Latest items:
Karen Degnan Foiles, 25 april 2013
Forgotten Mom
All I talked about was you
The months before you were home
Not a call or a text, but on facebook
I find out your home like everyone else
She got the surprise
A hug she could not even give
I’d given you hugs and kisses
And said I’m so proud and cry
I know you never meant to hurt me
But that night I cried like a baby
A mother needs to know she’s loved
Just like a son needs to be proud of
I wanted to know when you’d be home
So I could arrange some time to spend
You could not give me that
Yet it was the night before you left
You still haven’t changed
Still avoiding situations
Like not knowing how to tell people
You just want to hang with friends
But I’m YOUR MOM dammit
I think I have the right
To see you more than once
The 2 weeks you’re home from Kuwait
Maybe I wasn’t a good mom
Is this really what you think
But you won’t tell me
Cause you’ll avoid that just the same
She texted me to let me know you’d be home
So I called and texted,
I’m home on facebook you said
Yet no reply I got
Your actions speak louder
Than the few words you say
I see where I stand
In your small world you stay
** I wrote this after my son in the Army come home the first time on leave...
Karen Degnan Foiles, 25 april 2013
Frustration
Ah yes, the word frustration
It’s the maker of impatience
The words calm and collect
Have no relation
Just when you think all is right
You find yourself waiting for that moment
That check, that special person to arrive
Failure to deliver, trust taking a dive
When you count on something
And it does not happen
You get upset and uptight
You say never again
Then you do it all over again
Karen Degnan Foiles, 24 april 2013
You Bring Out The Best In Me
I can say things I never thought
You bring out the best in me
I can feel things I’ve never felt
You bring out the best in me
I can see things more clearly now
No more stress, only calmness
I can laugh out loud and be a little goofy
And it’s nice to know you really “get” me
The comfort I feel is unmatched and surreal
I can be myself and not worry to conceal
I have someone I love and need
You’re in my thoughts and heart indeed
Even as we sleep I feel I must reach
To make sure you’re not a blissful dream
The love we make, the passion we feel
Is like no other I have felt that was real
Karen Degnan Foiles, 24 april 2013
What's Done is Done
What's done is done
You can't go back and change it
It's time to move on
You can't rearrange it
You've paid your price
And it's time to proceed
No matter what your vice
Unsteady as it seems
You'll rise above anything
You rebuild your self-esteem
You feel like you're grasping
At a big ball of string
One string at a time
One day at a time
You're growing into
A better person in time
Karen Degnan Foiles, 24 april 2013
Under My Skin
Why do I let you get under my skin?
Like “tick” that buries in and stays there
Last night I laid in bed and stared into the dark
Wondering “was it love?”, then I chuckled No, not by far
Why do I feel like the biggest loser
When you revel in my ineptness
When “you” were the abuser
Your hand never rose yet I felt your slap
Leaving scars on my heart
Your words…Oh how they struck
Maybe it’s because you made me feel
Inadequate as a wife and mom
Sometimes you had a heart of steel
Maybe it’s his way of re-assuring his decision
So he can say that divorcing me
Has made him a better person
Or is it his way of making sure
That I continue to pay for the hurt
He feels everyday with regret
** About an Ex-Husband
Karen Degnan Foiles, 7 april 2013
Stronger Everyday
Everyday we get up
And feel stronger everyday
Everyday we get up
Glad to see another day
Some battles we have fought
Just to stay alive
Some battles we have fought
Just to see another day
Some battles we win
Some battles we lose
For reasons unknown
For reasons we choose
We all have our battles
That we must fight
Some harder than others
Some you take in stride
When your heart is full of love
You have the courage to fight
When your heart is full of love
You have everything to fight
Karen Degnan Foiles, 7 april 2013
Fractured Fantasy
They lived in a castle
Surrounded by a sea
And a forest of beautiful trees
Everything’s perfect
Everything is grand
The love of her life is holding her hand
Someone she loved was not who she thought
And shattered her dreams, she felt all was lost
She can’t have the life that she once knew
But instead have something that is so untrue
Does she dwell on the past or
What should have been
Does she accept the pain and
Move on thick-skinned
She knows what she wants
But was told not to feel
She looks back and sees
Only a fractured fairytale
Karen Degnan Foiles, 3 april 2013
That Moment
I knew I just met you
But I’ve known you all my life
That moment I first hugged you
I had felt a spark
That moment I first kissed you
I had no doubts
That moment we held hands
I understood God’s plan
Karen Degnan Foiles, 3 april 2013
Best Years of Our Lives
We’re older and wiser and
Love each other with all our might
We appreciate each other with respect
This is the best time of our lives
We may not have much time together
Since we met so late in life
But at least we can spend it during
The best time of our lives
We rush home with anticipation
To fall into each other’s arms
And cry happy tears of joy
Just to see each other again
We laugh and we cry, we dare not deny
The love we felt all along inside
A love that was meant to be
We’ve been feeling all this time
We just had to wait for the right time
When forever is never enough time
To spend together the rest of our lives
Dare I say I found Love "Again" ??
