Latest items:
Chyna Jade, 10 july 2012
Swimming
River of thoughts
The nightmares I fought
The eyes they have caught
You...
Only you...
Chyna Jade, 4 february 2012
Who am I?
You.) You are not me an I not you
So why do you try so hard to do what I do
Me.) Because I am nobody and I am clear
Please let me be someone who is not filled with fear
You.) Why should I daughter leave my dark cover?
My shadow at which you hover
Me.) I need you please I beg of thee
I was never enough to just be me
You.) Away with you and your empty way
To feel wanted with love each day
Me.) I know I don’t deserve another chance
But won’t you give me one glance
You.) Why? It would only be a waste
Leaving my poor should with a bad taste
Me.) I’m sorry I now know why
You wished me away for alone I must die
Chyna Jade, 4 february 2012
Pluto that is I
Here comes the evil that presides in me
Here comes the thought shouting in my mind
I feel the pressure of quilt ready to be
This angry attack on all mankind
Pluto the planet that is I
Controls all souls that pass life
A reminder to the good you always defy
The one who has taken his beautiful wife
For you animal lover yet murder of it
Deserve the worst of quilt yet to be seen
But knock on wood and here becomes a pit
To hell and this never ending dream
For a life you took in ease
Sir this sin you have done
Is the one I take your soul in please
So think again before night turns to sun
Because the life you took is your own
With karma sitting in the back seat
And hatred in your heart tuned into stone
Still the poor animal purrs at your feet
Chyna Jade, 4 february 2012
My Room
I like when the blood becomes a puddle
When I am on the ground in a huddle
I like when I get dizzy and tired
Or when I’m so excited I’m wired
So the hurt you give is nice
And a smile would reach my face of ice
Warmed by your expression and frozen by lack of help
Cutting me again not hearing me yelp
A giggle escapes my blue lips
And something in your mind skips
You’ve got it don’t you torturer of one
That numbness has kissed my body and I am done
So whip again for I do not care
I will smile so wide in this dead stare
On this cold concrete floor I lay
In the room plain like my soul empty and gray
To see you locking that painted red door
As I count days and you keep score
Nails bleed as I scratch in another line
As my mind goes to turn on the vacancy sign
Time for my happy place until then
Waiting for you tomorrow to enter again
Now repetition it my only friend
That I have to depend
Did you put me here on purpose Sweet
Or am I blamed that I can’t stand on my feet
And so grief stricken I wish for death
Cursing this in and out movement of breath
No I don’t think I can blame
That once smiling child in that picture frame
You don’t want the world to see your mistake
So you create a reason so fake
My Room (continued)
What is the use? Just kill the child
Me! Your daughters’ emotions are mild
Give it up it is over don’t you know
Still you open that door and make blood flow
Red as the door and my skin turns as the walls
And I swear I hear God’s gracing calls
I match pale gray as my skin turns
And pain grips my stomach to make it churn
Does this story ever finish?
Or this sadness ever diminish
No I would say not
For I speak in my poems where I will rot
So sad but true my precious reader
To take this song but I can’t be the leader
Because the game of tag I can’t win
That is why I end this poem in a sin
I must tell you that you will never read this
For I can’t take away your ignorant bliss
So I waste my time writing on this thin sheet
Waiting for him to come in and beat
The living hell out of my limbs
As the light around my eyes dim
And close my eyes happily without asking why
But wait why do you cry? My poor pain giver
With tears so big it caused a rapid river
Now I don’t know at all nor understand
Was it my fault all along I do so demand
How sad I caused you pain by my poem ink
As I slip deeper in to a blood pool I sink
Torturer I am so sorry it is true
What now? Is it to late! What can I do?
Wait! Don’t leave me I get it
Why you beat Sweet. Why you hi
Chyna Jade, 31 january 2012
Insignificant
Screaming pain I ask for someone to care
It has no meaning if your voice is weak from being Insignificant
That you have to stand and raise your hand
For people to notice you
And for your microscopic brain to comprehend
You are Insignificant
My fear of stepping out of my house
Then treading in my rut
Like I’m happy but it is not true
For I am Insignificant
Because behind the smile I ache
For something meaningful and important to do
But I am Insignificant
Yet no matter how hard I try my bad luck will kill me
And I will be another headstone that nobody knew
And I laugh at my own weakness so pathetic
I make myself sick with rage
Still I am Insignificant
I wish my life were over so I can disengage
To you I am happy and to me you are
Chyna Jade, 31 january 2012
Imagine
Do you feel the wind blow?
Or notice sound follows where you go
Does the rain make you cry?
