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Anorexia is a very serious issue. It is not something that can be changed overnight. It is not a switch that can be flipped on an off. It is a SERIOUS problem in this world that is not being fixed. It is a condition that is only frowned upon because it is "unhealthy," "low," and "demented." Well guess what? It's a freaking way of life for some of us. It's a way to cope with all of this shit in this world. Just like self-harm, it can be a way to silently tell the world that they're not the only ones who can hurt us. Any form of self-harm is a serious matter that cannot be taken lightly. You wouldn't tell a blind man to just see would you? You wouldn't tell a lame man to just walk. You wouldn't tell a deaf man to just hear. You wouldn't tell someone with cancer to just get over it. You wouldn't freaking tell a dying man to just live. So why the hell would you tell someone with an eating disorder to just eat. Or someone who has a cutting addiction to just stop cutting. Or someone who is an alcoholic to just stop drinking. Or someone who is a drug addict to just stop doing drugs. There is so much more to all of these things that what the world see. These people are HURTING and this is their way of coping. Of silently voicing their pain. They are silently screaming for someone to help them. But because people nowadays judge and enjoy pointing out everyone's flaws just to make themselves feel better, people (...)
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Listen to the sound,Of a heart that's breaking down.Ever so slowly it's being destroyed,By all of those evil unlucky boys.Now listen to the sound of a broken heart,Slowly but surely being pulled apart.By all of those men who think they're so fly,But all the really do is make her cry.Listen to the sound of the girl that's breaking down,Torturing herself without a sound.She thinks she'd be better off dead,Because of the voices she hears in her head.Now listen to the sound of a girl who finally sees hope,Because she's finally found a man who can help her cope.She is no longer on her own,Because love is all this guy has shown.Listen to the sound a heart being fixed,Being put back together without being tricked.With him she's learned to truly smile,And their love will not last for just a while.Now listen to the sound of a girl who's alive,Finally happy without tears in her eyes.She's learned to love and she's learned to care,And she's learned that for her he'll always be there.
The words she says,
Pierce me deep.
She doesn't hear me,
Even if I weep.
She claims she's not saying,
My sisters better than me.
But no matter how hard I try,
She will never see.
The girl that's hidden,
Deep inside.
So scared to come out,
She always hides.
No one believes in me,
So slowly I die.
Barely lives,
Drowning in lies.
"Why should I try?"
Is what I think.
No one gives help,
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The feeling you get when you run your hand over your scars,
Wanting to open them again.
The feeling you get when people look down upon you,
Because you'll never be anything to them.
The feeling you get when your mother speaks,
And basically tells you you're worthless.
The feeling you get when the words echo in your head,
You're nothing, hopeless, useless.
The feeling you get when the pain never ends,
And you just want to die.
The feeling you get when you wear that smile,
When all you want to do is cry.
The feeling you get when you're tired of living,
The same lie every day.
The feeling you get when you're done with life,
Because to you, there's no reason to stay.
The feeling you get when you're just done,
Thinking of ways to end it all.
The feeling you get when you wake up,
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Open the book,
And turn the page.
You'll see what I,
Went through at each age.
Years one through ten,
I was perfect as can be.
But after eleven,
Things changed as you will see.
As I grew older,
My pain became clear.
My eyes were always shining,
Because they were holding back the tears.
I started getting into,
Things I know I shouldn't have.
Then I saw,
How it made my friends sad.
A few began,
To see the scars.
Not knowing the pain,
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So they set up a date,
After school the next day.
And he made her promise,
That only he would pay.
He planned to take her,
To a movie the next night.
But first stop somewhere,
For a quick bite.
When they finished talking,
He couldn't help but smile.
Because he's wanted to be with her,
For a very long while.
He was so excited,
He couldn't believe his mind.
Finally he thought,
This girl can be mine.
His dream was finally,
Coming true.
And in her mind she thought,
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Kill me now
Kill me dead
Leave the carpet
Stained blood red
Ram the knife
Through my heart
Tear it to pieces
Tear me apart
Everyday
Is full of lies
You hear me now
And seem surprised
You're the one
Who broke me down
And instead of smiling
I always frown
So just kill me now
And leave me be
And then you'll see
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Congratulations you got your wish,
Congratulations i turned into this.
I gave up my knife just for you,
But now that is no longer true.
I promised you that never again would i do this,
But I take that back as I drag the knife across my wrist.
I put out my wrist and let the blood flow down,
Killing myself softly and without a tear.
I do not shed a single tear,
As i live out my friends biggest fear.
In the morning you'll find me dead,
Because of everything you said.
At home I always,
Feel alone.
No one there,
Just me on my own.
Always crying,
Myself to sleep.
Drowning in pain,
That is always deep.
The smile I wear,
Is only a shell.
Behind the mask,
I'm living in hell.
My parents sure as hell,
Don't care.
Like it matters,
Because they're never there.
My friends they care,
But they'll never see.
The dying girl,
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I am hurting deeply inside,
Running from fears that I cannot hide.
I remember the things that made me go far,
Far enough to give myself a scar.
I remember the blood and I remember the knife,
I remember trying to end my life.
Although I don't do those things anymore,
The memories have left me sore.
The urge to relapse can be strong,
And they make my nights very long.
The things of the past make me regret,
And all my memories I'd rather forget.
I have decided not to hate
I'll just leave my life to fate.
I paint on the smile so that my face beams,
As I try to figure out my dreams.
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