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Kahlia Mazacalletti, 5 marca 2013
Yardstick
I measure my life by the way I treat other people.......it is my destiny
If I look back at someone in horror, I have only looked at myself....
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 9 września 2012
Ode to my Master
Standing at Deaths door, you played the odd's , like playing Russian Roulette.
Fooling everyone, even yourself; All those years gone by
In a swift sound barriar instant
Why do you hurt our children so and make their pain so real?
So oblivious to their needs as you were to mine
You have passed through the circular saw window, leaving your scars on us, never to return again
Not to say hello or goodbye
Your daughter grieves for you in a fairytale dollhouse
Your son, a recluse among his own friends and family
No one knew that day, your plan to carry our your last act of unmercy
Must we continue to suffer
Shall we lie down in fields of clover and pass amongst the rest
We remember you, like a flicker of light
In a flourescent bulb going out one last time
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 19 lutego 2013
PATHWAYS
Stay away from those who use you
For they are the wicked and deceitful
Being forlorn is not the answer
Your insides will turn to stone
For you have been hurt so desperately
Do not sit on the spinning ball
For it will keep you complacent
In your future ; there is such hope and dignity
Much love and mutual respect
Don't you see that you deserve so much more
Than just remnants of a broken heart
The pathways to a lost soul
Now is your time, your day
Pick up the pieces and move along
For it is your time to shine....
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 14 lutego 2013
Judgemental
You may see me as the one that you have to judge
I see you as my peer and a beautiful person
It does not matter what you have done; it is done
I see that you hang on to things like a diamond ring
Is it guilt or is it jealousy; is it me or is it you
I never say a bad word about anyone , it comes back to haunt
Like a ghost in a house, a spirit in a childs closet
Please forgive me if I have hurt you or made you insecure
But, I cannot continue to believe it is my fault.........
I must say, going off in in a tangent does no good for anyone
It is the mood of these days , to be hateful and spiteful....
I forgive you, You will be blessed; you are one of GOD's children
And no one stands alone.......................
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 10 marca 2013
Hurt
Be yourself in all things you do.
You are fortunate to be alive
After all the things that you have done to me.....
Hatred and contempt over cloud your judgement and at times you take it out on me.
Why must you be so stubborn and emotionally abusive to me
Did I not say I would stick by you til the end?
I have kept my promise but you treat me like a bag of dirt
Use some then throw it all away.
I loved you once but now the flowers are in bloom and I haven't enough time to weigh in on my feelings.
Love is blind but you read braille............get it?
I just want you to know I have no afternoon agenda here.
So please leave out the same door you came in and do it peacefully.
Maybe, I sound harsh but I have told you in so many ways...I do not love you anymore
So you end your own life and I am left to pick up all the puzzle pieces.
It is called hurt...........
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 27 stycznia 2013
Mindframe
I sat on the beach and I looked at the sky, I asked myself a question and I wondered why
How many heartbreaks and how many traumas have to happen before I can cry
It has been a long 10 years and now I am done , trying to reason with all of it still
If, I don't leave it and move on it can possibly kill
My mind as I know it, my heart and my love for man
I've went to therapy, I have done all that I can
I am happier now than I have ever been
I can laugh at a laugh and grin at a grin.........
My life has not been so easy but I am not alone
I've met other people like me; who are in the mindframe of not going on
I realize that certain people help, they brighten your day
You don't have to see them, Just a freindly hello or hey
I want my friends to know I am really O.K., just sometimes sad...
It is normal you see, but better than always "acting" and being mad
So, I wrote in the sand..."It's a good day today" and then I said my blessings
Then I wrote this , so no-one is guessing
After visiting the graves of my family........
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 28 stycznia 2013
AVALANCHE
I put my pen to paper to talk about my trance
And then I hear the TV talk about an Avalanche
The snow was in the mountains way up high
So white and foamy it could almost touch the sky
The skiers were all skiing and it was a gorgeous alpine day
Then the TV said the whole thing went astray.........
The sheets of snow started sliding, it was a beautiful, terrible sight
Nature's wrath of winter; no one could stop with all their might
Not one but two slides of snow came to rest
No skiers were in view, the ski patrol was called to do it's best
They started making markers of where the skiiers might be
There might have been twenty or more
They found two by a tree
The troupe worked throughout the night and dug the glossy snow
The whole thing was such a fright-seven skiiers left to go
The only thing that they could do was say a long, long prayer
For all the skiiers to make it and be in their loving care
It seems as if the avalance had taken them away; but they were found
three hours later after everyone had prayed.....
