Jock Engelman
my daily routine… is there something wrong?
As I watch the sun set and watch it rise
i hear the sound of my alarm clock
can i survive the world today?
sleepless nights, eyes burning
maybe i will sleep tonight, must keep going
as i lay curled on the shower floor
i silently cry to myself
so tired, yet so awake
out to my guym, the barrier between
the chaos of the dark passenger
as the monster dwelling within
tries to control my actions
through my day, i’m surrounded yet alone
missunderstood, riddiculed, and mocked
i wonder why they are happy
as i move from class to class
i pull my long sleeves down to hide the scars
no one must know i’m vunerable
until the lonely trip home
once i am home, i train my pain away
attempting to tire myself out
and i complete my homework
hoping that i can be loved
i lay myself by the shower now
knife in hand, maybe tonights the end
and as the warm blood flows freely
the white floor pools with my blood
finally a pain i can understand
and as the blood clots, i shower clean
i stay up late into the night
trying to stitch up my wounds
i lay myself down to rest late tonight
as a warm fat tear rolls down my cheek
i watch the clock spin
this is my daily cycle…
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