Diary

I reached out my hand. Hoping you'd take mine with yours. To pull me up to stand, knowing it would never be like I once did. As you barely wrapped your hand around mine, as you pulled me up. I still felt enough of your skin to feel warmer inside then I had in a long time. Way before I knew the meaning of pretaining I was fine. I promised myself it would be a moment to let go, but once again I didn't know. The wave you hold against me, stopped telling the truth, and now I've stopped to wonder, where is all I loved about you. I missed being a part of your world, as the orbit it spun around changed. I try to say it's no big deal, not that much has ran away. But I hardly feel your smooth hand, with his soft surface and sweet touch. I never knew it was possible to love someone to death, but now I wonder if I'm the living dead. How can I be me, if this me was born when you begn existing in my life. Before you, I was the mouse, and everyone was a prey, then an angel came down and dropped off you, my prayers were asked, and I thought you were heavenly through and through. What am I suppose to do, when I never thought life would get so rough, I would have to see the reality of losing you. I have to believe any love can be renewed, and you may someday love me too. As you love her, as you run to everything love can do, as long as she is with you. And I try to fight the pain, but all my plans have been erased. And I don't know how fate can create, diamonds and then cover them with dirt. You can tell me everything is alright, but you're not the one who has to face their hurt every night, you're the one that shot my light. How can everything be alright, when you won't ever again hold me tight, and you dream of her all night. How can everything just be right, when all I wished for flew so far out of sight, and what I loved the most, doesn't want to spend time with me 'till night. How much can you really expect me to give up the fight. A peace lays as I recall all those distant days, when you pulled me to my feet, without any kind words to say, but your hand was enough to make my whole heart wish you would always stay. You're stuck in you, but I thought that was just you, so I thought of it as okay. But now she's showed up, such a love in your life. And you don't know what you'd do, if you didn't call her every night. I think of all those times, I asked you to call, but you would rather fall to video games. You never let me listen to your life, but now she's no every detail of your life, and I wonder if you know how painfully it is to have never unstabbing knifes. I felt your fingers, wishing my disppointments and letdowns farwell, you said our friendship was still in your life, even when I get so annoyed that that's not me your hanging to, and falling like I always wished if only you would do. I feel a piece at your happiness, the true friend has faded and I will forever mourn over him. The one I fall to my betrayal for has dropped away, but life holds up memorable things. I remember his pleasure at hauling me to my feet, the laughter in his voice, as my legs would not acorprate. Everything you were to me, all the things I love in you to see, wishing you would one day fall for me, but you're so oout of my lead. Now you do what you use to hate, and care about yourself, more then someone else's heart's fate. The one I first met, has been thrown away, I would trade my house if he would have stayed. But those times have pasted, why can't the best things in life ever last?!!!