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 9 marca 2013
Footprints of a dream
I see your face in my dreams...I hear your footsteps coming closer
I am ready for you now, in my requim of sleep
Touch me, hold me, never let me go.
Bring me all your kindness and goodness and leave it with me so I may
pass it along to the world
For you are a strong influence in my life....
I know that we have never met; yet you are no stranger to me.
For in my head lies deep thoughts of you and undying love.
Some people might think I am just dreaming, but I KNOW you are there for me
No matter what the cost.
I have a wakened and see you, still, in the footprints of my dream.
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 6 lutego 2013
GOLD
So, didn't you find love or salvation
In what they do
Heart is filled with Gold
Fairies they are, too
In the hands you hold
How long can we ignore
Build a little more
Pray a lot for what's in store
I cannot turn around
The angels see me, now
Goin' where I'm bound
Smiling at me somehow
The world has been found
Ref: Wake Owl
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 13 lutego 2013
GO FISH
You knock me down like a wrecking ball
It is sad when someone you know becomes someone you knew
I have fought for you-12 rounds til the sound of the bell
And yet , you betray me at every given turn
Why must you hurt me so and make the pain so devastating?
Is it your course in life to destroy me
Or do you just play games-Parker Brothers should make you their Company spokesperson
You can make Monopoly look like GO FISH.....
I never know when you are going to strike
It's like a rattlesnake in the Arizona desert
I hurt enough and am black and blue
But you want the color purple; as well
So, I am leaving you now in my mind
It will be sad but I have to go
You can leave and go down the road; to some other unsuspecting soul...............
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 23 lutego 2013
TWISTER
Like a day without thunder; you have made me fall silent
At times, I want to know just how much power you have
Enough to run the country, perhaps
It is always on my mind to just relax, But I cannot do that when you are around
I feel like a Mexican Jumping bean; only in a different place
You call me on the phone and my heart starts to race, knowing I have to talk to you "nicely"
How long can I continue his charade
Will the game ever end or will it continue ; with you always winning
I am so tired of being the loser
So, I have decided to play a different game
One called Twister; where we shake things up a bit
You said you don't want to do that
I can understand why; you have to relocate yourself in a different sort of way...
So, now I am playing all by myself and It is so much fun.........
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 15 lutego 2013
Emotions
She told him that she loved him; more than once
His heart was opened wide to recieve her
She asked him if he was ready for her alabaster skin upon him
His heart raced with excitement
Too many times she played with his emotions like a cat with a string
Now he is in a bad state of affairs and cannot remove himself from her
People play with emotions like a game, it is sad to see and worse to be
One of them; It takes time to recover ; like breaking your back
Only the cast does not come off ever
And the mask remains
Inside of you; I feel it daily..........
I have been there and the map does not end, all roads lead to nowhere
Judge your loves wisely and make friends wiser as hurt is everywhere
For you are the seeker of your own destiny
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 5 lutego 2013
Wishing Day
Today is my wishing day; for all things to come to pass
For all man to be equal; for all man to be free
I wish for the beauty that others see
Wanting not only for you and I; but for all mankind.
It seems that the world has slid downhill
And now we are at an empasse; a great standstill
Why can't we just all get along
Must we fight each other; must we kill one another
It is so sad to see, the burying of children from gunbattle
The murder of our souls, the killing of our destiny's
Let us live in peace and harmony
Let us kill to be free.....
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 6 września 2012
Lovers
The long goodbye; like taking a puff off your last cigarette
Where do all the young lovers go?
Being so lonely after the affairs of the heart end
On the turnstyle of life, round and round
Their heads spinning with the lack of desire
Felt from days gone by
Lustful dreams; broken memories
The lament of love songs still ringing in their ears
Of what was said to each other
It is a sad thing, this forlong love
The break-up of destiny
Lost forever, only to meet in a back alley street some moonlit night
Under a starry sky-why must it be so hurtful, can't I just let it go?
Move along and find another
Or was He the only man of my years?
