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Poetry

	Jock Engelman
	PROFILE About me Friends (16) Forums (2) Poetry (34) Prose (5) Photography (1) Graphics (11) Diary (2)

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Jock Engelman, 23 january 2012

Its My Fault, My Fault

as I sit here all alone;
I remember to myself;
that it is all my damn fault;
I am the one who screwed up;
I am the one who pushed you away;
now as I cry to myself;
I realise its my fault;
And the tears flow more freely;
how could I do this to us;
This should not have happened now;
If life felt meaningless before;
Imagine what I feel now;
Knowing it is all my fault;
And you just tried to help me;
See I am afraid of life;
All cooped up like a caged bird;
no chance to spread my wings wide;
always being the strong one;
but really just dying inside;

number of comments: 0 | rating: 4 | detail

Jock Engelman, 9 february 2012

A New Perspective Of An Old World

The floor boards tremble to the rhythmic sound;
Combined with the stamping feet on the ground;
The screeches and growls bounce off the walls;
Completely surrounded, yet alone;
The fruitless ringing of a mobile phone;
The clashing of bodies, fully unheard;

A scene of such beauty, yet such horror;
As coloured lights spin over the walls and floor;
I cant even feel my heart beat its beat;
Vision blinded by red, white, and blue lights;
Unable to tell the day, from the night;
People streaming in from all over town;

Nostrils assaulted by terrible scents;
Mixed with the sights and sounds this world presents;
Engineers this feeling of estacy;
My shouts, shrieks, and screems are masked by the band;
Each tone strummed by the magical hand;
Here I belong, at this metal concert;

number of comments: 0 | rating: 4 | detail

Jock Engelman, 1 february 2012

I want to hear Goodbye

The memories of you
Are engraved within my heart
Nothing in this world
Could ever tear us apart
Because you’re not here
Some think that you’re gone
But I tell them better
Let’s say you just moved on
I try to stay positive
To keep you watching over me
Some think it’s crazy
But I know you’ve got to be
We were pretty close
I hope I can say
You were so pretty
I’ll never forget those days
You were such a fun person
And your personality was great
All the girls loved you
only some you could hate
I know how you were
And how you were so shy
But I wish you told me one thing
I wish you would have said goodbye…
Your future was great
You had so much in store
When I’m forced to think of it
It rots me to the core
I spend most of my time
Thinking of you
And reminiscing of the things
We said we’d do
What I wouldn’t give
To be in your place
I’d give the whole world
Just to see your face
Some say I’m going crazy
Or maybe insane
But they don’t understand
This heartbreaking pain
You were my drug
My source to get high
But I really do wish
You would have said goodbye…
I’ve been thinking of the days
When we used to sit together
I now cherish those moments
I also hope you remember
You’re always in my head
And I can’t get you out
I get so mad at times
That I just want to shout
I feel as if pieces are missing
Like a book with no end
Too late to tell you how I feel
Now and forever, only a friend
My old memories of you
Fly by me fast
And everything I remember of you
Is now in the past
All the sweet thoughts of you
Brings a tear to my eye
I miss you so much
I wish you’d say goodbye…
I hope heavens good to you
And I hope you get your Wings
An maybe when I get there
You can show me all the beautiful things
I really don’t want to say it
But please wait for me
Knowing your up there
I really can’t wait to be
That day when angels came down
Was a sad day of grief
When I first found out
I stood in disbelief
Although you’re gone
You still feel so close
Maybe it’s the thought
Of missing you the most
I wish this was a joke
A foolish student’s lie
But you have no idea
Please…tell me goodbye…
Ill always be here for you,
You will forever be missed…

R.I.P. SEAN JAMERSON 2/12/11

number of comments: 4 | rating: 4 | detail

Jock Engelman, 13 march 2012

The Triumph Saint

I'm soaring, it's roaring, no longer boring;
I'm laughing, it's flying, no longer crying;
No longer captive, I'm smiling, it's freedom;
I'm crazy, it's hazy, no longer angry;
I'm blooming, it's fumming, no longer grooming;
No longer destined, I'm unread, it's unsaid.

(p.s. if anyone wants to know what a triumph saint can look like, it is here at this link: http://motorivista.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/triumph-saint-motorbikes-422x281.jpg )

number of comments: 2 | rating: 3 | detail

Jock Engelman, 28 december 2011

Rest of My Days

To all I have lost;
To all I have gained;
To all I Now miss;
To all I now love;
To all Who I have lost;
To all Who I have gained;
To all Who I now miss;
To all Who I now love;
To Sara Pipar;
To Nathan Greenerway;
To Carl Pace;
To Sean Jamerson;
Most of you were lost;
Just this past year;
I write this poem;
Just to show;
That you all will be in my heart;
For the rest of my days;

number of comments: 0 | rating: 4 | detail

Jock Engelman, 2 april 2012

Plant, Grow, Die, Plant

Seeds Planted in our first interaction;
Seeds of new emotion and affection;
Were placed deep within my chest cavity;
A new source of poetic inspiration;
Hidden in my heart of dissociation;
Just like an unknown time-bomb of beauty;

