Latest items:
Poetry
|
| Jock Engelman |
| PROFILE About me Friends (16) Forums (2) Poetry (34) Prose (5) Photography (1) Graphics (11) Diary (2) | |
Jock Engelman, 2 april 2012
Plant, Grow, Die, Plant
Seeds Planted in our first interaction;
Seeds of new emotion and affection;
Were placed deep within my chest cavity;
A new source of poetic inspiration;
Hidden in my heart of dissociation;
Just like an unknown time-bomb of beauty;
It blossoms, my heart stolen in your possession;
For once it's not just manipulation;
Flowering into a bed of roses;
This was going to be a dedication;
Of my admiration and affection;
But it all went wrong before I could finish;
I thought you could repair the damaged section;
To re-animate my self appreciation;
The blossomed roses begin to wilter;
Petals black with discolouration;
But for one I perform a resurrection;
To remind myself why I cannot love;
Jock Engelman, 26 march 2012
Sigh Sky Sigh
Black, billowing out of the exhaust pipe;
To join the smog, and the smells so damn ripe;
Flowing free form, as I watch from my stop;
Shaking my dark facial features, Why oh Why;
Coughing in this polluted Sky, I Sigh;
Oh I wonder and I ponder today;
Hear, Hear the complaints on the radio;
Climate Change you know, Climate Changed, Yeah So?;
All we do is talk, There's no active change;
Whining and crying of politicians;
Puffs of dense dark smoke, just like magicians;
Sickened, am I the only one who cares?
Jock Engelman, 21 march 2012
The Butterfly (Don't Die My Butterfly)
With wings that seem to sparkle like the night sky;
Who's purpose seems to be float, glide and fly;
It tears my heart to know you are so rare;
Or that in adulthood you go unnoticed;
With technicolour wings of the dearest;
For you life is full of beauty and simplicity.
Jock Engelman, 20 march 2012
Instant Opinons Of The Upper Class (The Judged, Judging the Judge)
As you stare with your cold grey eyes you judge;
I know your instant opinon won't budge;
Your lined and sagged face hide what's within;
Make up covered nostrils all raised and flared;
My ears bleed from sounds of your false laugh shared;
Cringing as the high pitch pierces my ears;
Don't whine your the ones who raised all of us;
T'was jus a smack you say, what is the fuss;
Plain amazing how you can still think this;
While I can smell your expensive coffee;
You sip it with plain disregard for money;
A lack of empathy for all in poverty;
I know, go on, send me to the gallows;
Upper class? Can you really be this shallow;
Alone I see how you are so alouf;
Skin, Body and Hair art doesn't mean we Sin;
We bleed blood, we bleed emotions, we bleed kin;
And yet, here I sit, judging you myself;
Jock Engelman, 13 march 2012
Running Rampart Rat Race
Within the urge, continues to build on;
Separate from a place, I truely belong;
Away from the trees, streams and animals;
I wish to hide from, the husle and busle;
I wish to hide from, the turns and tusles;
Tired of running, in this rampart rat race;
The blaze of fire, over the velvet black;
Chirping sounds of song birds, reach my rucksack;
The scents of pollenation, treat my senses;
In my minds eye, back to the bush I go;
Where there's no power, from connections or dough;
It is programmed into my D.N.A;
Darn! Back to the smokey, noisy, city;
Just a single person, so itty-bitty;
Long to live in the wild, with the serenity;
Wish to sleep, with the beauty of nature;
With the stars, butterflys, and all creatures;
Where I belong, feeling wholy content;
Jock Engelman, 13 march 2012
The Triumph Saint
I'm soaring, it's roaring, no longer boring;
I'm laughing, it's flying, no longer crying;
No longer captive, I'm smiling, it's freedom;
I'm crazy, it's hazy, no longer angry;
I'm blooming, it's fumming, no longer grooming;
No longer destined, I'm unread, it's unsaid.
(p.s. if anyone wants to know what a triumph saint can look like, it is here at this link: http://motorivista.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/triumph-saint-motorbikes-422x281.jpg )
Jock Engelman, 13 march 2012
Look! Look! Gone! Gone!