Please tell me there is good and plenty
Do not tease me or test me; for I am heart broken
And have no love to call my own
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 16 stycznia 2013
Raising Me
Being born into a family Black and Blue was hard; to say the least
I was not the prodigal daughter; I was a black sheep
A shirt with two double zero's on it...........
Never doing anything right was just oh so wrong
Sitting on a curb; dangling my feet off
Going to sleep in the basement; lower than my self esteem
EMERGENCY
Always undermined by my older brother; the Golden Child
Beaten in my mind til I was purple
Kept on lock down in my own home
Should I have held up a white flag?
EMERGENCY
I never realized the toll it took on me til I got in therapy
Her always asking me the questions......how did that make you feel?
It felt like an EMERGENCY......God, I needed Help.................
Twisted and worn, I left that HOME at age 17, and I am the person I am today, because of it
I asked GOD for help and HE listened every time
No More Emergencies
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 29 grudnia 2012
For Phillip Winters
At 42, he sits in the atrium of the nursing home
He is silent and his movements are that of a mime
Getting up, and deciding to roam
I see that when he walks he is perfectly in time
With the music that is being played and he looks at the fire door
I shake my head and say no, please don't try
A tear wells up and he begins to cry
Phillips girlfriend comes by for a visit and tells me his story
How they were making love and he had a major stroke
It seems to me in all his handsome glory
This is some kind of cruel joke
How could someone have brought him through the gate
Then I find out , he was admitted by the state
He was not enough medical and just enough psych
To get to Broadview Manor Nursing Home
The state thought his family would like
I was doing my internship on geriatrics and thought I'd seen it all
But he caught my eye and made me cry
His life was at a standstill and they had dropped the ball
So, I made Phillip my newfound project and he was so kind to me
He was somewhat of a child like man and a prodigy
Today Phillip is leading a new life....with his new ex girlfriend
Whom is now his wife
I helped Phillip get placed in an independent living center with his families help and he is leading a Very productive life. I will always remember him....
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 27 grudnia 2012
Circles
I said a little prayer for you; you told me you were feeling blue
You've been that way for quite a while
No laugh, no grin, no smile
I wonder what is making you so sad
You seemed scorned from something bad
Is it that man again that you always see
Why can't you just let him be
You said it was like being on a date
He made you feel love and sometimes hate
His disconcerting smile, and all the while
You were waiting for the truth to see the light
And all you got was another fight
Love is blind or so they say; I think it's both and so much more
So what have you got my friend, in store
You are taking the easy way out; blowing it all off
Acting as if your O.K.; with just a scoff
I really wish you'd own up too
The fact that he does not love you.........
Nor do you love him..its a game and losers never win
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 18 grudnia 2012
ABOUT HEAVEN
I have been to heaven and I saw so many things
I saw the bright light of the tunnel and an angel spread his wings
I saw Jesus sit upon His throne and so many other things
I have been to the promised land; and a land of old
Where I saw an Indian Princess and tons and tons of gold
I was dead for nine minutes; the Dr's said it was the meds
Personally I think they think, it was all in my head
I am left with no recourse but to prophesize that Jesus is alive
For I have seen him with my very own two eyes
I am now a better person and I try so hard each day
To make sure I smile at each passerby that might come my way
I hear people say there is NO GOD; it is so sad to me
When you have been where I was, you can really see
That life exists on the other side and that Heaven is a paradise
But do you have to die to realize that GOD is really alive?
And now my speech is over and I hope you understand
I died and went to Heaven and was touched by GOD's hand
I, too am a sinner and will always be, but I have seen Jesus and He has set me free
After dying on life support for 11 days..........2010
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 4 września 2012
Addiction
He cannot say that he loathed the darkness, it helped him to relish the light......
Though he may have desired a long dreamless slumber
Lies and truth battles in a dance for control
He was in a keen state of his disease
He wrote, erased and re-wrote his own demise
He sought redemtion, even though, half heartedly
In the end he held on to his pain
Clutching it, feeling it, it dictated his short life; 29 years on the spinning ball
He was not of my kind, I felt his heartbeat in time with mine, tho.
Are we not in love with dispair?
I did not know you my cousin, my friend
But I know you, I was almost there once.
Rest in Peace, in the loving hands of GOD
I see you in the prisms of my tears.