Karen Degnan Foiles, 3 april 2013
Live Through Another Day
Each day we wake up
We wish for the strength
To live through another day
Lord please keep me on
The straight and narrow
But do not judge me
When I stumble or falter
I hope and pray that tomorrow
Your love will wash it away
Thru all the denial and dismay
I’ll make it through another day
Because true love does not question
Something that is beyond comprehension
About Addiction
Karen Degnan Foiles, 3 april 2013
The line between Steps
Sometimes the line bewteen steps are crossed
Right now the line is dark and unapproachable
But to get past it you can only rise above...
About being a Step-Parent
Karen Degnan Foiles, 3 april 2013
No Lingering Feelings
The day he released me was a gift to find you
It was something that was long overdue
I don’t even wonder if the one I love is you
I feel so happy because I know my feelings are true
Knowing how I feel now and how I felt then
I can tell the difference between true love
And “trying” to hang on to a love of pretend
I have never been more sure of anything
I felt trapped in my feelings
I was too scared to speak up and say
You’re not good for me, so please go away
My stubborn pride was in the way
Because I was not about to fail again
To have my family look at me and say
And it’s happening all over again
She’s she cheated and done it again
Just another screwed up decision by a woman
Who won’t let anyone help with their supervision
So I stuck it out, knowing in my heart it was wrong
So I changed for that, knowing I had to be strong
The love I feel for you is so honest
No shame, doubt or feeling embarrassed
I allowed myself to open my heart to you
Because I knew from the start that I loved you
Written 2007 before I knew better... :-(
Karen Degnan Foiles, 31 march 2013
Frazzled
What a week
What a streak
Please don't say a peep
Let me enjoy my cup of tea
Freaky, frazzled
Weakly, Hassled
What I wouldn't give
For Mondays to be cancelled
Harried, Wary
Hurried, Buried
Time is blustering by
I'm always saying "Bye"
Heckle, Jekyll
Lies, Spy's
What the heck happened
Oh well at least the week
is unravelled
Karen Degnan Foiles, 31 march 2013
Just Me My Friend
Just me popping in
Seeing how ya been
Popping by is my style
Just where do I begin…
I wanted you to know
That I have missed you so
I'm sorry I have neglected
My true friend I have respected
My life is a whirlwind
In this spectrum called life
And is anything but sublime
Some days are like a roller-coaster
There are highs and lows
Some are fun and some scary
I know why I'm scared to call
It'll stir up old memories
That I'm not ready to deal or feel
I miss you my friend
I miss your laughter and your tears
I miss our friendship over the years
Not a day goes by
That I don't think of you
And I promise I will call you
This was written for a very good friend I have lost touch with.
5/1/06
Karen Degnan Foiles, 31 march 2013
Kinds of Loss
There's kinds of loss that can bum you out
The loss of a game
You lost your way
Losing your favorite pin
This can make you pout
But without a doubt
It is not a real big thing
The kind of loss that can make you shout
The loss of your job
The loss your car
When you could not pay
It left you confused
Feeling slightly defused
But then you can re-group
Then there a loss, that cuts deep within
My maternal rights that I tried not to win
So stupid to give up such a gift
To watch my boys grow, live with the man
that I've tried so much to get away
No school papers to hang on my frig
No more practices to run to at night
Now I that I am a part-time Mom
And try and do it all on my weekends
This was written about a very tough time in my life. My boys are older now but the feelings are still there.
