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"Don't do it," she whispers. "This has to stop. Now. This has gone on too long."
I don't listen to this girl, this sensible girl in the glass. She doesn't know how it feels. She lives in the past place, in denial, where she is encased in her false happiness. She doesn't know the truth, because she is Past, and Past is no good at predicting the future. If she had predicted this, then we wouldn't be divided.
She would be the same way.
Rainy days. These are the days that are so beautiful, so interesting. They aren't blindingly bright, trying to force happy yellowness on everyone close to a window. Rain gives you time to think, and inspires you. It can wash away tears, but only if you're lucky enough, and bold enough, to stand in it. It brings pretty smells, sparkly trees, and little light.
It's funny that rain rhymes with pain and bright rhymes with light; snow rhymes with no, because you know you never see snow in Southeast Texas.
11/3/10
Written October 28th, 2010. It's kind of depressing. Actually, it's kind of depressing how depressing it really is. I have found I'm most inspired when I'm hurt.
I looked up and saw her. She looked back at me through her dark eyes, pained and confused. I looked deep, trying hard to figure out who she was. She kept staring, waiting for me to remember. Seconds turned to minutes, when finally, her eyes changed and the tears began to fall down her face, dripping onto her shirt. She was telling me "no", trying to escape from the wall between us. But I couldn't hear her, couldn't even remember her name, though I knew I should. I grabbed what I needed, and my world was hazed over with red. When I dared to look back, the girl was gone. And I was alone. Staring into the bathroom mirror.
Another written awhile ago.
There's two types of silence.
There's the nice kind of silence, the mind-numbing silence that gives you time to think. The silence you yearn for when you want peace.
The other is the deafening silence, the silence that roars in your ears and won't leave you alone. The silence that makes your ears bleed. The silence that can break you.
I wrote this a long time ago. Hope to get better. Hopefully you get can get over the angst of it. Teen angst. Haha.
Oh darling.
The single sight of you causes the dark shadow, always beside me, to stick yet another kinife into my bleeding heart and suffocationg lungs. The sound of your name leaves my ears ringing and my head spinning madly. The shadow slaps me hard across the face and laughs as it watches the tears run down my cheeks and pool onto my shirt.
