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	Alex Gardiner
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Alex Gardiner, 2 february 2012

Sticky Fingered jane

Canny remember this Lass's name,
but fur the poem's sake let's assume she's Jane.
'Jane ' this per wee soul had fingers lighter than a blidy feather,
aw things within her sicht yea had tae tether.

Wartime is no jist a time fur wurry or sorrow,
Certainly no fur Jane, aw things she wanted she jist borrowed.
Aye aw things she'd borrow without askin' if she could:(
frae clothes pegs,newspapers an' oany flippin' type o' food.

Funny thing tho' is ,she wis hard tae catch,
wae Jane, things vanished, even oot o' awbidy's veggie patch.
Noo this went oan fur sum munths -even a year.
every week sum wee thing wid jist disappear.

Everybidy jist kent is wis this lass Jane,
bit ivery bidy's attempt tae catch her wis jist in vain.
Yea kid be talkin tae her an' she kid steal yer blidy teeth,
nae kiddin' this lass wis beyond belief.

We lived in number three oor wee But'N'Ben,
Jane lived in five or wis it ten?
Nae matter- she lived in tapmaist flat,
jist hersel' withoot luv an' no even a wee tabby cat:(

No oor family didnae want tae drop her in the poo,
jist teach her a lesson ma dad said he wid do.
So ma Dad an'ma uncle Harry made a parcel wae a few frills,
An' left it oan the neighbour's doonstairs windae-sill.

Sure as itchy flees oan a wee cat's bum,
it wisnae lang before Jane did come.
She walked past the frilly parcel here oan the windae-ledge,
ma Dad an' uncle Harry watchin' -nerves oan edge.

Quick as a blidy blidy' flash,
that said parcel unner Jane's airm an' oaf she dashed.
Up the stairs tae her flat in number ten.
dad an' uncle Harry waited fur whit they didnae ken.

Suddenly the level three tap windae o' Jane's wee flat,
an' oot came that undone frilly parcel like a blidy scalded cat.
It landed at ma Dad an' uncle Harry's feet,
whit wis in that parcel a canny easily repeat.

Dad an' uncle Harry wir in fits an' tears,
their laffin' muscles wir in tap gear.
A wee clue tae the contents - Coo's S!^,
stull wonderin' eh? Rhymes wae Kite.

Noo cross ma hert this story is true,
cos' we had a dairy roon back which had lotes o' coo's poo.
As for Jane - weel she kent we knew she had fingers light,
never again did she pick up parcels full of S!^.

Aye the last wurd rhymes wae Kite

The Auld Yin.

number of comments: 3 | rating: 14 | detail

Alex Gardiner, 2 february 2012

Tae a Cherry

Wee, wee rid rid coated thing
tae ma hert sic joy yea bring.
Wae elegance an' tender charm,
ma racin' hert yea sae disarm.

Yea hang there among yer kind,
Bright an' braw but sae refined.
Ma wee rid rid coated friend,
sae Bonny, I'll nae pretend.

Each year fur us yea come along,
espousing nature's sweetest song.
A song not o' sound but o' exotic taste.
a taste fur oor lucky paletes tae be graced.

Here fur oanly a wee wee time,
yea mak ma taste buds gently chime.
Tastin' like nuthin' else oan this earthy place.
wae yer wee rid rid bonny smilin' face.

Frae yer parent tree yea duly burst ,
as a wee fluer yer gently nursed.
Caressed by bees yer scent doth bring,
eventually tae be a wee green pimply thing,

Bathed wae the Sun's life giving rays,
growing, maturing in such a wondrous way.
Changin', yellow, pink, noo tae yer rid rid style,
tae a Bonny Cherry tae please us fur a wee wee while.

Av jist picked yea up frae among yer like,
frae the box foo o' Cherries whay are jist alike.
But you ma wee wan are jist fur me,
hope yer taste is in the proper key.

Oh my, sic a burst o' pleasure,
ma wee wee rid rid bloomin' treasure.
Say juicy say sparklin' ma mooth foo o' joy,
wunnerful, exotic, aw ma senses yea do employ.

Thank yea, thank yea ma wee rid rid friend,
yer the greatest, aye I'll nae pretend.
Tull next year, tull wee meet again,
whin I'll listen tae yer song o' sweet refrain.

A song o' taste an' no o' sound,
o' tasting magic from aw Cherries abound.
Rest now yer gentle parent tree,
an' please bloom anither day fur me tae see.

The Auld Yin.

number of comments: 0 | rating: 14 | detail

Alex Gardiner, 2 february 2012

The Scottish Sound

Scoatish wurds a'ways sing a song,

wae wurds that arrr' niver very long.

The woman o' the house is called a "hen",

an' the house is a wee "But'n'Ben''.

An' the house itself is called a "hoose",

aye a hoose , rhymes with "toosh".

"Whin" simply means when,

an' when I say "I know" it jist means " ah ken".

Again whin I say " honel" ,

it so obviously means a "handle":)

Yea see it's not hard to "unnerstan",

that to you would be understand.

Shut up or a'll "lam yer bum"

is another Scottish "caallowkliissyum".

It simply means hold your tongue,

or I'll bash your bottom---- some:)

A common word you will hear is "wean"

means baby, that's what a Scot would be sayin'.

"Auld Yin" like me simply means Old one,

lots o' words an' mair to come:)

"Mair" I say lots of times,

means more, that's how is rhymes.

Now Scottish words arrrr' not so new,

they had centuries to accrue, accrue.

"Rabbie Burns" a great poet of his times,

used Scottish vernacular words for aw his rhymes.

To me he was and is the all time great,

just a wee reminder to keep you,-- up to date:)

So yea see aw you yins, am no say daft,

usin' scoatish wurds tae show ma craft.

Fur a lang lang time "Rabbies" poems we have seen,

an' tae me his poetry is the cream.

Noo frae wan tae a hunner oan "Rabbies" scale,

I come in at number wan,low, Aye a don't quite fail,

But in the begginin' yea hiv only seeds tae sow,

an' if ah "persayveer" hopefully ma number wull eventually grow.

Now if yea like tae ken sum mair Scoatish wurds,

so ma poetry disnae seem quite ubsurd.

Go to the address below this poum,

and let all ma Scoatish wurds be known:

Aye ah ken it's big address,

sae stupid ah dae confess.

But simply blidy " copy and paste",

an' learn sum Scoatish wurds oaf taste:)

The Auld Yin.

Address in Authors notes below.

Address below for Scottish Dickshunary and Thehsawrus. Just copy and paste into your browers address bar and click enter.

http://www.redbubble.com/people/windana1/journal/4109492-scoatish--dick-shunary-an--thesawrus-2-329-views-108-comments-an-27-favouritings-updated-version-easier-to-read-a-key-to-the-scoattish-language-tae-help-unnerstond-joak-233-an-mair

number of comments: 0 | rating: 11 | detail

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Other poems: Sticky Fingered jane, Tae a Cherry, The Scottish Sound,

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Sticky Fingered jane

Tae a Cherry

The Scottish Sound

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