= 03/20/2006 =
Karen Degnan Foiles, 31 march 2013
What's Done is Done
What's done is done
You can't go back and change it
It's time to move on
You can't rearrange it
You've paid your price
And it's time to proceed
No matter what your vice
Unsteady as it seems
You'll rise above anything
Try and rebuild your self-esteem
You feel like you're grasping
At a big ball of string
One string at a time
One day at a time
You're growing into
A better person in time
Karen Degnan Foiles, 31 march 2013
TORN
My feelings are so torn apart
I want to do what's in my heart
I want to support him in his troubled times
To help him while he's in his prime
To help point him in the right direction
And yet give him a mother's affection
He's so child-like in so many ways
Knows not of the worldly ways
He lives for the day in a careless way
He'll let his pride get in the way
The decisions he has made
Has filled him with self-conviction
They put him in a dark place
Where he feels alone and misplaced
His heart is truly beautiful
He has a smile from ear to ear
His actions are so innocent
He means no harm or fear
He knows what he wants to be
Someone who deserves much greatness
Someone he can be proud to be
But he has some things to address
So I'll stand by, watch him sink or swim
It'll hurt him more if he learns nothing
I'll let him know that I am here
And comfort him when
Things are not what they appear
** A poem I wrote for my son, when he was 18 he went through some very hard times... **
Karen Degnan Foiles, 25 february 2013
The Hard Way
Some of us do things the right way
But did not learn or achieve a thing
Some of us do things the wrong way
And just never seem to get away clean
Some of us do it the hard way
A little bruised but still turned out ok
Then there’s the hard way
Always seems to be my path of choosing
Even if it meant I risked losing
My precious time and my precious friends
I should listen, trust my instinct
And not second guess it seems
I’ll be mistaken again, betrayed again
The vicious circle continues once again
And take the hard way again today
Karen Degnan Foiles, 25 february 2013
So Many Questions
When I look in the mirror
I think back and see a girl
I realize now, I lost a part of her
Was I a normal girl?
Were you a girl like me?
Why did this happen to me?
How did this happen to me?
Didn't anyone hear or see me?
Didn’t anyone believe me?
I pleaded, cried and begged
And I said "no"
I'm confused, was this love?
Why was she this disgraced?
She did not ask for this
Now she is so displaced…
My feelings crippled and hurt
But I pretend everything’s ok
I go on living in day to day hurt
If I let you in, you would see my sin
You might see the real “Me”
That little girl yelling “Please No”
Sometimes when I look in the mirror
I can almost see that little girl
Before her past had changed her
She used to be happy, and carefree
All she wanted, was to dream
Can I be that happy girl again?
It's hard to let somebody in
When your heart has been exploited
It's hard to let someone go
When your pride has been destroyed
How can I do this all on my own?
How can I let you see my heart?
All I can do is try and do my part
Please, do try not to hurt me
Will "you" take care of me?
Or would you even care to see?
Why can't I make things clear?
The noise in my ears is deafening
Yet no one else can hear me
Sometimes I get so confused
Is this why I do what I do
When I hurt my loved ones so
I can't explain it
But I can understand it
At least it's best to know
Karen Degnan Foiles, 25 february 2013
Ready To Be On My Own
Let me grow into my own
You’re holding me back
But don’t leave me alone
I want my life on track
So don’t hold me back
I want to walk on my own
Cut my puppet strings
The ones that you reined
Your reaction is overblown
Let me spread my wings
And let me find out on my own
How life is going to play along
I am much bolder than you at my age
I have a mind but with less rage
I have a dream that needs to succeed
You’ve brainwashed me too long
I’ve walked your straight narrow
But now it’s time for me to fly
Don’t tell me I can drive
And then take away the keys
Don’t tell me this is my home
And then treat me like a disease
Don’t tell me we’re gonna do something
And then not follow through
You‘ll tell me it’s for the best
As long as it’s convenient for you
Let me grow up, let me be me
Let me do it on my own
It’s time for me to break away
A poem for my son when he was living with his dad when he was 18 and is ready to be on his own.