Look! Look at all the men, once filled with hope;
Look! Look at all the men, now who cant cope;
Driven into hiding, by this shallow world;
So afraid, to express their true feelings;
Cause you rejected and left them dreaming;
To chase those cheats with every other tart;
But by the time of your epiphany;
About his continual decency;
It's you who have moved into the friendzone;
Jock Engelman, 26 february 2012
Flames and Ashes
Well hello there summer’s breeze, I’ve missed you;
Oh there’s Mister Sun, so he’s your friend too;
Missed the way you pair tantalise my senses;
In your absence I’ve only seen Mister Grim;
Possessor of dead souls, yeah that’s him;
Last saw his friendly wave, and terror smile;
Well Mister Sun, please dry my silvery tears;
And ward away my deepest, darkest fears;
As I spread ashes of my once closest friend;
See Mister Breeze, taking him away slowly;
Spin as freeform, and ever so lightly;
Feeling I’ll bleed to death from the pain of this;
I know you didn’t want to become powder;
But I can’t scream “Sorry”, any louder;
Deep within, I feel my heart just cracking;
Soul dissolves, like your ashes in the sea;
Alone, as far as the eye can see;
Crashing of waves, impossible to hear;
Burning scent, of the gusting ocean air;
Watch you blow and float, all the way out there;
Mister Sun, scurries back behind the clouds;
And as Mister Breeze departs, so does all comfort;
Now everything, has reach finish and sort;
Left solitary, with my broken heart;
Thinking of the duality, of life and more;
From death grows life, and the other way for sure;
I ponder, should I jump and join him now;
So Bro, I just wanted you to know;
In heart you’ll reside, each year I’ll show;
How much I miss you, on your Burning Day;
Jock Engelman, 21 february 2012
Skin Deep
Not a single flaw in your olive skin;
Actions suggest you want everything;
Locks flow freely, like golden waterfalls;
Others gawp and stare, tripping over their feet;
With glassy eyes, show they are keen to meet;
This creature, which holds such beauty;
That shimmering white smile wont fool me;
The flawed personality, that i see;
A deformed monster of utter nightmares;
Hidden behind advertisements and dolls;
Manipulating with ILY's and LOL's;
And Perspectives shallower than outer skin;
Jock Engelman, 20 february 2012
A Silvery Lullaby Potion
The screams crack, through the silence of the night;
As this cruel world, gives you this pain to fight;
I guard you in my arms, I coax the pain;
Shh Shh Shh, oh please don't cry dear brother;
I'm here for you, no matter, forever;
Soothingly whispered, in his hearing aids;
On life's journey, together we'll embark;
Please dont make me cry, with you in the dark;
despite the eighteen year, age separation;
Shh Shh Shh, oh i know you are teething;
why should this befall, such a small being;
Sad you cant hear, my soothing lullaby;
Clutching you tight, so close i share your pain;
HEY LIFE!, why should you be such a harsh game;
Praying for your pain to seep into my skin;
Our silvery tears, mixing like a potion;
To forge a bond to last eternity long;
So dear brother, welcome to this cruel world;
Jock Engelman, 19 february 2012
An Average Perspective On A Microcosm
Observing the world, as an average bloke;
All the disrespect, of the fellow folk;
A civilised race, being uncivil;
If only we could all, just coalesce;
No matter your idol, God or Goddess;
Contrary to belief, we are capable;
To move forward, mend bridges of trust;
To mend fences of respect, it's a must;
To love one another, I think it's time;
So now let us turn this world, all around;
Make it celestial, just to astound;
All who don't understand, Heaven On Earth;
Ignorance, may be considered as bliss;
Where's that tranquil world, I dearly miss;
Well that disappeared, with my innocence;
Binded in this messed up world together;
Aid me Dear Brother, Aid me Dear Sister;
I'll aid you to create Heaven On Earth;
Jock Engelman, 16 february 2012
Poetic Disappointment
Oh how I love that feeling, deep inside;
Where all I want to do, is go and hide:
Cause disappointment, scolds my soul within;
I learnt to pretend, I dont have a heart;
An act to cease, it being torn apart;
As the emptyness, continues to form;
silver drops fall from my eyes, you dont care;
not from your perch, all of the way up there;
Hunched over my vunerability;
A scarlet drop, lands on bleached white;
Hey there, Mr. Grim, it has been a while;
I didnt see you, shrouded in the mist;
As I hold my last breath, I see my life;
Soar past my vision, sharper than the knife;
amiliar feelinFgs, of pain and pleasure;
This limeric is not suicidal;
But poetic art of my survival;
The everlasting struggle, this is LIFE;
