Donna Dolorical, 4 march 2012
Gaping windows of a weary soul
Raven vastness does enthrall
A drop of tear, a trickle of thought
From frailty, courage be wrought
Careful you, who from the light absconds
Put no faith in futile rondes
Solaced oblivion is naught but blight
Oh life lost unto the night
~2006/07
Donna Dolorical, 4 march 2012
The other day I chose to crash and burn
And last night I chose to flip and turn
As one good sonnet did starve Lizzie's love dry
Mine, I killed with one wooden block's sigh
Wood once burdened by a decade's worth of paint and paper
Which I scraped clean and covered anew last winter
For a worthful new life in another one's life
To where it's now gone, in my turnaround last night;
Yes, last night I walked away, didn't twist and look back
This dawn I search my heart's meanders, I wonder will I crack?
And as I stare at the empty space beneath the bed
The empty spaces seem to grow inside my head
Some part of me feels compelled to worry
A bigger part recalls my crash and burn theory
Though the danger is real for something so hollow to cave in
Something tells me, 'empty' means less to lose and more to gain
~Jan 2011
Donna Dolorical, 4 march 2012
Remember, remember the 31st of October
The evil powder and pot
I know of no reason
Why his death by poison
Should ever be forgot
.~*~.
You, inside a cold box
Is the one picture I really ought to mount
Morbid, but it's an anchor to reality
You're never coming back; I'm just sick-sorry
The hurting never stops, and the disbelief
Hands in my brain keep groping about
Desperate to catch even just a wisp.
And when I read your life
The penult always leaves me holding my breath
Half-expecting, half-hoping
There's gonna be a twist in the end
But always, the nightmare delivers
Leaves me feeling angry and cheated.
Over a decade past, still the tragedy hasn't paled
Still people ask, the what ifs, what could've beens
Every now and then the mind indulges, pretends
No poison was spilled, the river doesn't run empty
No, you're just in another continent
Far and away from your 'big, bad city.'
And yes, the delusion, the temporary suspension
Would hold till the next time I behold
That grim picture of you, cold inside a box
...
Tonight though, I lean against your wall
I haven't the heart to mount your photo
So instead, I listen to others talk
Of time machines and butterflies
The past, the future, and the fates
I say you should've lived
Some say you could've lived
Still others say, wishing so is just pure greed
Too soon or not makes no matter all
You were here once
and once should be enough, after all
~Sep 2010
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