Daddys Gurl, 25 december 2011
As i sit here and look around the room i feel no holiday spirit.
No Christmas tree, candycanes, or presents.
Nothing but darknes, lonelyness and anger.
Yelling, fighting, and crying.
Things being thrown across the room.
Hearin glass breaking, big booms, and crying.
But as i look out the window next door i see smiling face, a big christmas tree in the window, colorfull lights hanging from the roof. Kids runing around an laughing and playing.
I sit here and think why cant our family be like that again...
Daddys Gurl, 19 december 2011
I miss him everyday.
I always think of him.
It hurts to know he's not here on earth anymore.
In the middle of the day i sometimes begin to cry.
People ask whats wrong.
I say nothing and walk away.
We used to go to the park in the middle of the day.
Sometimes he would wake me up in the middle of the night to eat Oreo's it Corn flakes and talk the night away.
One day my dad past away.
Daddys Gurl, 19 december 2011
My heart feels like its been ripped out thrown around, stomped on, stabbed a hundred times, and put back.I am now no longer on the top of the world.I am lower then the maggots in the ground.As they crawl all over me I wish I would just disrepair,
go away even if its to another world start all over and not even then will i feel better.
Daddys Gurl, 19 december 2011
As I sit here watching you kill yourself i am screaming inside.Wishing you would put the crack pipe down.Throw it away, brake it, do anything with it but put it to your lips.I hear the lighter echo in my head over and over agian.The smell makes me sick to my stomach. Smelling burnt plastic and another smell that i can not explain.It makes me want to get up and slap you.Knock some sense into your head.But I don't... because that will not helpI Sit here trying to talk to you but still nothing is changing.Its like I am just wasting my time but at the same time I aint.Im doing this over and over again fighting with you because I love you
Daddys Gurl, 17 december 2011
Sitting here in this dark room I feel as if the walls are closing in on me.
As i hold the blade in my hand against my wrist I think of all the people I will hurt, what will they lose, and who will care.
Why cant I just get the strength to slice my wrist or maybe even my throat so i will stop feeling this pain inside.
Sitting here in this dark room I feel as if the walls are closing in on me.
Everything is so blurry nothing makes sense.
Sitting in the corner rocking back and forth squeezing my hands tight together looking down at the blade I have placed next to me my hands start to cramp up I begin notice they are red and sweaty.
I feel as if the walls are closing in on me I look around the room and start to scream why do i have so much anger built up inside?
Daddys Gurl, 17 december 2011
I sit here in the dark looking up at the sky.
All the stars sparkling so bright.
Im thinking to myself where is he at this moment?
I miss him like crazy.
All the clouds move in as if there is going to be a storm and cover all but one star that is right over me.
As a smile forms on my face a hear laughter echoing in the wind.
I look around and no one is there but I am not afraid because daddy I know u are watching over me.
Daddys Gurl, 17 december 2011
We may not always get along but I still love you.Knowing I might lose you brakes my heart. There will only be one of you in my life time. I dont want to lose you like I lost my daddy.You are my everything and keep me going when I am down. We may not always get along but I still love you.As I sit here and think what will I do with out you here?I cry my heart out wishing I hadn't put you threw the things i have.I know you are stronge please pull threw this everything will be okay.All i can do is pray. You are my everything I have faith you will be okay.Mom i love you.
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