Karen Degnan Foiles, 25 february 2013
No Regret
I still can see your face
In an unexpected place
On TV or on the street
I can see your smile
Every once in awhile
Though, it was bitter-sweet
My thoughts slip back
As I close my eyes
To think of darker times
You were on your knee
Pleading, asking please
So sure I would not retreat
So crushed you were
When I shook my head
Too shaken to even speak
You knew before asking
Just what I’d say
But took a chance anyway
Again, I shake my head
and with no regret
Event though you cried and begged
Still, I would not commit
My heart belonged to another
A true love above all other
That is not what we were
This, I will not bend
So please do not contend
If you say you love me
Let me go for if I stayed
I may not love you in the same way
Karen Degnan Foiles, 25 february 2013
I Got An Email Today
I got an email today
It said an old friend of mine
Had died today
God had drawn the line
And his weary body
Was ready to cross it
His family is at a loss
But just maybe
His spirit is ageless
I got an email today
It made me think of tomorrow
And to reflect back at the time borrowed
What would you do
If the doc told you
Your time has grown short
Get your life in order
And say your goodbyes
To your husband or wife
Say your goodbyes
To your kids
When they were your life
I got an email today
It told me life is too short
To short to sit back and waste it
Karen Degnan Foiles, 23 february 2013
911
I remember I woke to the sound of chaos
First I thought it was another bombing inIraq
Turned off the radio and turned on the news flash
I couldn’t believe this was an attack
All those people caught in panic and terror
When the first tower fell, I thought was an error
Then the second deflated like a bag of air
But with the utmost despair
All those people running for their lives
I couldn’t believe it to see such demise
Fear and disbelief running ram pet
An un-waking hideous nightmare of time
The news cut in and said, the pentagon was hit
Oh my gosh I thought, could this be it
I look up to the skies as I drive to work
I hear there was another plane, it hit the earth
They said it was headed for theSearsTower
Oh no, that’s where my husband works
I tried to call him, and I couldn’t get through
I don’t even remember my 2 hr commute
I felt guilty as hell because here I sit
He could be Bin Laden’s target
When I heard they changed their rout
I rush came over me, I let it all out
I finally spoke to him, he was scared as a boy
The building was roped off, they let everyone out
The train station was packed, people were jumping the tracks
All they were doing was looking to be safe
That was all that mattered
Panic and hysteria filled the air
But once on the train he said it was eerie
No one said a word, only the sound of a radio
Everyone hanging on every word
A sign of relief as they drove further away
No one on that train will forget that day
They could have been the next to die that day
And instead they go home and feel safe again
I never felt so happy about a plane crashing
But my husband, my life, my everything
Was not going to die at least not that day
I thank the passengers that gave their lives that day
They knew they would never see their families again
They knew they were traveling a human bomb
I feel for the families who lost their loved ones
I cannot imagine how they felt
The parents, the wives, sons and daughters
Sisters and brothers, friends and lovers
Karen Degnan Foiles, 23 february 2013
A Birthday With No Presents
I don’t care how much is spent
When it’s my birthday
I like to open presents
It could have been anything
A silly little poem
wrapped with a bow
I bought my own present
I said it was from you
But you didn’t pick it out
Now did you
The card was beautiful
I gotta give you that
You then took a 10 hour nap
Here I am feeling guilty
Cause I’m being a brat
Karen Degnan Foiles, 23 february 2013
Cast Judgment
“Live free n easy with no resentment”
Oh what a careless statement
I don’t think that’s even possible
In a world that casts judgment
So quick to accuse when challenged to a duel
A cowardly try to get you to cry
Even when your feelings were feared
You’re not there to be sheared
And laughs when you’re made the fool
Since they have the power to be cruel
Heed the signs or cast the stone
Ignoring the screaming groans
When you’re the one cut to the bone
Then expect your help in return
