An Average Perspective On A Microcosm
Observing the world, as an average bloke;
All the disrespect, of the fellow folk;
A civilised race, being uncivil;
If only we could all, just coalesce;
No matter your idol, God or Goddess;
Contrary to belief, we are capable;
To move forward, mend bridges of trust;
To mend fences of respect, it's a must;
To love one another, I think it's time;
So now let us turn this world, all around;
Make it celestial, just to astound;
All who don't understand, Heaven On Earth;
Ignorance, may be considered as bliss;
Where's that tranquil world, I dearly miss;
Well that disappeared, with my innocence;
Binded in this messed up world together;
Aid me Dear Brother, Aid me Dear Sister;
I'll aid you to create Heaven On Earth;
I love this. I love your use of language and how it flows beautifully while creating a beautiful idea. This is a feeling I share, but have had a hard time putting into words.
report
thank you very much Lo, it is something that has been bugging me for a long time now and i have been itching to write something about it :)
report
Oh it is awesome,keep it up,I enjoy reading you....
report
thank you very much Irena i shall check out your works tonite :)
report
this one my best, i could vote it again and again
report
thank you Judith, it is very very much appriciated :DDD
report
It's nice to see others who have a `celestial perspective' of our troubled existence. As to the poem: I like obviously, what you have written but here are some suggestions you may wish to consider: `Observing the world x[,]x as an average bloke; All [I see is] the disrespect x[,]x of x[the]x [my] fellow folk; `If x[only]x we could [only] all x[,]x just coalesce; If you read the rest of the poem with the same rhythm and miter you may see some other changes you might want to make this a greater poem...All the best..
report
yes it does seem to change pace after those 4 lines doesnt it well i will look into that, thank you very much Joe
report