19 july 2016
You must not show any fear
(in answer to Yehuda Amichai)
You must not show any fear,
and have to have a tan
even if not using
the malaria tablets
that causes you to burn spots
(which I take anyway),
scared of fever, weakness
and death that comes without it.
You must not show weakness
and I am showering
in a hedged off shelter
pulling the string
from a bagged bottle,
being afraid that all of the country,
will wash away into the dark.
In the daytime I walk patrols with special force soldiers,
sometimes are flown in by chopper in for hot pursuit
on enemy tracks,
some nights are dropped by parachute from very high,
but tonight while the moon is rising big and white,
huge enough to inspect
the dark ditches, the valleys in it
I am showering in the middle of nowhere
in a small military base
and after the battle I came crashing down,
crashing down in myself,
start retching,
shaking without anyone noticing
but are still dedicated to staying alive
and people think of it
as the ordinary soldier thing.
[Reference: “You Mustn't Show Weakness” by Yehuda Amichai.]
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