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i don't know what to say
everyday is new...but...
to me it's all the same
get up, get dressed, eat food
walk.
i walk all the time now
i always walk alone
it suits me.
the loner
that's me
i walk eight to ten miles a day.
and if that's not enough
i eat a ton too...
but never seem to gain
any weight.
my friends see me eat
a huge meal
and literally ask
"where does it all go?"
hahahaha!
i don't know where it goes
i have a high metabolism.
so it just vanishes
which is why i'm so hungry all the time.
*sighs*
oh well.
END OF ENTRY...
Will you love me when I am gone?
These words repeat inside my head
Will you love me when I am gone?
Will you miss me when I'm dead?
I wish I knew the answer
To those questions, but I don't
You possibly will never care
You probably already don't.
You've been gone for so long
And not seeing you killed me inside
And now, as I write this
My heart has already died.
This is the last poem which
I will write to you
I want you to know
That I really did Love you.
But apparently it wasn't enough
To keep you by my side
Because I know deep down that
Your so called "love" for me has died
I've been hurt so many times
But this one seems like the worst
So I'll make it easy on both of us
(...)
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The inner depths of my soul screams in agony, torrmented by betrayal of trust, care, and devotion. I can't sleep at night, for fear that Death's flaming chariot shall take me away. I can't eat while my soul starves for attention. I can't cry, my eyes gave up their tears when you died. My life is empty, and void of all life it once had known. The happiness has been banished, replaced with hate, and malice. Nothing can calm the raging darkness deep within my heart. No light can banish it, no smile can sweep it away. Not since you left. My smile died with you. Forever buried in that same grave that your bones will rot in for all eternity.
my heart, is a sad
sick, twisted clump
of tissue, rotting
in my chest. it is
a black abyssmal
nothing. full of
sadness and
void of
life...
hear it beat.
that pitter-pat...
ba-da-bump...
ba-da-bump...
slowly it beats, getting
slower, and
slower. until it stops.
and breaks.
the ticking of the soul
has broken
its beat.
the heart's clock
no longer works.
it has died.
(...)
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this is a new feeling,
that i've never felt before,
it's warm and yet cold
soft and yet hard.
it makes my heart beat fast
and then slow
so very slow
and then this feeling
stops....
vanishes completely
as if it were never there
i do not know the name
of this vanishing feeling
but the emptiness it leaves
behind it when it's gone
is undescribable.
it makes me feel hollow
when it's not there to warm
my heart.
maybe this feeling is
a sort of elation.
like ecstasy or excitement
that only lasts for a short time
and once it leaves your system
you feel,
incomplete.
hollow.
empty
void of all life.
this is that feeling
and nothing is quite like it.
the excitement of a kiss
the ecstasy of a touch
it is these feelings
and nothing more...
My heart beats
For you.
Hear it go,
Ba-ba-da-bump
ba-bump
ba-bump...
Hear it skip,
Ba-ba-ba-da-bump
ba-bump
ba-bump...
Hear it flutter,
Ba-da-ba-da-bump
ba-bump
ba-bump...
Like a butterfly
Springing from its
Cacoon.
My love grows
Like a rose
Until I cannot contain it.
I lean in
Our lips touch.
and you could hear
(...)
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just got home from a slumber party... stayed up til 3 am... sooooo tired! must sleep...
how would you feel
if you were the cause
of so much pain
and anguish?
how would you feel
if you were the victim
of such crelty?
would you enjoy it?
picture this....
a cute black labrador
with its eyes
nose
and mouth
glued shut...
picture...if you will
a kitten
whose fur and flesh
are covered
in burning tar...
not pretty and joyful pictures
but it's the truth
animal abuse is a reality....
and it could end with you
(...)
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my old boyfriend's time w/ me is gone
now i'm dating someone new
he's kinder than the rest...
his sweetness knows no boundaries
i think i am in love!!!
so here is to my one true love
the healer of my heart
i will never leave you if you say you love me
my heart is yours your heart in mine
together as one heart we beat
throughout eternity...
Happy In Heaven We'll Eternally Be
Once upon a winter morning,
Silently I came a'mourning.
I mourn the loss of my love so dear,
His death produced my greatest fear.
And now I wish, I too, were dead,
To kill this guilt inside my head.
This guilt I have is, oh, so new,
Because I forgot to say, "I love you."
And now, at your funeral and in your grave
Your body dead, your soul to live,
I wish you were here to calm my heart,
Because your death tore me apart.
May I join you in your death?
May I lie down, take my last breath?
Would that be what you wanted for me?
No, I think not, and now I see,
That if you were here, what you'd say to me
Is to live my life as happy as can be.
So I will move on, but never forget,
Your loss to me, is a great regret.
If I but move on, I believe I will be,
As happy as life can give to me.
And after my life is up on Earth,
(...)
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