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I wanted to love you forever,
Yet settled for right now
You said I could love you perfectly
You destroyed that somehow.
Of purpose, your own devastation course
Detached of any emotional involvement
No guilt no accountability, no remorse
You took from me, and took your fill
You emptied me, and you are empty still.
How does that happen, where did it go
I gave my hopes of a future,
To a man I can never know.
Snuffed my expectations,
Vanished into thin air…
Scarred my core so severely
I’d never know its there.
Childhood fancies of an awaited true love,
Superior, Regal and divine
Vanish in an instant and forgotten
Once upon a time.
Twice Ill never see
Thrice cursed in existence
A multiDimensional …
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Nature’s wet in the form of dew
Moist, glistening
Between my legs
Im thinking of you
Thoughts and fantasy
Intense and erotic
In the middle of my reality
Sometimes chaotic.
Unstructured,
Remaining somewhat civilized
Elements of fire
Burning ravenous
Out of control
Attraction…Desire
To touch taste, feel
The want the hunger
Sometimes seems unreal
Real, I know You are
How; Secrets I cant tell
But pictures of you
In the meantime
Feed my fantasies well
I cannot hold you responsible for not loving me enough
And should have expected that you would get going
When the going got rough
The greatest gift I could ever give myself
Is love
Because you never did.
C'est lavie to author's wealth
Finish this chapter
and end this book
and put it back on the shelf.
No one needs to read it,
For it would never be understood
And from front to back
cover to jacket
would ever be considered good
Just a waste of time, love and space
Misery evident all over the place.
You exceeded expectations then sold yourself short
Random experiences collected and left scars breed together
Imitating an unsightly wart.
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myself again.
"leave em alone and they'll come home waggin thier tails behind them..."
if what they said be true
what would be said of you
the signs were there
from the very start-
you took over my mind
and stole my heart
quick connect
just as quick detach
words and deed
didn't match
i fell in love with your potential
the lover you could be
and shared my dreams
and hopes of the future
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Inner Beauty
Darkened skies
Some shadowed cast of light
Obscure and most eerie
Insects buzz a haunting tune
An air of false ambiance,
A personality sort
Illusionary calm,
The night,
Thick with pretense.
My mind
Almost lucid;
Promised tranquility disappears with the moon.
Dissipation of dream like state…
Reality
Reeks of anguish and grief
Layers of insults upon injury
The masquerade reveals a mannequin
Hidden is the soul beneath
Manipulated behaviors and modified by method
Tormented by rules of etiquette
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together for a minute
it seems like many more
instances I am the object of his desire
in the next I am nothing but a whore
useless, worthless a cunt in fact
all the wondrous things he calls me
and never takes them back...
but take him back,
I always do,
even though the things he shouts
aren't even close to true.
One day its that Im a bitch
another its got to do with meds
Im sick I am twisted
Im fucked in the head.
then it seems as if his anger passed
and good for a day or two,
but seldom does it last
he forgets the things he tells me
promises broken incidentally
much different than the picture he paints
and always tries to sell me.
I love this man
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perfect imperfections
My thoughta feelings and insecurities,
A poem if you will,
Truth is true even if you lie to yourself
It is Truth styll-
Right if you allow it to be
Solution like needs to be
And my questions, perceptions and unresolved issues
Of whats with you and me
Perfect reflection of an imperfect collection
Perfect is a lie
The truth is you and I
Is there no happy medium?
The choice is but to choose between yelling or silence?
Negative attention or no attention??
Supercharged or no charge at all??
The shortest distance between two points is a straight line
And the ability to keep a distance right next to me you have mastered just fine.
I don’t understand any of it at all…
Tyme continues to move on, we continue but not together, we just exist
Independently of one another, alternating ownership of an attraction meant to resist
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Insignificant significant
Ungrateful bitch
Hold jur tongue, silence the inflicted hurts
Significant bitch
The likes you have not imagined...but believe
The skars you will never see,
The molded manipulated me
The mild mannered never be
Masked in dezignz of skars you’ll never see.
Hold styll
Resist the urge to
No sneeze no sniffle-
Gag your mouth
Choke back the tears
Little shrunken coward girl
In the corner crouched in fear-
Resolve to
Never to,..
Had to
Fall down too
So hopeless,
The cause,
The claws
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