Poetry

Ashley Carlisle, 5 march 2012

My Soul

I lay here in my bed thinking of you.


Thinking of what I will never be able to do again now that
you’re gone.


Thinking of how much I miss the touch of you stroking my
hair as I drift off to sleep.


How you would always find a way to make me feel better than
I ever have.


How you would care for me and make me smile.


How you would hold me whenever I asked you to.


How you always told me nice things to make me smile.


How you would protect me like I’m gold.


How you would look at me like I’m the most beautiful person
in the world.


How you were willing to do anything for me.


How you would sing me songs to help me sleep.


How you would hold my hand and never let go.


How you would forgive all of my faults and always take me
back.


How you always stood by my side.


How you would let me cry on your shoulder when I wanted.


How you always saw the good in me.


How you loved me.


Now I lay here in my bed wishing that I had you back with
all of my heart.


Now I lay here with my soul hurting with the lost of you in
my life.


Now I pray every night for your return, even though I don’t
deserve it.


Now I lay here gasping for air as I cry for you.


Now I lay here wanting you more than anything.


Every night I lay here thinking of the things that you did
for me.


Every night I look at the sky praying that I will have
another chance.


Then I remember what I did to you.


How I used to make you cry.


How I used to me a terrible person to you.


How I couldn’t see what you saw in me.


How I questioned why you wanted to be with me.


How I used to take out my anger out on you when you didn’t
deserve it.


How I used to treat you.


Now I lay here thinking of what is best for you and not for
me.


Now I lay here praying that you are happy with the person
that you are with now.


Now I lay here hoping that you will move on without me and
find true happiness.


Now I lay here crying because of how much my soul hurts
saying this.


Now I lay here believing that if we are truly meant to be
that we will meet again in the future.


Now I lay here dealing with my pain.


Now I lay here crying because I can never give you this poem
as it may ruin your happiness with the one that you are with now.


Now I lay here crying my soul out as I want you to be with
me but I know that now is not the time.


Now I drift off to sleep, my eyes red as blood, my soul
broken into pieces, my body yearning for you, my heart and soul wanting to be
with you.


Now I will sleep and repeat all of this the next night, for
the rest of my life.