Proza

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~CHAPTER ONE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As she stared at her reflection in the mirror, clear as the moon though she had just taken a shower, she heard a voice.
"Who are you kidding? Why don't you just do it?" said the voice. Dangit he's getting stronger while i'm busily trying to stay alive. It's like he feeds of my pain. "You might as well, it's no use trying to stay here any longer. I know you haven't got Rina to talk to because but she's mad at you anyways. The only other few things holding you back are Ginny, Danella, and Josh but Ginny has already threatened to call the phsyco ward. Danny is so afraid of you now a days she wont even speak to you. And Josh, how long has it been since you've spoken? Two years almost? Your dad is gone so he can't really scare you into stopping and your mother hasn't been to visit from her seat on the Angle Watchers in three weeks."
"Just because Rina's mad at me doesn't mean she doesn't care. We only had one argument. Not that big a deal." she stated. But it had been a big deal. This was their first fight and it had been about something pretty big. They haven't talked for about a week now and she had the feeling something big and very uncontrollable was about to happen. "I don't think i'll be able to deal with something like that," she thought.
" Oh contrare," said the voice " Even if it was you're first fight and she still cares she won't ever treat you the same again. Dont you remember what she said," he asked, amusment creeping into his deep yet somehow high pitched voice.
Of course she remebered what had been said that day.

It was the first of august, the wind was already begining to grow cold. They had been out for their morning walk in the park and they saw their hideout and decided to make sure no one had found it yet. Looking around she had seen her slingshot that she'd been looking for in the tree and went to get it. As she was climbing down she slid and Rina had come to her rescue. Thats when Rina had seen them, the scars and cuts, some of which had reopened on the way down.
"What did you do," she excaimed, fairly loudly.
"What do you mean Rina," asked Z confused. She tilted her head to the side like a cat that had just heard a new noise.
"You're wrists," Rina said impaitently. "Why are they all scratched and bleeding."
She thought for a moment and looked at her wrists. Biting her lip she sugested "Maybe they got all cut up when I fell."
Rina looked about to explode her face was so red. "From the fall huh? No, I don't like that answer. Try again."
"Maybe your dog scratched me there and when I fell it got reopened," she tried, but Rina didn't look very convinced.
"Maybe, maybe. Or maybe you'd like to tell me the truth? Cause I don't believe that Tracey or Miley did that to you. Plus those other cuts don't look all that resent," she said getting annoyed. She could all ready see the lie forming in her friend's eye. "Please tell me the truth Z. You know I don't like when people lie to me.
"I know you already know the answer or else you would have believed my first lie. Please understand the position i'm in before you lecture me," she said pleading with her friend.
After thinking for a moment she said "Z did you even think about how everyone that's involved with you in anyway would feel about this. Did you think about how this would impact me or Ginny or your grandmother. What about Josh, do you even care how this would change him," she asked, knowing that she'd get some response, not likely a good one. She new she'd get yelled at for playing that card.
"Did you think that maybe this wasn't about you or Ginny or grandma? Did you think that Josh still cares for me or that I care for him? Did you think that maybe, just for once, I was doing something that I thought would help me? Did you think that lecturing me would automatically change my view on life? Or did you just believe that after one stern talking to and a reminder that Josh was ever in my life that I would just say that you were right, I was wrong and then just go back to your place and be all better. Well it wont and don't even try saying everything will be okay cause it doesn't work that way, never has never will," Z screamed at Rina, furious. She should have realized that mentioning Josh was a big no no. Rina should have known that Z can't deal with even hearing his name. Forgot how a while ago.
"Don't you yell at her," said a voice from behind the tree. Eliza walked out from her hiding place, suprised to be stared at so angrily by both girls.
"Let me guess," said Z. "You came to back her up, didn't you." Then turning towards Rina she said "You really thought i'd get mad at you enough to hurt you didn't you. You know i'd never hurt you, or maybe you never knew me because if you did you would have known that i'd never harm you and you would have known that i'd only get madder if you brought her," she stated her voice quiteing but not softening. It was still harsh enough to make Rina, and Eliza flinch at every word. "Maybe we shouldn't be friends anymore if you believed that i'm so violent that i'd hit my best friend. I'll see you back at the house," she said her back turned towards them, on the verge of tears.
Rina apparently wasn't going to let her have the last word. "Fine Z run back home like the child you are. You know what I wouldn't want to be friends with someone like you. Your to jumpy, To serious at times that you should be joking. Who likes people like that. No wonder Josh hates you," she said laughing as if she had heard the greatest joke.
