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	Zoe Christo
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Zoe Christo, 25 october 2011

Polly.

Her.
Hey, I'm Zoe.
Let me let you in on a little secret of mine
I love this girl and I'll give her my all
But I can't help thinking I'm a niece love struck fool
I won't take you back to how it all started
'Cos trust me, the story gets boring of how reality has parted
From my wishful mind
As I'm always fantasizing of ways to find
To get this girl fixed by my side
And imagining the day I make this girl my life
It seems so cliché, how I'm chasing this romantic dream
If you haven't guessed it already, I'm gay
So this shit gets harder to believe.
Not for me anyway, 'cos it's my normality
But take that our the equation
As it is the 21st Century
But trying saying that to Polly.
This beautiful green eyes princess
She's sweet as sin
And she's on everyone's wish list.
I know, you know, they all know beside her,
That we have this connection,
So symbiotically close, it fucking hurts.
I know, you know, they all know beside her,
This beautiful mess is perfection
The kind of shit that's unheard
But try saying that to her.
You know,
How the most purest, thrilling, enthralling and exciting
Component to life is not on the other side of Earth
It's not that miracle of child birth
And watching a vagina stretch 10cms in girth
Nor is it,
the mysteries of space and physics
All those crazy equations,
And headfuck theories that go with it.
But that love you feel for another Human.
That burning desire to spend each and every minute with them.
Okay, so you get I love this girl
I think no one can come between us
But, we're not together.
You've kindly given me a minute or two to explain.
I'm gonna ask for 3 or 4
And maybe a few more
Just to say...
'Cos you see I need some advice
To see things in a clearer light
'Cos my wisdom's quite shyte
And I assume you're all nice
And wanna help with my strife.
So, I'm gonna be polite
And ask you to hear me out, Alright?
I've persisted and struggled since 2007.
But all feelings were clouded back then
In drugs and make-believe heaven
She knows she's my wonderland I escape to
That feeling I have when I'm with her
Can make me withstand any bullshit fool
You know she gives me messages so blaintently clear
Like making out with
And all that shit she whispers in my ear
She's a deep soul,
And craves for someone near
There's all these fears she hides
Haunting shadows she leaves out of sight.
I'm the first one she calls when she's feeling sad
'Cos she knows no one can love her as I can.
But I don't know what to do
Believe it or not I can get fit girls on call.
Yet, they don't compare to this,
Beauty I put on a pedestal..
You can tell I'm not bored of this chase
So desperate to feel her warmth again,
in that warm, soft, tender embrace.
Now listen to this,
This is the bit that doesn't make sense;
We're travelling Europe in August, right?
And she wishes for me to return home every night.
I'm the first one she texts everyday,
And I'm the one she calls,
When she finishes work and gets on her way.
We talk for hours and share our lives.
There's never a dull minute,
But is she all a disguise?
She says we're best friends and she knows how I feel
Constantly squelling.
“I'm straight! ” She reveals.
Funny how she's done more with women than I ever have.
Listen to this claim:
She's telling me her new friend's straight.
But she's been in a relationship with a women for 4 years.
I don't think Polly's definition of straight is very clear.
She'll turn around and say to me,
“It's hard..” for her “I might be bi”
But she'll rewind,
Change her mind,
Go back and only fuck guys.
I hope you've been listening 'till now,
'Cos this is when I'm gonna spin the shit around.
“We're only best friends..”
She says she's the promiscuous sort
Bi-sexually greedy,
She claims it's not her fault.
She states it's not intended to hurt me.
She's not gonna change,
'Cos flirty's the way its gotta be.
Is she denying natural urges?
Or is she greedy for girl boy splurges?
She probably wants to keep me around
And not lose me as a friend
Because I forget to mention,
She strives for love and affection
Not to mention,
She's an absolute whore for attention.
She knows I'm a sucker
And I'll go to beyond the end
For such a diamond gem.
To seek the magic in her crystal,
Glistening in all it's physical,
Lighting up my entire night,
With every shining side
She mirrors onto my monotonous life
..Basically,
She rocks my world right.
So, what do I do?
Be her friend and continue to wait.
Or, turn around and leave,
Before the love turns to hate.
What if my naïvety is getting the better of me?
You reckon this is all in my head,
And that we're never gonna be?
Is there a chance in hell
And should I continue to fend.
Fuck.
Or s this gonna be,
Just another block dead end.
This girl has me perplexed,
Like I'm a teenager again.
Constantly in my head.
There's thoughts of her going round
Like I don't have enough trouble already,
Bringing myself down from the clouds.
Some people have said I've got it bad.
I'm thinking fuck this!
I don't wanna be saying this,
same shit next year, wanting to feel her kiss.
Wondering if I coulda, woulda, shoulda had this.
Thinking what if, but, maybe bullshit.
Slip my chances and miss.
I've been waiting too fucking long!
I don't think she's ready.
Do I hold on?
Tell her to keep it secrete,
Then go steady?
Should I wait 'till we're in Prague,
Do a romantic number,
Reach into her heart.
Sweep her off her feet and squeeze her tight.
How about getting her drunk one Saturday,
And make love to her that night?
I tell ya, I've got some brilliant mates
That say I'm worth more,
than her next best date.
That I'm worth more,
Than someone's 2nd place.
How do I open her mind,
To see that best mates, on dates,
Sharing a pillow case,
Is the best fucking way.
When will she realise,
I won't wait 'till I'm 28.
How do I get her before it's too late?
Why should I sit back and rely on fate?
I know my emotions and feelings are fucking bait!
How much longer can I go back and fourth in this fucking debate? !
How do I get her to trust this won't be a mistake? !
Fuck it..
Can one of you call her and tell her it'll be the best fucking chance she'll ever take.

number of comments: 0 | rating: 4 | detail

Zoe Christo, 23 october 2011

I Want You. I Want This. I Want Us. Let Us Be.

