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Poetry

Genia Arnett
PROFILE About me Friends (4) Poetry (4)

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30 january 2012

What used to be

I'm enveloped in you and me
or atleast what used to be.
I'm tired of the lies,
the lies you supply.

My heart lays in peices
broken like glass.
A puzzle left to peice together

Apologizes can's fix this shattered me.
I cry and grieve
On what used to be.


number of comments: 1 | rating: 15 |  more 

Ailill,  

I like the way the poet verses their dissatisfaction with lies in this piece... I also think if I was doing this I might edit it some more.. there are a few places with words together.. and some syntax issues.. I am assuming that you meant 'apologizes can's fix this shattered me...'? Right.. because a reader may want to fix it.. to this: 'apologies can't fix this shattered me..' also I would change atleast to 'at least..' still I like how this piece verses frustration with their loved one.. good piece.. thanks for the read, and allowing me to comment..

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other poems: What used to be, Pain, Love Game, Love,
 

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