Crying Consolation

I can’t see straight, reality’s a mess
My hearing is fading, my life’s but a test
There’s no good left inside me, I feel all alone
So I sit there in numbness and try to condone
These feelings I feel, these thoughts that I have
That knife on my desk, so easy to grab
I don’t want to live now, but I don’t want to die
I lay in my nothingness and console with my cries