It hurt so much,
When she foolishly dumped me.
I wanted to fall to my knees when she told me it was so.
But I couldn’t be so selfish and cry over my own loss.
I had to be strong for her when she started to cry.
The sadness in her voice was hard to bear.
I held her close for the last time in this life.
I didn't make a sound, tell she had left.
I fell apart uncontrollably,
Crying.
I reallly like how you've connected with this moment - it would be better if you could extend it some more, describe the moment in greater detail. For such an impacting moment i would like to have heard some more about what was happening. Never the less, it's still got some strong resonance.
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This isnt my best poetry. i will admit i dont really care for this poem but its okay.
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