Eliza said something also but after Rina had finished Z had left and been gone. Within seconds she was already half way to the house, vision blury, tears staining tracks on her face. As she opened the door Rina's brother Anthony saw her eyes and ran after her up the stairs. Right when she had gotten to her room he grabbed her arm, turned her around, and hugged her as if trying to squeze the hurtful words his sister had said out of her head and heart then opened the door and walked in with her. There they spent hours talking, him trying to calm her down and find out what had happened while she was trying to think of a way to explain her wrist without another screaming match like her and Rina had had.

"She hates you just like Josh does," said the voice fading away but still trying to hurt her like Rina had.
Once the voice was gone she ran to Anthony's room grabbed a pillow and sat in the corner behind his door. She sat there, wishing for his track meet to be over so he would come home. She pushed her face into the soft pillow he'd given her when they had first talked and counted each tear that slowly and silently soaked the pillow.
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Anthony was home an hour later. Tired he slamed opened his door only to be met by his room, which he kept smelling strangley of chocolate after he had invited her into his room to talk because it was the only thing that really kept her calm for more than a few minutes, and a small yelp of suprise coming from behind his door. Almost instantly he'd realized who it came from and closed the door so that he could see her. Almost right after Z had been hit she'd placed her head back on the pillow. He could see that it was soaked with tears.
"Z, are you okay? Did I startle you?" His voice was so soft and low that nobody but her could have heard even if they had been standing right next to him. He acted like he was afraid that she'd start crying again, and he was. He didn't want her to be sad.
"I'm fine," she said afraid he was about to yell at her for being there.
When he looked into her eyes he knew something was wrong so he helped her up and walked her over to the bed so she'd be more comfortable and she'd talk to him. "You don't have to sit in the corner, you look like you're being punished," he said smiling her favorite smile. "When you're in here you're welcome to sit on the bed, I find it's much more comfortable."
She could tell he was about to ask what was wrong so readying herself for the questioning she forced a smile on her face and looked into his eyes, big mistake, they were so big and beautifly bright that she got lost in them. "I like mister corner, he doesn't judge me or make me explain myself. He's just happy to have company."
" Still i'm sure mister bed would like someone to talk to," he said grining. "Z, what happened. Did Rina talk to you again."
"No, the demon man did. He sounded stonger, like he's been feeding off my pain and misery," she said already seeing his eyes growing worried.
"You told me about him the first time we talked, remember," he asked.
"Of course I remember."
Her and Rina had just gotten in the fight that she wished had never happened. Rina had made her cry and she had ran home only to be stopped at her door by the worried expression of Anthony. He had hugged her until she couldn't breathe and then walked with her to his room and talked, neither one came out for hours except to use the restroom and to get a water bottle, which Anthony had gone with her to do because she was afraid that Rina would be down there.
He spent about an hour trying to calm her down while she had been trying to think of a way to explain how the fight had begun without him freaking out on her. When he had calmed her down the first thing they had talked about had been the fight.
"What happened. Why were you crying," he had asked concerned that she'd start crying again, but she didn't.
"Me and Rina had our first fight and now she hates me. I don't know if i can deal with that. We've been best friends for so long and now she wants nothing to do with me ever again," she said with a wimper in her voice.
"What was you're fight about," he asked with his voice full of wonder. He sounded so cute.
"Um, my wrists," she said quietly while pulling up the sleaves on both her wrists so he could see. Just as he was about to yell at her for cutting herself she pleaded him not to yell and told him why she'd done it. Once she was done explaining herself they stared at each other before she looked away nervously.
"You mentioned that someone was telling you to do it, who'd tell a little girl, barely a highschooler that she should die and that everyone hated her right after her parents died? What type of sick person would do that," he asked suddenly furious, as if someone had just told him that they had set his favorite shirt on fire and dropped it in the woods. She didn't know how to deal with him like this.
"The demon dude from my dreams, the one thats always trying to lead me into the dark room. He and my reflection are always fighting. My reflection is always calling him a lier, telling him to shut up and go away. She's so convensed that I have the power to make him leave, or at least thats what she calls it...power," she had said watching as his face change from disbeliefe to worry, beliefe, and confusion.
"Your reflection talks to you and so does some dude from your dreams. And your reflection says you have powers," he said more like a statement rather than a question but she answered him anyways.
"Yep, she was in one of my dreams too. She looked just like I do now but not like I had in the dream cause my hair was all white and my eyes were kinda lavenderish and I was really pale, kinda like I was an albino. She said that I was a witch and ever sense then i've been getting paler every day, hair and all," she said looking into the mirror behind him. Her reflection nodded as if to say that Z should tell him everything so she continude her story telling him everything that she could think of at the moment.