It blossoms, my heart stolen in your possession;
For once it's not just manipulation;
Flowering into a bed of roses;
This was going to be a dedication;
Of my admiration and affection;
But it all went wrong before I could finish;

I thought you could repair the damaged section;
To re-animate my self appreciation;
The blossomed roses begin to wilter;
Petals black with discolouration;
But for one I perform a resurrection;
To remind myself why I cannot love;

number of comments: 2 | rating: 3 | detail

Jock Engelman, 9 february 2012

Tears Tears Tears and Many More Tears

Tears, tears, tears, and many more tears;
As they fall I hope that no one hears;
How vunerable I am inside;
And I curl up into a small ball;
To protect my emotions from all;
So I can be insecurely safe;

Tears, tears, tears, and many more tears;
My heart has become full of new fears;
All I want to be is in your arms;
Where the world can do me no more harm;
But I'm afraid of my twisted mind;

Tears, tears, tears, and many more tears;
My mirror's reflection only leers;
Loathing who I am forced to become;
As I am my own worst enemy;
Silently being judged on harsh terms;

Tears, tears, tears, and many more tears;
Held deep inside for such many long years;
Now feeling positive emotions;
Which I had believed to be long gone;
Feelings I lost with the death of Sean;
Leave me alone, like I feel inside;

number of comments: 2 | rating: 3 | detail

Jock Engelman, 7 january 2012

Tears

Tears fall like rain
Tears fall like rain from my eyes
Like a rainfall from my eyes
The pain I was caused
You put it all on me
I was destroyed because of you
Now I wish I could go back
To the love I now hate and despise
To the wonder that you took away
To the happiness I will never know again
And to the days I did not cry
The days where all I could be was happy
Those things taken away
As the tears fall like rain from my eyes

number of comments: 0 | rating: 3 | detail

Jock Engelman, 28 december 2011

The Final Farewell

To say our final farewell it happend not that long ago.
Our final farewell, I remember it so clearly.
Our final farewell, I remember your smile.
Our final farewell, I remember how proud you were.
Our final farewell, I remember how your life was perfect.
Our final farewell, I remember how it all turned all so quick.
Our final farewell, I remember how ur family burned that night.
Our final farewell, I remember how I saved your life.
Our final farewell, I remember how it destroyed your life.
Our final farewell, I remember our last conversation.
Our final farewell, happened like any ‘goodbye’.
Our final farewell, you seemed happy.
Our final farewell, funny how life goes so fast.
Our final farewell, you seemed to enjoy life.
Our final farewell, you seemed to enjoy everything,
Our final farewell, I remember the conversation.
Our final farewell, i bought you three years more.
Our final farewell, I wish i had been there for you.
Our final farewell, sometimes it haunts me.
Our final farewell, it happened so quick.
Our final farewell, I didn’t know I wouldnt see u alive again.
Our final farewell, my insomnia becomes unbearable.
Our final farewell, my depression hits the lowest.
Our final farewell, your lifeless body.
Our final farewell, I tear up inside.
Your final farewell, happened on the 2/12/11, when you were stabbed to death.

number of comments: 0 | rating: 3 | detail

Jock Engelman, 29 january 2012

When I look Into Your Eyes

When I look into your eyes,
the world dissapears.
I forget my worries, problems,
stresses and all my fears.
Your my breath of air,
your my light of day.
When my words cluster up,
you always seem to understand what I say.
You give me reason,
to wake up tommorow and the next.
You so easily make my day,
with so little as a text.
I'm so in love with you.
I will never hurt you.
When I speak to you,
you'll always know it's true.
Well that's if it's a serious subject.
I will never raise a hand to you,
I'll raise a hand to someone else,
for messing with or hurting you.
Your my everything
and in-between.
When I look into your eyes,
it's the greatest sight I have ever seen!

number of comments: 2 | rating: 3 | detail

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Other poems: Plant, Grow, Die, Plant, Sigh Sky Sigh, The Butterfly (Don't Die My Butterfly), Instant Opinons Of The Upper Class (The Judged, Judging the Judge), Running Rampart Rat Race, The Triumph Saint, Look! Look! Gone! Gone!, Flames and Ashes, Skin Deep, A Silvery Lullaby Potion, An Average Perspective On A Microcosm, Poetic Disappointment, A New Perspective Of An Old World, Tears Tears Tears and Many More Tears, I want to hear Goodbye, When I look Into Your Eyes, Its My Fault, My Fault, Until the Day, About Love, I Wonder, Tears, Stories Of Our Lives, A Thousand Fair Suitors, my daily routine… is there something wrong?, How can i fill the void?, is it the Dark I fear or the Unknown?, Bully, bully go away… make me cry again another day, The Fate of Hate, can only be Hate, Whats Wrong With Society?, Suicide, The Eternal Internal Struggle, Innocence, k3y to saving th3 brok3n h3art; is surviving!, The Final Farewell, Rest of My Days,

Latest items:

Poetry

Its My Fault, My Fault

A New Perspective Of An Old World

I want to hear Goodbye

The Triumph Saint

Rest of My Days

Plant, Grow, Die, Plant

Tears Tears Tears and Many More Tears

Tears

The Final Farewell

When I look Into Your Eyes

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