Poetry

Lachlan T GRAY
PROFILE About me Poetry (3)


Lachlan T GRAY

Lachlan T GRAY, 8 november 2011

69.2 'We Don't Know Nothing' FM

G'day your listening to the morning show, my names Jim
Gooooodmooooorning listener's, also here is Tim... and Kim
Beeeeeauuuuutiful weather today, top of 22
Rain possible shower, or maybe just a few
Heck what would I know, I'm just a commercial radio host
I'm not a meteorological-political-entrepreneur, I got no credentials to boast
Hey I'm not even funny, well some people they might laugh
But the people with wit, well my humour just makes them barf.
So what's this carbon-tax? What about China and the U.S.A
Do I look like a power-station? Why should the average Joe have to pay 
And what about those Asylum's, why should we give em a hand
Do we look like a Zoo? Does it look like we have plenty of land
Tell us what you think, what's your say on restaurant 'cakege'
Call us up on 1300BOGAN, we'd love to hear what you 'makege'
Txt us on 1975LAME, do you think Kim should get a dog
She started this new fitness craze, called 'Fatty go for a jog
Lets cross now to Holy America, our celeb tracker over the ditch
What 'WAR' is on the line? 'Petraeus speaking my little Ranga btch
'Propaganda-lies-Big Mac, brainwash the average folk
'God we need all Oz can give, holy sht-balls were broke, '
KFC has a special 'All Chicken Heart-Attack FREE! ', hormones included
Did I mention the obesity epidemic? Should I have not intruded
Hey Jim where's Kim gone? Damn! hasn't she gained allota pound
Tim giver her the sack, get a blonde bimbo, this time not so round.


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Lachlan T GRAY

Lachlan T GRAY, 8 november 2011

1861 Medway Ranges Massacre

Yes it's that time again, the race that stops the nation
spending your weeks wage, splash the green notes around
the first Tuesday of November, all aboard the TAB station
You'll see the sad faces, as the losing tickets scatter the ground
you'll hear the screem's of ecstasy, the cheer of the winning sound
little jockeys riding up high gallop together, while celebrities whip up a muck
bet it will rain again, dreak day perfect for a duck
School children run home, Grandpa says we can watch the race
it's in our blood he says, it's a True Blue Aussie Tradition
it might even win us a holiday, kid's it could be our saving grace
I put my pensioner money on a winning horse, Man On A Mission
or did i bet on the other winning horse, Band Without A Musician
just remember not to tell Grandma, she's gone to get me some beer
keep it a secret and ill let ya have one, you got that clear my dear
So your wearing a matching tie I see, your partner she looks amazing
that's nice Champagne your drinking, which horse do you think will come first
dont know I just come for free piss, then go home all guns blazing
What about you darling, whose the hungriest whose got the thirst
where's the damn toilet, I'm about to bloody burst
i hear the VIP tent, is full of notable celebrities
look i dont care bout that, my bladder needs the amenities
Seven Hundred and Ten gold sovereigns cash, and a hand-beaten gold watch
Australia was mourning the deaths, of the great explorers Burke and Wills
but nontheless ladies flocked there, gentlemen followed with a scotch
Men in a suit with a hat, ladies in a dress with frills
they came from everywhere, came running down the hills
it was a jolly good race, a great win for all
well not for the broke, twas such an all in brawl
And so remember the greats,  Makybe Diva, Farlap, Archer
we remember them with a drink, or two or eight
we remember all the money spent, left to our departure
We remeber Dam Enda Everage, never forget her outfit mate
we remember the boring presentation, what great debate
next year will be the same, the same as 1861
someone please tell me who has lost, and who has really won.


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Lachlan T GRAY

Lachlan T GRAY, 8 november 2011

Plus Sence

Hello how do you do, please to meet you my name is Bill
iv'e come forth today, with plenty of lives and time to kill
you see a need a favour, i need allot of honey
because on my side it's greener, it's plentiful it's sunny
I travel everywhere, visiting the rich and the poor
don't be shy say hello, i'll be a' knocking on your door
i do not discriminate, whether your fat, greedy, black or white
i will even join you for tea, and a slice of cake to bite
What i need don't grow on trees, don't fall from the sky
i planted a tall poppy years ago, the man he would never lie
ofcourse it makes the world go round, mind you causes plenty of hate
China he will tell you, his a trillion and one good mate
It may take hours to earn, yet please spend it in a flash
i love that wholesome feeling, empty hands with no cold cash
yes it will keep your wife happy, probably even buy you some love
spend it all just spend it, just remember don't wait for the white peace dove.


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