Jock Engelman, 9 february 2012
A New Perspective Of An Old World
The floor boards tremble to the rhythmic sound;
Combined with the stamping feet on the ground;
The screeches and growls bounce off the walls;
Completely surrounded, yet alone;
The fruitless ringing of a mobile phone;
The clashing of bodies, fully unheard;
A scene of such beauty, yet such horror;
As coloured lights spin over the walls and floor;
I cant even feel my heart beat its beat;
Vision blinded by red, white, and blue lights;
Unable to tell the day, from the night;
People streaming in from all over town;
Nostrils assaulted by terrible scents;
Mixed with the sights and sounds this world presents;
Engineers this feeling of estacy;
My shouts, shrieks, and screems are masked by the band;
Each tone strummed by the magical hand;
Here I belong, at this metal concert;
Jock Engelman, 9 february 2012
Tears Tears Tears and Many More Tears
Tears, tears, tears, and many more tears;
As they fall I hope that no one hears;
How vunerable I am inside;
And I curl up into a small ball;
To protect my emotions from all;
So I can be insecurely safe;
Tears, tears, tears, and many more tears;
My heart has become full of new fears;
All I want to be is in your arms;
Where the world can do me no more harm;
But I'm afraid of my twisted mind;
Tears, tears, tears, and many more tears;
My mirror's reflection only leers;
Loathing who I am forced to become;
As I am my own worst enemy;
Silently being judged on harsh terms;
Tears, tears, tears, and many more tears;
Held deep inside for such many long years;
Now feeling positive emotions;
Which I had believed to be long gone;
Feelings I lost with the death of Sean;
Leave me alone, like I feel inside;
Jock Engelman, 1 february 2012
I want to hear Goodbye
The memories of you
Are engraved within my heart
Nothing in this world
Could ever tear us apart
Because you’re not here
Some think that you’re gone
But I tell them better
Let’s say you just moved on
I try to stay positive
To keep you watching over me
Some think it’s crazy
But I know you’ve got to be
We were pretty close
I hope I can say
You were so pretty
I’ll never forget those days
You were such a fun person
And your personality was great
All the girls loved you
only some you could hate
I know how you were
And how you were so shy
But I wish you told me one thing
I wish you would have said goodbye…
Your future was great
You had so much in store
When I’m forced to think of it
It rots me to the core
I spend most of my time
Thinking of you
And reminiscing of the things
We said we’d do
What I wouldn’t give
To be in your place
I’d give the whole world
Just to see your face
Some say I’m going crazy
Or maybe insane
But they don’t understand
This heartbreaking pain
You were my drug
My source to get high
But I really do wish
You would have said goodbye…
I’ve been thinking of the days
When we used to sit together
I now cherish those moments
I also hope you remember
You’re always in my head
And I can’t get you out
I get so mad at times
That I just want to shout
I feel as if pieces are missing
Like a book with no end
Too late to tell you how I feel
Now and forever, only a friend
My old memories of you
Fly by me fast
And everything I remember of you
Is now in the past
All the sweet thoughts of you
Brings a tear to my eye
I miss you so much
I wish you’d say goodbye…
I hope heavens good to you
And I hope you get your Wings
An maybe when I get there
You can show me all the beautiful things
I really don’t want to say it
But please wait for me
Knowing your up there
I really can’t wait to be
That day when angels came down
Was a sad day of grief
When I first found out
I stood in disbelief
Although you’re gone
You still feel so close
Maybe it’s the thought
Of missing you the most
I wish this was a joke
A foolish student’s lie
But you have no idea
Please…tell me goodbye…
Ill always be here for you,
You will forever be missed…
R.I.P. SEAN JAMERSON 2/12/11
Jock Engelman, 29 january 2012
When I look Into Your Eyes
When I look into your eyes,
the world dissapears.
I forget my worries, problems,
stresses and all my fears.
Your my breath of air,
your my light of day.
When my words cluster up,
you always seem to understand what I say.
You give me reason,
to wake up tommorow and the next.
You so easily make my day,
with so little as a text.
I'm so in love with you.
I will never hurt you.
When I speak to you,
you'll always know it's true.
Well that's if it's a serious subject.
I will never raise a hand to you,
I'll raise a hand to someone else,
for messing with or hurting you.
Your my everything
and in-between.
When I look into your eyes,
it's the greatest sight I have ever seen!
