tired

I can't sleep,, I've been awake for 21 hours..

I can't sleep,, I need to wake up at 8:30 am..

I can't sleep,, 2½ hrs left..

I can't sleep

so over with life

..recently I've been thinking a lot of things and I can't help but be depressed.. like why I am living??? I can't see any reason why I should still exist.. besides my family I dont think there's anyone who cares to me.. yes I have friends but I can't feel they appreciate me like they only need me because they want someone to be there with them,, like they don't like to be alone.. my best friend from childhood rarely says hi. we grew apart,, we dont even know what each other's favorite color.. yet she still claims I'm her best friend.. I have random friends,,they are all nice but I can't feel that sense of belongingness.. I'm so empty.. I'm struggling with my job,, everyone knows my situation but no one dare to check me every now and then.. often,, death is the only thing I see to escape this sadness.. I'm in a marrying age and still single while all my friends are married,, or if not yet married, they have kids.. and I don't have nobody..

It's Been Too Long

I can't remember when was the last time I logged in here,, it's been years.. recently I've been thinking things,, so much things,, I want to write it all down,, so it made me remember Truml.. so good thing I still know my password and even my email add,, so I was able to check my previous posts.. I hope I can visit more now than before and write things..
ok,, that's all for now,, I'm already sleepy and I can't think clearly..

You know Me

Lord..

You're omniscient.. 

No doubt You know what I'm going through and what I've been through.. 

You know when I'm in pain.. scared.. in sorrow.. and all the negative feelings that associates with it when I feel downhearted..

You know when I'm happy.. alive.. inspired.. and all the positive feelings that associates with it when I feel delighted..

And today..

You know I'm frightened, hopeless and broken..

Frightened that I might not pass tomorrow's challenges.. afraid that I may not find what I'm looking for.. broken that I'm still alone..

Embrace me Lord.. and show me Your unfailing Love..
Strengthen me Lord.. and teach me Your ways..
Hold me Lord.. and never let me go..

For In You I find peace.. loved.. and hope..
be my lighthouse.. heal my heart..
and never leave me.. ever..

day two..

it was'nt that obvious that i enjoyed being here at TRUML.. nah,, just kidding,, in fact i try to upload my few personal pix.. i'm a nature lover so of course mostly are nature-typed.. (for now..) but i'll try to capture a different shot.. (am not a professional.. all's were from my mobile)..
anyways..
take care you all..
God bless!!! =)

TRUML..

Well,, this is my first day at TRUML..
Someone introduced it to me.. named Wirgiliusz Poet.. whoever he is,, thanks..
I had the urge to fill this diary for me to remember this very day..
TRUML.. it's nice.. it's something I'm looking for sometime.. here, I can be myself.. meet new other people (hoping.. so add me whether you find me interesting or not,, if you like.. =D).. and do things I like doing most..
Hope that I can visit this more often..

Anyways...
Take care to all..
God Bless.. =)