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You're not here, and I'm not there
That makes me sadder than ever
And leaves my mind impaired
I consider you to be a line of hope
But instead, I decided to never
Join the circus and walk your tight-rope
I will call you to tell you
Just so you can remember
Except you don't answer the phone
Tears fall in quickly
But don't calm the desert
Since it is big and empty, It feels alone
When evidence of the storm isn't shown
The heat returns to its forever
Only to await a love never known
It would be fun to be under the covers nude
Fresh and clean, Like your favorite fruit
And when we would share all of our sweet juice
We'd then begin our sexual drug abuse
I would get as close as I can get, and then try to push a lil' further in my nakedness
Then give you my drug, and feel better when you take it
The smell of desire, heating our bodies like a lustful radiator; My mind taken by only silent movements
Slow strokes to boost passionate energy
Our minds begging and screaming
To give us a an intense mystery
All but rushed is what we are
It's like time stops, but we move on
And when we enter another galaxy, we find that we can make our own gravity
By substituting some kind of nature, that will sooner or later might remind us of reality
And when we return, we just come back to our sexual academy
Lifeless. Emotionless. That is what you are
You cut hurt my sould. You left a scar.
You`ve cut and have been over the years
Your`e scum and you`re not worth my tears
Every boy I meet
Ends up cutting to deep
So before we ever meet
I get cold feet
Yes I see that masked face
I see what you`ve painted upon your face
Well you`re not worth my tears
You`re not worth a damn thing
So exspect you to keep on cutting
These scars will remain here
Tattoed on my body throught these years
You will remain as my hurtful memory
Turn away. You are scum to me
I love the way you make me scream
Just before I`m about to cream
Nude and wet
It`s addicting how you make me sweat
It`s intoxicating how you tease me
Running your hands all over my body and squeeezing me
FLickering your eyes to my lips
You`re hands gripping my skinny hips
Legs wrapped around you in the air
I love how you pull my hair
I love how you swiftly dip
Nibbling my earlobe as you pull up my hips
Just as you make me cum
I grip the sheets until we`re done
The experience is amazing
I love you baby
Mystery man, where are you
History man, when were you
Frankly it flatters me
When you say those little things that matter to me
I must say I love your originality
I feel as I`m falling
At points I`m crawling
For more of you
For more of us
I might die without this love dust
Secret fantasies roam in my head
Touching, Roaming fingers in bed
You are what I trust
So talking to you is a must
At this point I am weak
I break down, I don`t sleep
You continue to tease me
I can`t help but want you to please me
I have this pain that won`t leave
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Be me or steal me
Believe In me and heal me
Be the heart that no longer beats
Be the box that I lie in on the city streets
Put a smile on my face before the world snatches It off
Forever lasts or so I thought
I walk around all by my lonesome
Waiting for the chance to do something I`ve never done
I hope I don`t loose myself along the way
Because when It comes to acting I`ve got the best part in the play
When the rain falls reality sets in.
I`m lost rather than careless; I`ll let the forever soothing water free my sins.
Please God help to open my eyes
Because I`m tired of wearing a disguise
Weary and cold I sit in my box again
Wondering when I'll get out of the mess I'm in.
I don't want to kill myself with a gun
Because to me that would seem petty
Nor do I want to slit my wrists like an 'emo' - emotional fake, I say-
I don't want to give you the satisfaction that you so secretly want
I can see it in your face. I can smell your fear
Of " Will it be me first, or her; doing what should have been done long ago"
Let's face it. Everyone gets lost in there own version of reality.
I'm not going to pretend that I was depressed
Because I know that the outcome I presumed would be irrational
It would be insane to think that you would be happy because you got what you desired.
I didn't kill myself. I didn't die unexpectedly.
I just disappeared where I can see you and everything you do.
Because you set me free, I can see the happiness you so greedily hid.
Let's get crazy together and go to the same institution
We can mentally fuck each others brain out
And when we're done, we can hold each other like a pillowcase in this soft cage
And when we make our escape we can go to the same safe house
We can take the same medications
We'll share the ones that make us mentally unstable
When we become each others drug
We can spill our fantasies out on the dinner table
You can tape my mouth shut
Just to keep me quiet
I won't tell anybody our secrets
I'll keep them all to myself
And when I'm finally sane enough to separate myself from you
I'll take those pills off of my diet
I remember when I met you. I fell hard.
I remember when I told you the truth. I remember you saying you felt the same.
I remember when I was so nervous. Today I still am.
South Dakota football player. Scholarship. Lifeguard. Bartender.
Army Ranger. Mine. Yours.
I remember when you told me you were being deployed to Germany. I didn't really know how to take it.
I talked to you there. You said that you liked it and that made me pleased.
We sort of lost contact after that.
Next thing I know, it's a few months later and I'm talking to you over yahoo messenger.
I was happy that we had 'reconnected'.
I never felt more alone.
I asked why the all of a sudden talking to me.
You said you had felt that I had forgotten you.
You said to me that you were glad that you were very grateful for my talking to you.
You said that made you felt warm and comfy and you never lost feelings for me.
I never felt more empty.
You say to me that just because you guard your emotions doesn't mean you don't have them.
You say that you just wanna break down, but you don't think I'm ready yet.
All this to find out that you're going to war again.
He's going to be shot at, to be exact.
I don't remember the name of the city, but you were gone for about a week.
I was (...)
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When he completed me, that's when I realized I didn't want him as much as when I couldn't have him
He would fill me up, and I would still feel as empty
Is the glass half empty or half full
I would feel like a piece of meet; a slut that he chewed up and swallowed any time he wanted
When I lost control of love, I felt useless and mistaken
And I don't want to be 'the mistake'
I want to be apart of something more; something more valuable, something more complete, something less empty just do I could be apart of the 'half full' concept
But, I search and search and every empty soul enters my body, and I feel their pain
Except I am a robot, an introvert
I want to please you, because really I'm afraid of the pain that you could cause me
All the while,deep down, I truly want it
I just don't want to tell you
I don't want that insecurity to get the best of me; get the best of you
It's called submissive
When I love somebody, I love everybody
I can't help it
It's my infection and I can't let go because I don't know how I got it
I just know that it hurts, and that's something that I can't grasp
In dieing and nobody knows what's wrong, because I'm not going to tell them
Why? Because I might be delusional (...)
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