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 26 kwietnia 2013
Goodbye
I thought I would miss you; I don't anymore
You left me with no choice but to get over it all
Thank you for not making my life harder
With all your twists and turns
I could feel it slipping away; you wanted it that way
I thought I knew the meaning of a good friend
I was so wrong; you hate yourself
But, I will never hate me; I don't hate you
You have hurt me for the first and last time
With your lies and misery; go by yourself to some other land
I waited for you to call, you did once-That shocked me
So, now in a 24 hour period, you have no time for me?
My watch has not broken and I know what time it is
Time for you to fool someone else..........
Goodbye.....................
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 15 grudnia 2012
Listless
Father, where have you gone....from the time I was 3 days old
you abandoned me, saying I was not your child.
Now, I am homeless for a father and need shoes; but have no big ones to fill
I feel at times like I want to know you but why as you never wanted me; never even meeting me on your terms
It is Christmas once again and I still miss you; even though I have never seen your face, people tell me I look like you; is that a part of me that can see you?
I ask GOD why and I get no answer as I believe that HE did not want this to happen to me
YOU leaving me without any good reason or even a bad one
I guess you just don't care and that is what hurts the most
I am listless and lonely for my Mother has gone astray and nobody is my family
I guess it is just GOD and I this year again and that is fine with me
Thank you for making my choices for me; one more year
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 12 grudnia 2012
The Jungle Wall
Out in The Streets, there is no perfect world
So in my solitude, I make my own
I do not believe in the problems that plague my mind
But would rather stay in my fairytale land
The space I seek is a far cry from gunshots, ambulances and hate
But rather music, dances and harpiscords..
I world rather live in my so called made up world in my head
Than take my chances on the streets............
The world is filled with violence, anger and there is a jungle wall
I would like to think that I have solved the problem; in my one bedroom apartment, I am just waiting for it to come in.
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 12 grudnia 2012
Our Precious Time
I thought I had it figured out
What this life was all about
Then I saw your sweet and endearing smile
I thought I might just stay awhile...
We could rule the world, you see
No bittereness, no hate, we are free
I see your laughter , I see your tears
From relationships of wasted years
We have a bond that is set in stone
For all eternity, we are not alone
Others have tried and we have not been torn
To break our bond and carry on
I saw innocence at its best
I wanted you more than the rest
In the middle of our passion I can somehow see
You and me and ecstacy
So stay with me for some precious time
I just want you to be mine
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 10 grudnia 2012
My Nails
I did my nails last night; so I could claw my way through life
They are a very pretty color on the outside
I am sure people will remark how nice they look
They are looking at the one applied coat, you see
I will mentally scratch through another day
My mind, being so ahead of itself
I did this beauty treatment all by myself-
My nails were so plain before, no pizazz; my nails are brittle and break easily
But I have not , yet
I remember all the filing I have had to do, to keep things smooth, on the outside........
My nails are so shiny; while other things are Dull.
Getting your nails done gives you a purpose to hang on, I am mentally hung, I was up all night checking my nails and thinking
Maybe, I have had enough of this un-beautiful stuff....
Maybe, I should paint something else-my life
My life could be a different shade than blue
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 21 listopada 2012
Neverville
People do not understand the position of the weary
Tired and lonely, they tread on
Into the Garden of Earthly Intentions
Cruelty surrounds them-a circle of mockery
A lifetime of behavior;taught by others
Why the torment they ask-were we someone's possesions?
Do we live a life of solitude and and square walls only to find our own demise?
The long road to nowhere, the short walk to Neverville.
A box; living in a self contained unit
Trying to escape their own reality
While everyone looks on
The world goes on around them and mocks their uncertainty
Pokes fun of inadaquacies and jokes at their lives
It is sad in Neverville-no smile, laughs or grins
Only the heartbeat of a lonely soul
Crying out for Mercy one last time.
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 25 września 2012
Bullseye
You spew your vengence at me; to me
Like a wild asp, winding around the wicked vine
Did I not give you life
And bring breath to your ticker tape world
I see bits and pieces of your father seething out of your mouth.
