Zmiana sposobu prezentacji
Wow it's been along time since I've been on here, alot has happen to me. I re-read one of the diary entree I wrote on here that was in 2013 I didn't have a job. But now I can say that I have a job. I've been at my job for a year now. Crazy looking back on this. I also got my license which I never thought I would get because I was scared to drive but I got it. too many good things has happen to me as well as bad things but I'm trying not to dwell on the bad things. because I know god has a bigger plans enstore for me.
Try not to dwell on the bad things because things do happen for a reason even if at the moment you cant see it.
I haven't been writing poetry in a long time which I'm going to try to start back. I do write almost everyday in a journal. But I miss writing poetry. So hopefully I can get my groove back.
I hope everybody out there on on here is doing great. I hope this year will be great for you and me.
The spirit of depression is a tenacious spirit It's has a tenacious grip on meNever leaving me aloneThis spirit of depression consumes my bodyWeaken my soul ,weaken the good in me. Leave me thou demon spirit of depressionHow it laughs in my faceIt's say look around, look in at you.I didn't just consume your body. I am you. You are me, you are the demon spirit of depression.You gave me the power to be you entirely.Unlike the tenacious demon spirit I am.You gave upNow I own you, you live in depression, you breathe depression.You breathe me inI have tenacious grip on youAnd I'm not letting you goI, the demon spirit of depression am a tenacious spiritI'll never leave you alone
The words I don't like you runs it's way though my brain down to my heart.Tears starts to fall because the words that were said hurt more then anything.I keep hearing these words to the point one might think I should be use to this but I'm not. When will the day come when the words I don't like you turn into I like you or even I love you.To not have a reason to not like me but you just don't like me.One wouldn't know what to say or know how to take that.But to expect you to be ok deep inside. Think about it, why would you be ok.My esteem once again has been attackEach day the more I think about it the more ugly I feelWhy was I cursed with this plague of ugliness what did I do to deserve this.The words I don't like you make me more ugly each time I hear it
> All under one sun is a world called earth.
> This place called earth is filled with so much pain and suffering.
> All under one sun is a world.
> Where the sun can shine bright.
> But it's not bright enough to heal people from the loneliness they feel.
> All under one sun are different people looking up at the sun wondering when's life ever gonna get better.
> All under one sun is a world where I don't want to be.
> Only thing in this world that is the same fir everybody is the sun and sky.
> All under one sun is a world where life has a different meaning to all the people down below under the one sun.
> All under one sun is a world that I know that has been nothing but unfair to me.
> All under one sun I sit and wonder how that one sun can shine so bright over a world filled with so much hurt and pain
> All under one sun is a world I don't want to be apart of.
> All under one sun is a place I have to call life.
>
I am struggling with life. I need a job, like I want to do something with my life. Why does life seem to be so hard. I can't seem to find what I need to survive in the present lifetime. Life sometimes trult sucks.
Has anybody ever felt like that nobody likes them. Like no matter what you do to get people to notice you, they just don't. Doesn't that make you feel crummy inside. It doesn't feel good at all. Music is a great tool to get your mind off of things, but it doesn't always cure the emptiness you feel inside. I just want to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way. I'm not that young either, so when people say thing like when you're in high school it doesn't matter because in college it will get better. It doesn't get that much better. Like it may get a little better but not that much. I don't know maybe I'm still not good enough. What do you do ?
The feeling of loneliness seems to be her only friend. It always seems to follow her. Even in a room full of people the feeling of loneliness seems to be right there besides her.The feeling of loneliness seems to be her only friend, her only true friend. It always seems to know when to show up. It never leaves her even when she wants it to.The feeling of loneliness is maybe her one and only friend, but it is also her stalker. To her the feeling of loneliness never goes away. Even when she's trying to be happy.The feeling of loneliness always finds a way to come around and scare happiness away. The feeling of loneliness seems to get jealous. When love tries to come into her life. Loneliness tells love that she isn't worth it. So love may find her but it never stays.The feeling of loneliness may be her only friend, but it's also her enemy.
It surprises her that he still loves her, after all she put him through. But even still, he still loves her. Since she surprised that he still loves her, though she hurt him. He knows it will never work because she never really understood how much he loved her. It will never work untill she knows who she is and how to learn to love herself. Untill she gets that it starts with her loving herself. Only then will she and him will be allowed to be together.
But she never thought it could work from the very beginning, because of who she is. Deep down she knew sooner or later he would leave, because he wouldn't be able to handle her being the way she was.
But he still loves her even though she hurt him.
It surprises her that he still lives her, after all she put him through. But still he loves her. She will never fully understand how much he loves her untill she changes how she feels about herself.