Jock Engelman, 23 january 2012
Its My Fault, My Fault
as I sit here all alone;
I remember to myself;
that it is all my damn fault;
I am the one who screwed up;
I am the one who pushed you away;
now as I cry to myself;
I realise its my fault;
And the tears flow more freely;
how could I do this to us;
This should not have happened now;
If life felt meaningless before;
Imagine what I feel now;
Knowing it is all my fault;
And you just tried to help me;
See I am afraid of life;
All cooped up like a caged bird;
no chance to spread my wings wide;
always being the strong one;
but really just dying inside;
Jock Engelman, 22 january 2012
Until the Day
My eyes filled up with tears as I heard the news
It never occurred to me, how much I could lose
I find myself wishing that it wasn't real
Every time I think about it, pain is all I can feel
Tears fall from my eyes, I can barely see
But my heart tells me that he'll always be with me
I’m glad he feels no pain now-he lives in a perfect land
I can still feel the soft touch on my shoulder of his loving hand
I lie in bed and cry at night
And I don’t feel any better in the morning light
And I will love and miss him forever
Until the day we are again together.
Together in that perfect place above,
Filled with caring, sharing and love
But until that day comes- I will wipe my tears away.
And hopefully see him again someday
Jock Engelman, 8 january 2012
About Love, I Wonder
I open my heart;
just for all to stare;
deep inside my soul;
through the gaping hole;
which once was my love;
fragile like a dove;
should I dare wonder;
if it is better;
to die all alone;
like my life has shown;
Fear of rejection;
longing affection;
as inside I die;
life passes me by;
I long for your touch;
I love you too much;
Should I dare wonder;
if it is better;
to just take the chance;
together we dance;
I know it sounds dumb;
whatever may come;
I want to be here;
where I do not fear;
the future to come;
i know it sounds dumb;
should I dare wonder;
if it is better;
for me to leave you;
before I hate you;
Jock Engelman, 7 january 2012
Tears
Tears fall like rain
Tears fall like rain from my eyes
Like a rainfall from my eyes
The pain I was caused
You put it all on me
I was destroyed because of you
Now I wish I could go back
To the love I now hate and despise
To the wonder that you took away
To the happiness I will never know again
And to the days I did not cry
The days where all I could be was happy
Those things taken away
As the tears fall like rain from my eyes
Jock Engelman, 5 january 2012
Stories Of Our Lives
It’s been said one door closes another opens;
But that isnt always true;
More like as one book opens another closes;
Their the stories of our lives;
As each page has been turned, a day of our lives passes;
Wondering where the plot twist occurs;
That is the exciting mystery;
Before marking my place tonight;
I fear the next page;
As it turns, I close my eyes tight;
Am I all alone?
Are you and I together now?
I hold my seat tight;
Afraid to view my future;
My eyes tear as I pass through each page ;
Jock Engelman, 5 january 2012
A Thousand Fair Suitors
A thousand fair suitors all stab at your heart
Those poets of movement and jockeys of art
The high-volume vendors who hustle romance
Splashing their canvas with color and dance
The blasters of trumpets, gold banners unfurled
They offer lush gardens in glistening worlds
Yes, bearers of torches and carvers of stone
Who whisper their sonnets and surrender their thrones
And there in your doorway, no shadow is cast
No lingering voices, no ghosts from the past
Just a cluster of walls, and a window of pain
Collecting the heartache like droplets of rain
Still I stand before you, with palms to the sky
No gold in my pocket, no thorn in my side
And all I can offer, where words have no place
Is a body that trembles, and this love that awaits
Jock Engelman, 5 january 2012
my daily routine… is there something wrong?
As I watch the sun set and watch it rise
i hear the sound of my alarm clock
can i survive the world today?
sleepless nights, eyes burning
maybe i will sleep tonight, must keep going
as i lay curled on the shower floor
i silently cry to myself
so tired, yet so awake
out to my guym, the barrier between
the chaos of the dark passenger
as the monster dwelling within
tries to control my actions
through my day, i’m surrounded yet alone
missunderstood, riddiculed, and mocked
i wonder why they are happy
as i move from class to class
i pull my long sleeves down to hide the scars
no one must know i’m vunerable
until the lonely trip home
once i am home, i train my pain away
attempting to tire myself out
and i complete my homework
hoping that i can be loved
i lay myself by the shower now
knife in hand, maybe tonights the end
and as the warm blood flows freely
the white floor pools with my blood
finally a pain i can understand
and as the blood clots, i shower clean
i stay up late into the night
trying to stitch up my wounds
i lay myself down to rest late tonight
as a warm fat tear rolls down my cheek
i watch the clock spin
this is my daily cycle…
Jock Engelman, 3 january 2012
How can i fill the void?