And dance to the trees that might die
Because you might not see them again
I frown for the parents who take away child’s grin
How do you breathe when life is gone?
But your heart beats on
Are you confused by a simple idea said?
Are there things you’ve wished you read?
Just imagine the things learned by skies
Not hearing sadness in “Whys”
Simple answers to mind numbing thought
With everyone adding to the mixing pot
How great would it be to see the world at its best
Appreciating everything and not worrying about the rest
Chyna Jade, 31 january 2012
Crunching Sounds
Pull the covers over my head
So I don’t have to hear what you said
Quiet now I am asleep
Under this world too deep
Off in dreamland filled with wonder
But what is that I hear? Thunder
No it is your voice that keeps on yelling
And still I don’t really care what you’re telling
Yet you shake me awake to say to me
That I am worthless and I need to see
Why do you ruin my sweet, sweet dream?
And take a notch down on my self-esteem
Does it bring you pleasure
As you take my life for your treasure
No I am not worth that much
But what I am is the bones under your feet that go crunch
Crunch…
Crunch…
Crunch…
There I go
To where I dare not know
Chyna Jade, 24 january 2012
Fighting with Myself
(Point one) I listen to all the hateful things you say
But I just laugh and giggle where I lay
Do you hate how I ignore you?
How I don’t give a damn what you do
(Point two) You daughter of a great teacher
Smiling in the mirror with a grimaced feature
Yes I talk to you my own reflection of pain
How I hate you but you laugh to drive me insane
(Point one) I will enjoy the sweet death
As I kill all happiness with our last breath
But wonder not why I kill
Because I only do it so we won’t feel
The life is not meant to be taken away
But hate me still with all your might today
(Point two) I guess I should thank you with ease
But only your anger it would appease
So no I despise myself no matter what
To be shamed, hated, forever in this rut
A path I follow on and on
Until we die and I am gone
Chyna Jade, 24 january 2012
Shadow Lands
In the shadow lands of my sorrows
I weep for there is no tomorrow
Tears fall down to the ashen ground
Too petal soft to make a sound
But I weep not for you
Or all the things I once knew
But I weep for lost hope
For this land and I do not cope
Still my shadow lands are a barren escape
And I run until sweat soaks my nape
My neck, my body quivered with this joy
As I fell into the arms of my childhood toys
Hope at last arise with this never lasting moment
And into the wind my soul was sent
Chyna Jade, 24 january 2012
Left by a Cliff Hanger
Hollow heart beats in an empty chest
Eyes black close with lack of rest
Dreams cause even less sleep
And I would cry but I cannot weep
I watch every sun raise
Moving throughout the day in a haze
Friends speak sweet words
But my ears have never heard
Kindness spoken by thee
For I want not to be me
I want anger
I want to be put in danger
But this is my empty hope
Put away along with this rope
That once gave me cause
From this edge I hang at the devils jaws
Suicide I thought would be the end
But you save me my ignorant friend
You are my rope my safety net
Saving me was in your minds set
I scream and shout for you to let go
But I hide emotions afraid to show
For as much as I hate you to all of the above
A friend you are and I do so love
Grasping my hand it burns
Because death is the only thing that I earn
Chyna Jade, 27 december 2011
Behind Smiles
You see a happy little child
With my face a look too mild
Listen to the meaning of my words
Does the tone shock you like stomping herds
And now my black eyes create fear
Blackness so wonderful and clear
You think where could be my sweet baby
And all the smiles I used to see
Behind that what just a body
No interest of life to get a hobby
How well I’ve hidden from you
Although I laugh doesn’t mean happiness is true
Yet you go back to ignoring my pain
Gone away for a giggle without a strain
Chyna Jade, 27 december 2011
Holds Me Like A Child
This is the sound of my heart
Beating for a simple change
This is the guilt from the start
That was never out of range
For it never leaves my aching side
Holding on like a mothers child
Fearful behind me grabbing my dress it will hide
Feeling horrible to call it mine I am defiled
So what can this come to be?
