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6 february 2012

6 february 2012, monday ( Triggers )

Dear Diary.
I had a strange feeling overcome me today.. something I had never felt before. It made me weak, I want to call it love but even that seems wrong. I thought about you.. I really thought about everything. Things that I havent been able to face, now I can see clearly in front of me. I don't like you, everything about you is soo wrong . Yet your face won't leave my mind. I know how you feel, but you don't know how I do. This is for you, and I know you will never find it because I am to scared. But this is for you. I'm in love with you. Forgive me okay? Forgive everything about me.. please. I would change in a heart beat, but my mind can't jump that fast. I am sorry. I am turly sorry.  Be strong, okay? One day I hope you find this, and you think about me.. but that day won't be for a very long time. It kills me to look you dead in the eye and pull the trigger. Though, becuase I am soo weak I will never have to.

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