13 lutego 2012

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Rhiannon
Rhiannon

Beneath you, I break


I break
And I shatter
No more can I take
But to you it doesn’t matter
I shiver
And I cry
But not a sliver
Of care is in your eye
I run
And I hide
You think it’s fun
Tearing me apart inside
I stand
And I fight
But you stop my hand
I cry no, this isn’t right.
You take
And you hurt
Can you feel me break?
No, don’t take off my shirt
You pounce
And you laugh
I can’t find an ounce
Of forgiveness on your behalf
You force
And you strangle
Do you feel remorse?
As away I try to wrangle?
You smile
And you sigh
I lay cold for a while
Staring at the empty sky.
I break
And I shatter
No more can I take
But to you, it doesn’t matter.
 
 

Jock Engelman
13 lutego 2012 o 23:01

omfg i absolutely love how you have repeated the first four lines and placed them at the end too... i find your form of structuring to be one of the best i have seen so far on this network... i really like your use of colour and imagry with the "not even a silver, of care in your eye" absolutely freaking brilliant... i look forward to reading more of your future works.. i hope you enjoy mine :)

zgłoś

Rhiannon
13 lutego 2012 o 23:12

I'm really glad you like it, and thank you so much for reading.

zgłoś

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