This guilt holding me tight
This child I can always see
Awake or trying to sleep in the night
I will do nothing for it grows
Maturing into an adult
As the more pain causes to show
Sadly this will be my entire fault
Chyna Jade, 27 december 2011
Blasphemy
There is a nervous bleeding in my heart
I try so hard to tell you but don’t know where to start
I so badly need to blurt this insanity out
So my mind is free to wonder without doubt
And all I want from you is your attention
But for me to say, to even mention
Blasphemy you would cry out loud
And lookers would become a crowd
So why speak to cause only stress
To make my temples sore to which I caress
Headaches and heartaches all in the same day
With all the thought coming to my mind in dismay
Chyna Jade, 24 december 2011
Buzzing
Flies buzz in my aching ear
Reminding me of something I need to hear
I swat them not wanting to know
In front of my friends… Normal is hard to show
Shadows above me head like ink clouds
Covering, suffocating in black shrouds
My friends watch as I fight back air
Not seeing my darkness it is so unfair
Shame I feel for being strange
And I leave quickly out of range
So my voice they won’t hear a sound
As I scream my shadows into the ground
I hate them as I watch them crowd again
Never leaving me for I can’t win
They envelope my dragging heart
Stabbing already knowing where to start
Chyna Jade, 24 december 2011
Blisters by a Puppeteer
It hurts this pain I can’t explain
But what do I do I can’t tell you
Names I can’t use for it causes shame
Yet I need to because I write so true
As strings dance me away from thee
Believe me friend I’ll love you until the end
Even if we are both filled with misery
Oh how I took advantage, Oh how I did depend
Unfair I know as I followed wherever you go
As a dog with a leash connected to she
But if not how would I ever know
About love with no strings above
Like a puppet giving blisters gift
As others command in push and shove
Yet you friend pain you gladly lift
Although you have the same deal
But with out anyone to lean on so blisters can heal
I’m just so glad I have you to love
Chyna Jade, 24 december 2011
Alone in a Crowded place
This house is an empty box
Yet people crown my space
And all around me are locks
To be put on my mouth and face
I’m amazed I can breathe
In this confined thing I call a home
As I wish for a fast and painful death
Because that is all that can reach me under my dome
Please I beg come swiftly to drag me away
So air can touch my lips so sweet I gasp
For I can not bare to live another day
And I would cream but my voice is only a rasp
Torture I ask thee to stop hurting me
For the hammer in my hands will kill
The walls that won’t let me be
What I need, of what is real.
Chyna Jade, 21 december 2011
Consumed
I am infatuated by this pestilent world.....
Unsettled by its grotesque growth....
Yet so soundly in love with its rashness
to destroy towns and monuments
when not ceasing to see the true beauty among her.....
We build upon her fertile body and we consume her skin.....
Tearing and raping this perfection we make
'Necessities'
out of......
Do you now shed a tear for her....
The angels do....
Raining upon her body to help her stay strong......
We consume what we preserve and we preserve what we consume.....
So tell me this.....
'Who decides what? '
Is it a decision so tenacious that we dare not speak it!
Or be it the turmoil within ones moral that is broken every time her
body is beaten and set a flame......
Chyna Jade, 21 december 2011
Along side the Moon
Its soft yellow glow
Lights the travelers way
Weary and not knowing where to go
Yet here is Gods night-light
So the adventure can show
It s great path night or day
Without stopping the flow
Of his feet following the flight
This flight of freedom he does not know
Never loosing his way
For the round moon gives direction
Adventure he keeps in mind
With the love of inspection
To have his heart beat with the wind
As he takes in earths perfection
All alike and all different kind
For he walks alongside the moon so he can lend
Because a poet by all means he is
Seeing all and writing with words
Because ha can not dismiss
This complicated rhyme scheme
And the beauty of poetry’s bliss
As this poem becomes heard
By using unique sayings that become like a kiss
So soft as the moon light gleams
Latest comments:
11 may 2024
violetta
To co te kozy dziobią i dlaczego? Co na to aktywiści?
10 may 2024
Jaga
Podobne miałam odczucia, kiedy zobaczyłam wyspę.
10 may 2024
Weronika
Nie wyrzucaj. Niech to będzie memento dla naszej
10 may 2024
W tym sęk, że tam gdzie one się pasą nie
10 may 2024
Wyjadają ostatnie źdźbła:)
10 may 2024
I pomyśleć, że w rzeczy samej podobno Bóg
10 may 2024
To prawda, jest częścią natury :) Dziękuję
10 may 2024
Zdążyłam zrobić foto wśród rzepaku ;))
9 may 2024
Adam Pietras (Barry Kant)
Ech, Eva, miałem pewne przemyślenia związane
9 may 2024
Eva T.
Tak, prosze :)
9 may 2024
jeśli tylko
wycieczka do dachau..
8 may 2024
Odwieczny strach przed porankiem.
11 may 2024
Satish Verma
10 may 2024
Jaga
10 may 2024
wiesiek
10 may 2024
Jaga
10 may 2024
Satish Verma
9 may 2024
wiesiek
8 may 2024
wiesiek
8 may 2024
Satish Verma
7 may 2024
wiesiek
6 may 2024
Satish Verma