eunoia

eunoia, 19 november 2020

COVID (090120)

everyday
I was imagining us
that day when we'll be together
coz this whole waiting thing sucks
I can't hold your hand
I can't touch you
I can't do things for you
I can't make you smile
I can't comfort you
I'm losing hope sometimes
but your love makes me go on

but I found out while I'm imagining
you're doing it to someone else
my world broke apart
do I deserve this pain??
you held her hand
you touched her
you do things for her
you makes her smile
you comfort her
I lost hope
but your lies made me move on....


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eunoia

eunoia, 19 november 2020

Crazy (092020)

I don't wish you karma
I just want you to realize my worth
I don't wish you go back to me
I just want you to do what you want to do
I don't wish it's still me
I just want you to be happy
..even if it's not me


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eunoia

eunoia, 11 november 2019

I Don't Mean What I Meant (080819)

I don't like typhoons because it comes with floods right after
butit doesn't mean I don't like rain and lightning

I don't like mornings because it reminds me that I have to wake up and work again
but it doesn't mean I don't like the blue sky, the sun, and the fluffy clouds

I don't like being told often to sleep early because my anemia will be triggered and that it's bad for my health
but it doesn't mean I don't like long hours of sleeping

I don't like noise like blaring horns and loud talking people because it's stressful and irritating
but it doesn't mean I don't turn up the volume to my favourite songs when my headset's on

I don't like the pain that comes when you decide to finally get a tattoo
but it doesn't mean I don't like to have one in the future

I don't like riding a boat and be distanced far from land because i have thalassophobia
but it doesn't mean I don't like the sea, the starfish or the coral reefs

I don't like the idea of falling in love because it comes with heartache and tears
but it doesn't mean I won't risk falling in love with you..


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eunoia

eunoia, 28 august 2012

Wounded Warrior (August 26, 2012)

I’m a
wounded
warrior…
 
and I
won’t fight
anymore…
 
what
for?
 
if the
person
I’m fighting for…
 
won’t fight
for me
no more!?


number of comments: 0 | rating: 0/2 | detail |


eunoia

eunoia, 28 august 2012

Dear Diary (August 25, 2012)

it’s been eight months since she left
almost four hundred eighty five days more
I miss her eyes, her smile, her kiss
and of course everything about her
I wish she never went away
to make our dreams come to life
but I can’t blame her
after all I’ve got nothing to give
 
I regret the times I hurt her
and being unfaithful for the last years
I'm cruel to took her for granted
thinking she’d always be there
she don’t deserve those things
yet I made her suffer, made her cry
but she was able to forgive me
above everything I’ve done against her
and gave me unlimited chances
 
for the last weeks I heard nothing from her
I’m afraid she must be awakened
and had notions that I don’t love her
how I wish I’m just overreacting or dreaming
I can’t imagine her being with someone else
because I love her with all my heart
I don’t know what to do if I lose her
cause wer'e made for each other
 
every night I would open her old letters
to read her I love you’s and sweet nothings
to remind me that she loves me
this distance between us is breaking me into pieces
and only she can glue me together
and would accept me even if I'm full of cracks
I hope it’s not too late for me
now that I realize and understand everything
I love her so much.
 
always,
John


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eunoia

eunoia, 9 july 2012

Mother's Touch (August 15 2002)

you brought me here with no regret
under consequence of life and death
you showered me a love so much
the real meaning of mother’s touch

but destiny brought catastrophe
when father left you, all us three
he never visited nor care to call
and from your toils alone you raised us all

we rarely agree on certain things
sometimes share same understanding
in my achievements you’re often proud
you’re my savior from the crowd

honestly, i fear to loose you
though time will come, i know it’ll do
because i owe to repay your hardworks for me
that's to trade anything to make you happy

and thru this poem i confess
i thank God for all His greatness
and that from the heart and mind of a daughter
there could only be one loving mother 



(i composed this poem for my mother, and gave it as my gift on her 53rd birthday)


number of comments: 2 | rating: 0/3 | detail |


eunoia

eunoia, 9 july 2012

Perhaps (July, 2002)

perhaps there's no hindrance
between the rich and poor
rather unity
and things will have it's own cure

perhaps amidst obstacles
we'll learn to smile
no frown faces
or burdened even for awhile

perhaps there's no tears
like heavy falling rain
merely tears of joy
but never because of pain

perhaps no terrorists
won't go that far
still they'll choose peace
instead of war

perhaps cripple, deaf or mute
will be fairly treated
if beyond imperfections
they are accepted

perhaps some won't be greedy
for fame, money, or glory
because he's contented
and never feels sorry

perhaps no orphan or beggar
who will wander here and there
if their own family learned
to give them proper shelter

perhaps in earth
there's no flood, famine or pollution
if only each respects
all our master's creations

if we only learn..
perhaps..


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eunoia

eunoia, 9 july 2012

Goodbye (July, 2001)

quickly, another day passed
like the sand from a broken hour glass
drifting from my hands
senseless of my glance

again i’ll live my life alone
where i'll do things on my own
cause i don’t know
if destiny for me will often be slow

sometimes i wonder
have i fallen into deep slumber
coz i’ve been a prisoner
of this love i kept forever

so better yet i must let go
cause my day slips and turns to sorrow
because i do need a rest
from a love full of jest


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eunoia

eunoia, 9 july 2012

Words To Ponder (April 2001)

amidst this place of nowhere
my world gone dim and colder
i stared upon the misty sky
then tears rolled down my eyes

i asked the Lord cause i wonder why
He gave me friends that makes me smile
but in the end they say goodbye
so i wonder if it's all lie

abruptly i heard a rumbling thunder
as if the Lord give me an answer
it came to me it's part of life
to never lose out of sight

afar i notice a silhouette exist
which brought me a sudden bliss
as he comes closer he lends a hand
asking, proffering to be his friend

without a doubt i nod at him
remembering whatever he may seem
i should cherish someone like him 
for i don't want to see him as well in dim

now i thank the Lord above
for giving me unconditional love
and thoughts for me to ponder
that i must treasure my friends forever


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eunoia

eunoia, 9 july 2012

Broken (March 2001)

a hollow grieving night
with meaningless sway of emotion
merely perched on the ground
while the soothing buss of zephyr
whispers to my ears
and black tears unseen
covered by these fancy smile
symphatizes with agony
brought by your insensitivty
much more of your mendacity
nevertheless
i wont succumb my love
for you gave me much to reminisce
though i lived more in lunacy
at times i’ll lurk for daybreak
start to pace, follow a light
maybe fate wil give me space
in this world so unfair
and let my heart breathe again
from this darkness i own..


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