Into society I was hurled
Outcasted from the world
Filled with emptyness
A fear of lonelyness
An emotionally damaged child
Who could not be more wild
always feeling alone
when no where feels like home
Now as a teen and an insomniac
I miss you, please come back
I am lost without you
my friends are very few
All that i know is you ruined me
I must live on my days
All alone and depressed
As I search for my broken heart…
Jock Engelman, 3 january 2012
is it the Dark I fear or the Unknown?
As the Darkness supresses me
I drown in my panic and fear
Its not the Darkness that scares me
Its the Unknown of what’s near
My breath is stolen by the wind
wishing for help, I cant shout out
The darkness rendering me blind
And I run flailing all about
As I finally reach the light
My eyes burn and my lungs open up
I feel like a bird taking flight
My fear is once again, covered up
As I walk, head bowed in silent shame…
Jock Engelman, 3 january 2012
Bully, bully go away… make me cry again another day
I’ve cried so hard,
My tears have turned black
The purity of my sadness
Has been destroyed long ago.
As it touches my paled skin
It fades inside my mind
The hatred spreads
Like poison mascara
It covers my identity
While stabbing my heart thin…
Blood flows thick,
Like oil seeping from my skin
Pain is an ungrateful feeling
To inflict potential confliction…
I suffer much agony
But choose to live this way
To show you that children
Have scars of sorrow too
And it could be like mine
A EMO teardropp lost in time.
Jock Engelman, 1 january 2012
The Fate of Hate, can only be Hate
The fate of hate is hate
Hate was his way of life
Humanity he did not like
Killed thousands
Around the world
Taught others
To live in hate
In the name of religion
Called himself a human
Lived like a demon
Spread terror on the earth
Did not get
Two yards for himself
Remains buried
In the depth of the sea
Was cursed by everybody
From a child to elderly
His fate was known
Long before he died
Tried his best to hide
But could not survive
The fate of hate is hate
Hate killed hate
Jock Engelman, 1 january 2012
Whats Wrong With Society?
I am fat and you are thin
I work hard but you dont
I am nice and you are mean
I am alone and you’re not
I am Hated but you are Loved
Can you see the pattern?
I think that it is a problem
But you feel no concern…
Jock Engelman, 1 january 2012
Suicide
There is a theory that people insist
has to be right and has to be this
people choose when they die
how they die and their friends ask why
well I am here to tell you the truth
its not all bridges rope and a noose
peoples emotions build up inside
’til it gets too full and they cry and cry
their minds tell them the opposite of reality
which just turns out to be a fallacy
the force it turns out is greater than gravity
which pulls them into a state of self pity
the captured person would plan it out
how they’ll die they’d scream and shout
So now I plead don’t be mislead
just bear this statement in mind instead
Suicide is not chosen it happens when pain
exceeds the resources for coping with pain
and I hope making this poem wasn’t in vain
Jock Engelman, 31 december 2011
The Eternal Internal Struggle
Why are you lying to me
why cant you leave me be
why do you have to look like that
why do u spill your wrist on the mat
why do I even talk to you
I know why because you asked me to
why do I listen to u speak
when I know perfectly well that you are weak
why do you command me so
while my emotions go to and fro
many battles I have lost
and lots of money it has cost
mostly coz of my bad memory
as I now sit underneath this chestnut tree
the struggle is still taking place
the eternal internal struggle
between my heart, brain and me
Latest comments:
28 april 2024
samoA
dziękuję. uśmiech posyłam
27 april 2024
Jaga
Bardzo, widać że dobrze mu z oka patrzy ;)
27 april 2024
On tak dostojnie chodzi, że to czysta przyjemność
27 april 2024
kb
hm tutaj pokazano niejako wprost sprawcę światła.
27 april 2024
sufit, uśmiech i barany... no tak to jest, sama
27 april 2024
"wszystkie modlitwy wymyślili grzesznicy"
27 april 2024
social-real. bardzo fajnie ujęte
26 april 2024
jeśli tylko
właśnie :)
26 april 2024
Adam Pietras (Barry Kant)
Dzięki, Violetta!
25 april 2024
violetta
Dziękuję:)
25 april 2024
Bociany są takie ufne:)
25 april 2024
Yaro
Bardzo kobiecy wiersz:) Pozdrawiam:)
28 april 2024
Jaga
28 april 2024
Satish Verma
27 april 2024
Jaga
27 april 2024
Satish Verma
26 april 2024
wiesiek
26 april 2024
Satish Verma
25 april 2024
wiesiek
25 april 2024
Satish Verma
24 april 2024
Satish Verma
23 april 2024
Adam Pietras (Barry Kant)