Diary

I have had to make myself unavailable to certain people.  I HATE it. I cannot stand control issues or manipulation.  Why at my grown up age do I feel like a prisoner in my own mind.  I will never stop caring for these people, no one can control me.  It is just temporary in nature.  There all kinds of love....emotional, physical and mental.  I am very angry right now as this should not have happened.  I will come back and re-do, what has been left undone.  I feel like I am a 5 year old and my father is telling me "NO".  But my father is so messed up mentally, he doesn't have the right to tell me anything.  Hello to Louis, whom still is in my heart and head and to Goldie-We never even barely started.  I care for you both very much.  At times things, can overwhelm you...........I am overwhelmed.