That energy that sparks
between us under sheets
In the evening we really see
What lies between
Me and you in this moment
Can you believe
Can this last forever
Or does it disappear in the dark
Do you hold that feeling with you
Or continue the day without thinking through
The compounding feelings
Which are excitingly brand new
I know this is true
But hiding away is something I do
As you don't allow a second to stew
Drifting away to escape your blue
But where do you go and what do you do
I suppose I'm scared of what I'll lose
So I keep quiet in hopes to pursue
Another lust that's easier to control
I run far to not be sold
To a lust that's invigorating and never old
Trying to not reminiscence on that hold
You had and still have upon me
But I dare not show this fear
Or reveal it in your ear
That all I want is you here
To hold you intimately near
I don't know how to not scare you
You would run a mile if you heard this
You're not ready for intensity of the risk
I'm worried that this could be a chance I'll miss
I don't want to let you go
I need to find away to keep you close
I want nothing but to lift you up and make sure you're not alone
I want us to express this connection and grow
I don't want to think of this in sorrow
And you tell me not to get attached
That maybe one day we can make this symbiotic pact
To share more of our lives with each other
I know the longer we wait the sweeter it'll taste
I don't want to leave it in the hands of fate
I want to love you again from night through to day
I want to hold you my arms
But I can never expose this
For this will be the catalyst to drive you away from this
But do you not wonder of our first touch
That moment our lips met
When it was just us
Did you feel that instantaneous rush
Do you recall how warm and tender we lay
Not having a worry about the following day
How we lay in arms all night in a daze
In a calming bliss, That moment our lips first reached
confused in the moment of what has been breached
Our friendship has been crossed
In a cherished occasion I will never dismiss
Our intimacy grew
And when we'll go out my eyes were still locked on you
I can't get my head around this
Are you within reach or out of bounds
Was this too fast too soon
Did I act on impulse that was far too new
But I realised I wanted you
And nothing could stop me reaching out to you
Wanting to show you I'll do things beyond me for you
and what hurts the most is knowing you won't return
to my arms in the way we first met
To ignite that fire that was more thrilling than the most expensive bet
Things have changed and the passion gets harder to hide
but I feel to love you out loud
But you you dismiss my passionate cries
but that's been denied from me because of words from the crowd
I hope you return to me now
Please don't ponder and make this more complicated than it has to be
Just understand the simplicity in this moment with me
It doesn't have to be anything more in moments we keep
Between me and you and these love making sheets
Don't worry if you feel you're being swept off your feet
Lets just go and see if it reaches
those maximum highs that one only dreams of
Perhaps I'm too open and willing to give my heart away
You know I'm amazing but I won't be hanging on for you for days
I can't keep still, I'm fast pacing, I'm not promising I'll stay
I know this spontaneously crazy
Don't think of what you're jumping into
Just be confident of what you feel is true
'Cos for real, you know I lift you from monsoons
Just be aware you could be missing a diamond here
While you're too busy searching for stones.

Darling let me tell you, take my hand and give this a chance,
It's the only way you'll get to know just how special this road's destination will go.
And believe me everything you're feeling now will be enhanced.

number of comments: 4 | rating: 11 | detail

Zoe Christo, 23 october 2011

Lusting, Loving & Living In That Moment With You

So feel that energy
that's within us amongst this evergreen
Forget what can't be foreseen
Right now its just you and me
In this moment with such charm
Such engaging energy with no harm
Those sights we shared together
Mementos occasions treasured forever
I can't think of a better way
To have such pleasure and joy again
But to be within this madness
The true out of body and mind test
to be away with a stranger
And feel perfectly calm and no danger
It's a mysterious thought
Something so exquisite it can never be bought
Sharing minds of similar thoughts
Something so pure which can never be sought
Don't mind my words
As they're only an expression
Of what my mind is filled with
Pure unholy obsession

number of comments: 0 | rating: 5 | detail

Zoe Christo, 23 october 2011

Anticipating Her Calls

Anticipating her calls
When the call for break dawns
Waiting for a reply
Wondering what's on her mind
Can never lose sight
Cos she's such a blinding light
Tonight, She hardly knows how I feel
As she's never keeping still
I just want to say I love her
But I can never find the words
I won't put the stars above her
That's why this fucking hurts
I try my best to show her
But I some times choke
I try my best to know her
No longer that whore for coke
It rips me, tears me and breaks me
If she lips me here it'll make me
Wishful thoughts are a taunt
More than that body she flaunts
Some times I feel like giving up
Cos it ain't real me ever feeling up
That softness she attains
But I still put myself through pain
Not for illness, sickness nor death
Or romantic bullshit you expect
Just to stop me becoming a mess
Cos living with out her is the test
As no happiness will be in my world
That's why I work hard
To stay sane by this girl.

number of comments: 2 | rating: 6 | detail

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Other poems: Harrow, Parted, Give Me Love, Wretched Women, All I Am Not, No Longer, Obsession, All I Want Is Love, Mind's Roundabout., This Won't Go Away, There's A Twist In My Heart - Another Beginning, Polly., I Want You. I Want This. I Want Us. Let Us Be., Lusting, Loving & Living In That Moment With You, Anticipating Her Calls,

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Polly.

I Want You. I Want This. I Want Us. Let Us Be.

Lusting, Loving & Living In That Moment With You

Anticipating Her Calls

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