Zmiana sposobu prezentacji
Two friends are trying to decide which grocery store they should go to , to do their weekly food shopping.
One say to the other, " I think we should shop at a whole foods store,be cause their meat come from animals that were raised with out the use of steroids ."
Other guy asks his friend,"when you eat steroid free meat,can you see or taste a difference in the quality of the meat?"
His friend relied,''No, but last night at dinner time, my steroid raised chicken meat did his best Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonation and threaten to break my face if I try to cut him up with my fork and knife. "
Written by Stephen J. Vattimo
Mar 24, 2014
You ever come a cross one of those dog lovers that has a screw lose in their head?
You know the people that buy designer outfits for their dogs ,and force their pet to wear them.
The people who buy their dog's meals from the most expensive restaurants in town.
The people who think dogs should be granted the right to vote for politicians.
Well around Christmas time I heard on the radio that the newest thing dog owners can do is take their dog to visit Doggy Santa. Some one actually make money from dressing their dog up in a Santa outfit, so Dog owner can bring their dogs to visit Doggy Santa to tell him what they want to receive for Christmas.
I heard that this is so popular that the line for a visit with Doggy Santa raped around a mall.
So I could imagine a conversation taking place between a dog lover with a screw loose in their head and their misbehaving dog,while waiting in line to visit Doggy Santa.
Dog owner," Fluffy, Remember not to try to hump Doggy Santa while He is listing to another dog's Christmas list.
Be cause if you do, Doggy Santa won't stuff your stocking with squeaky toys
(...)
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One day I was feeling so ill while I was at work,I thought I might be having a heart attack. My whole abdominal area had sever craps,it felt like a horse kicked me and someone was stabbing me in the stomach at the same time. While having pain in my chest, followed with sweating.
After work I went to a Patient First Medical Clinic to have some tests done to find out what was wrong with me. Well after running up a 120.00 medical bill ,which included EKG , X-Rays,and oxygen monitoring.
The result of the tests? I just need to pay someone 0.50 to pull my finger so I could fart.
Written by Stephen J. Vattimo
May 14, 2014
An Artist goes to Long Island New York for an Opening Night Art Show Party.
He first check into his hotel. As he is going through the entrance to the hotel lobby, the Door Man say," Sir you need to get rid of some of that baggage your carrying."
The Artist looks down at his very small suitcase in his hand then look back at the Door Man with a puzzled look on his face and asks," what are you talking about? I 'm only caring this very small suitcase?"
The Door Man replies," Sir it took three days for your caboose to catch up with your engine."
Written by Stephen J.Vattimo
April 29 2014
I went to the doctor's the other day to have an operation set up to fix a lower hernia I have acquired from heavy lifting at work. The surgeon told me that during the procedure he might have to cut a nerve in my leg if it causes a problems when He puts in the mesh to repair the hernia. He tells me by cutting this nerve I might loose some feeling on the right side of my marble bag, nothing important.
So I tell the surgeon I would if possible like for him not to take or leave anything in my body that is not crucial for the success of my operation procedure.
So I tell the surgeon ( knowing how mentally distracted everyone is today) ," During the Operation ,please don't leave your chewing gum,or surgical tools inside me!"
"But it's OK if you leave your cellphone in side me, as long as it's on vibration mode and you are a popular Guy!! "
Written by Stephen J. Vattimo
May 3,2014