Expect reward when their job is done
Karen Degnan Foiles, 23 february 2013
Better off
I've been doing some thinking
'Bout this new path I'll be taking
It'll be really scary without you
When I've counted on you for everything
I'm strong in spirit
And will not give up and quit
But I believe in my heart
That is just what you did
I grew up in a house
Of love and hope
You grew up with
Common sense and dope
I am the dreamer
My eyes wide shut
You're the controller
Eyes on the buck
Our love was started in sin
Yet we threw caution to the wind
We found the fantasy mirage
And thought we could beat the odds
Oh how we struggled
Just to be together
I guess you were just tired
Of”trying” to love another
I never gave up on love
But I gave on you
I guess that why I did
What I did to you
You've done me a favor
My future I'll savor
Because "Better off" I'll be
To finally live my life
For "I" and not "We"
Karen Degnan Foiles, 23 february 2013
Anticipation
Looking out the window
Looking for your car
Wondering if that’s you
Looking from afar
Can’t wait to touch you
Can’t wait to see you
Can’t wait to feel you
Can’t wait to breathe you
When I hear your voice
When we talk on the phone
Oh, how my impatience grows
I want to see you so
I can hear your car
Pulling in the drive
I stand waiting inside
My heart racing with desire
As I hear your footsteps
Walking down the hall
Place your things next to the wall
Oh was that my heart that leapt
I finally see the love of my life
Waiting for me!!
With a gleam in your eye
And your arms open wide
Your arms wrap around me
Oh so warm and safe
As I look up into your eyes
I feel my knees start to cave
You’re who I waited for
Each and everyday
Karen Degnan Foiles, 19 february 2013
Hidden Talents
Many times you've heard them say
"You never know until you try it"
Who cares if it's less that perfect
Your reason to try, can be many things
Boredom, a dare, a bad dream
A time in your life for growing
So you sit down and write
And to much to your delight
Who knew you'd have a new talent
They've been inside your head
You can wait to see
Just what all these words mean
They have a life of their own
A story evolves, the words unknown
You can't wait to get to the end
When it's time close and the story is done
You take the time to sit and ponder
My goodness was this me
I can't believe that
I made this masterpiece!
Karen Degnan Foiles, 19 february 2013
Runaway
Runaway into the night
Runaway without a fight
Have you slept at all tonight?
Have you thought about your future?
This is not something you can suture
This is such a hard way to mature
Do you have shoes on your feet?
Do you have enough to eat?
Are your plans set in concrete?
You think that this will solve
The problems you can't resolve
Are now problems that will compound?
It's not too late, but the clock ticks
Come back and face the music
Come back and share your feeling
Things aren't always what they seem
Come back, and let out a scream
Share your pain, and let your healing begin
Let the hope of love get under your skin
And bring you back home again
Karen Degnan Foiles, 19 february 2013
Another Chapter
Another chapter ending and another to start
Another heart descending, another heart departs
My life is an open book, for all to see
As I write these painful memories, and my wonderful journey
Excited about the future and frightened by it too
Each day grows closer to my new history
I take a step towards the bright mystery
Discoveries to be sought and lessons learned
Who know what they will be
For only god does know that for sure
Latest comments:
3 may 2024
violetta
Drzewka do jedzenia:)
1 may 2024
Tak;)
1 may 2024
kb
złotej*
1 may 2024
kontoler żłotej poświaty
1 may 2024
samo życie, każdy swoje brudy ma, lepsze czy
1 may 2024
romantyczny to romantyczny, prawdziwy taki
1 may 2024
ten ketchup to fakt, trzeba przypilnować przy
1 may 2024
interesujący przekaz, jak dla mnie o własnej
1 may 2024
ucieczka z przewidzianym powrotem to też stabilizacja...
29 april 2024
Nie jest niczym podyktowany:)
29 april 2024
sam53
nic nowego, wszystko mam pod kontrolą... tak
29 april 2024
a jak wygląda nieromantyczny pocałunek...?
4 may 2024
Satish Verma
3 may 2024
absynt
3 may 2024
wiesiek
3 may 2024
Satish Verma
1 may 2024
Satish Verma
30 april 2024
Satish Verma
29 april 2024
Satish Verma
28 april 2024
Jaga
28 april 2024
Satish Verma
27 april 2024
Jaga