someone hurt this much
Without meaning to?'
I couldn't stand it
Everytime my head hit my pillow
The tears would fall
Soaking me to the bone
The hurt
And the lies
I wrote them all down
But it didn't help...
So I turned to the knife...
And watched the blood spill
'Oh God...'
I thought
What have I done?
What have YOU done?
Why are you doing this to me?
Why am I doing this to me?
I let myself become this monster
Only with your help
But then...
I realized
That you're not worth it
At least that's what I thought...
But little did I know
That you're worth all of it
For I have gone back to you
To your lies
Eventually this will kill me
But hopefully...
You would never let that happen
Because
Hopefully...
You will love me like I love you
So much that it hurts everyday

Written: 11/14/11