Diary

..recently I've been thinking a lot of things and I can't help but be depressed.. like why I am living??? I can't see any reason why I should still exist.. besides my family I dont think there's anyone who cares to me.. yes I have friends but I can't feel they appreciate me like they only need me because they want someone to be there with them,, like they don't like to be alone.. my best friend from childhood rarely says hi. we grew apart,, we dont even know what each other's favorite color.. yet she still claims I'm her best friend.. I have random friends,,they are all nice but I can't feel that sense of belongingness.. I'm so empty.. I'm struggling with my job,, everyone knows my situation but no one dare to check me every now and then.. often,, death is the only thing I see to escape this sadness.. I'm in a marrying age and still single while all my friends are married,, or if not yet married, they have kids.. and I don't have nobody..