SO angry; SO foul
You are so sad and you make me your victim
So skilled at making me your mark
I am your craft, your rendition of pain
Wind down the road to nowhere
We all have our secrets, but yours are not sweet, they kill
Like your fathers did; You called me a whore, the ultimate streetwalker, a dollar and a dime
You stab me like a double edged sword
You were a baby once, I touched your cheek to mine
Now I feel the singe, Do you hate me, do you wish me dead
I feel the coldness in your voice
I surmise your intentions
I lie down and surrender
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 6 września 2012
My friend Kristen
You lived your life as if it were always Christmas Day; your birthday
With your paper mache' mask on
Always making me wonder if you were really my friend
You decorated everything and took advantage when you had no advantage at all
Your pyramid and tomb waiting for you, your eyes like Cleopatra
For your eternal resting place
You fooled us all
How was I to know your tears were not even wet?
The roses blooming in your yard were stagnet like your life
Did you enjoy stringing me along in the clothesline of life?
I cried for, I bled from my heart; my holidays saddened by your exit
My godchildren crying in despair and noone to soothe the pain
Where are we to go; how far must we walk in our worn out shoes?
I will always miss you, you helped me through this blizzard of life
But now, you have taken yours, I am still crying for you after so many years
My best friend committed suicide in November 2002.
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 31 grudnia 2012
Coinjoined
They were two of a kind; or so some say
But undearneath it all, they had their hey-day
The clock was ticking and time was not on their side anymore
Like an elephant in a grocery store
He loved her but she did not love him-it was sad you see
Why didn't she just let him be
Did it have to do with his money
She played the game oh so well; he never knew
But underneath it all, she was through
And even with that mannaquin smile
That icy pose-she hung on for quite awhile
For love is blind or so they say
And the wicked wait for another day
She let him have her-night after night
Never putting up a fight
But he found the number quite by accident
No explanation was needed and he would lament
That he had been used and he was so hurt and mad
But she had taken him for what he had.......
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 20 stycznia 2013
War Games 101
I am lost-I need that game CLUE
I feel like I have been through a war
I have been captured and tortured
But maybe I can escape-I do not know
I don't have my dog-tags
13 rounds of ammunition
Still trying to dig out bullets
I am definately the private here
And getting court-martialed
Do I get a medal for Valor or just a commendation......?
Should I re-enlist?
Someday My war will be over and I can live in Peace
Please call the paramedics, I am wounded
Please call the M.P.'s, I have been assaulted
I need a helmet just to protect my mind
They even murdered Jesus and He suffered more than HE should have
I have to walk into the opposing force head-on
And I do not have a white flag.......
Kahlia Mazacalletti, 2 listopada 2012
Windmills
I have vented my feelings so many times; exaustion is my middle name
Now, I am no longer ready to say a word.
To continue on the Windmill of your game
Now wanting, waiting, no expecting; just knowing
what you will always do next
It has gotten so very repitisious;
Almost like a mime, annoying
You sat yourself up quite awhile ago; without even knowing
There were so many signs
As if you were driving down the Santa Monica freeway
You chose to ignore them all, going 'round yourself time after time
Even tho', times are rough I feel fine
Guess, it has just gotten to the point where I am not denying me anymore
The windmill keeps on moving in my direction,making me feel like sooner or later
This will come to an end
But let us be friends til it is over; let it fizzle out like a sparkle on the 4th of July
Ostatnie komentarze:
22 maja 2024
sam53
zmieniłem :)
22 maja 2024
violetta
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gagrjoOJBA
22 maja 2024
Yaro
czujemy się oszukani , okłamani karmieni kłamstwem
21 maja 2024
piórko
Ostatnia zwrotka szczególna "W dłoni piasek
21 maja 2024
Ludzie cobie upodobali :)
21 maja 2024
Wojna już trwa:)
21 maja 2024
Śliczna jest:)
21 maja 2024
Ja futro :)
21 maja 2024
Ja tutaj zapomniałam o was, cieszę się za
20 maja 2024
Jaga
Na szczęście życie zmiennym jest...
20 maja 2024
Dziękuję za plusy i komentarze :)
20 maja 2024
można je mieć każdego dnia :)
26 maja 2024
Sztelak Marcin
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Misiek
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Marek Gajowniczek
25 maja 2024
violetta
24 maja 2024
Arsis
22 maja 2024
violetta
22 maja 2024
Deadbat
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Jaga
20 maja 2024
Marek Gajowniczek
20 maja 2024
Jaga