"We'll continue this later okay," he had said and then grabbed her hand and pulled her out the door, down the stairs, only stopping to let her pull down her sleaves at the bottom of the stairs.
By the time the memory was over it was time for dinner and she had her face buried in the pillow again tears following the tracks that had stained her face a week ago. "Z, come on. Lets go wash your face and eat." When she didn't get up he added "i'll be with you the entire time. It's your favorite," he teased the smile back on his face. She could hear it in his voice. For the first time in a week she smiled too.
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Just when things are starting to get better is when you should be worried not when things are sad and scary. Walking back to the house with Anthony beside her she finally felt happy. Today had been the first day of school and things had gone great. She was already top of her math, social studies, and english classes and she was first chair violaist in the school orcheastra. All that was missing was someone to share it with who was in all her classes and was happy for her. She finally felt like she might make a new friend and she hadn't felt the need to cut herself for three days. So why did she feel that something bad was about to happen all the time? Her and Anthony were talking about how much they were glad that school was back in session when Anthony looked at her as if seeing her for the first time.
"Z your hair is really pale, so is your skin," he stated, wonder in his voice.
"I know," she sighed. "So are my eyes. The vice principle says that I either need to put it back to it's correct color and get the dye out or have my gaurdian have it stated that this is my natural hair, eye, and skin tone."
First day of school and she'd already been called to the office. She'd most likely set a new school record, if not she'd at least set a new personal record.
"Rina's following us," he whispered in her ear trying to make it look like he was telling her a joke.
She automatically tensed up. She hadn't seen, talked, or heard from her for almost a month, and now she was following them. She tried to act as normal as possible but she didn't know how to deal with Rina anymore and had forgotten who she normally was.
"Should we say hi," she asked, edge in her voice.
"Do you really think it will do us any good?" he talked as if she hated him too.
"Us? What do you mean? She doesn't hate you she hates me and if she does hate you I don't see any reason for her to," she said, no longer caring if Rina heard. Now she was pissed. Rina had a reason to be mad her not Anthony. If she wanted to be mad at Anthony she'd have to answer to her.
"I'm helping you so automatically if you guys are enemies then i'm her enemy also," he said his gaze shifting to look into Z's eyes. When his eyes stared into hers for some reason her heart skipped a beat and she felt about to pass out.
"O-okay," she said stuttering because she could barely think.
After they got home they walked into the kitchen where Riley, the oldest daughter, was just setting cookies on the rack. Anthony had warned her she'd be coming over because she wanted to welcome them home with fresh sweets to eat after their first day of school. The second oldest daughter, Saly was also there because the college that she's going to is only four hours away and school didn't start for them for three more days. Saly was in her second year while Riley had already finished. Riley has a boy friend named Tony, who she is living with at the moment. He wasn't there.
Anthony and Rina both walked up to their sisters and gave them both hugs and kisses while Z just walked after Anthony and waved nervously. She hadn't seen them in three years and didn't know what to do. They all stared at each other for a minute before Riley finally talked.
"Aren't you gonna give us a hug Zo," Riley asked and she had never been happier. She ran up, hugged them and said hi before walking back to where Anthony was standing. Saly elbowed Riley in the ribs, pointed at us and whispered in her sister's ear. They both giggled.
Anthony took six cookies and walked up to his room, Z followed. "What were they giggling about," she asked before closing the door and taking her favorite pillow.
"I don't know," he said handing me a cookie. we laid down across his bed staring at the ceiling, muching the cookies we had taken. "Maybe they were laughing at your hair. It is becoming outragishly long and white." That remark normally would have desevered book to the face but she decided not to.
"Really. I like it better this way," she said twirling her hair on her finger.
"I was kidding Z. I like your hair too. It was just a joke," he said making her even more upset. "Hey look mom's home.''
Maybe it was getting out of control. Even the vice principal said so. Vice Principal. "Um just so you know the vice principal might have called about my hair," she told him worry in her voice.
"This is about to get interesting," said the demon excitment filling his voice. He sounded sad, weak.
"Z, come down here please,'' said Mrs Tam's, Anthony's mom's, voice. "I need to talk to you about a phone call I got at work."
"Will you come with me Anthony, please,'' she said fear filtering her voice.
"Of course, Baby Doll."
She loves his voice when he calls her that. So do I. You can practically hear the teasing smile pulling at his lips.